Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Thanking God for unanswered prayers...

So I had applied for a management position with CCPN. Great benefits, substantial raise, office job.... This job, pre-Maddox, is everything I could have asked for in a career. I had 3 interviews, all went beautifully and I had multiple recommendations from employees within their company, and I was told I came with high regard. I KNEW I had it in the bag.
It was one of those things that I was SO sure of that I immediately started second guessing it:
  • Is it worth putting Maddox in Daycare, paying $900 a month to do so and only being able to play with him between the hours of 6:00pm and 9:00pm during the week?
  • Is it worth leaving a job that I love, with doctors that not only do I respect and trust with my child, but that I also call my friends?
  • Is it worth losing a boss that not only cares about how our practice runs as an entity but also cares about me personally, my husband and my child?
I had to hold most of these feelings at bay because when said aloud, I knew it was selfish and would be crazy to turn down. My family has had a terribly hard year and this honestly would be the answer to a lot of prayers... I knew that WHEN this job was offered I would have to take it. I continued to pray that the Lord would lead us to whatever was right for our family... and I asked that whatever we were given, that it be easy on us-- I feel that we have had enough 'difficult' this year.

What I did not do however was call and check status. Each day someone would say, "have you heard anything yet?" and I would say... noooo? (you know, play the dumb card) and when they asked if I had called to check on it, I would simply say no. (like I didn't know that was something you were supposed to do?!)

WELL-- This past week I agreed to work for one of my friends while she went on her honeymoon. Initially I had intended to cancel my nights of night clinic during those 8 days (one of the other things I was sad to give up with the CCPN job... you've got to love that freedom of being PRN) but I was only able to cancel 2 of them since everyone came down with FLU!! The first week I worked 4 night clinic nights... 2 nights of call... and 3 days in the office. The 2nd week I worked 2 nights at night clinic... 2 nights of call... and all 5 days in the office. Although it felt so good to see some of my old patients and catch up with my old co-workers and to envision that check I was creating-- I WAS EXHAUSTED!!!

I have good work ethic, I always have, I am definitely not scared of working... and not to toot my horn, but I am good at my job-- I enjoy it.
But I HATED missing out on my time with my boy. Every day sucked. Each morning I would think about what breakfast I was missing out on... and play time... and bath time... and lunch time... and so on.

I made up my decision... [there is not a price tag on what I have now. I get to stay home with my pookie-pie everyday-- we can still do anything we want to as long as we are done by 4:00 and then I go to work, 4 nights a week. I try to have dinner in the crock pot or made into a casserole so things are easy for Lance or I will cook a big lunch for us and they have leftovers for dinner. My check is the same or more now that it was when I worked full time since I get a night time differential and take call now] ...I am not taking the new job!!

And luckily I did not have to disappoint my family and explain my "stupid" decision. They don't want me! Silly to say, but I am stoked! I got an e-mail last night that they have filled the position!

...And I got a raise from FWP last week at my 4 year evaluation!

I'm going to go with this being a "God thing"... an unanswered prayer. (or maybe a secretly answered prayer!)

Please continue to pray for Lance. WE NEED IT!


  1. I am so happy for you :) I love that you continue to keep God #1 in your life- He is the one with all the answers and trusting in Him will lead you in the right direction! I miss ya'll like crazy and reading your blogs makes me SOOO excited to get to Texas for Christmas time!!!

  2. So glad everything worked out for the best. Times are really hard for everyone right now but they will get better.