Sunday, October 4, 2009

September 17, 2008

(copy/paste from myspace)

call me a hypocrite...

Maddox has his appointment this Thursday for his 2 month check up. As you know, I am a pediatric nurse. I receive my paycheck for loving on babies, well and sick. I hold back hair for vomiting kiddos, I hold the hands of postpartum moms, I reassure new dads over the phone… this is what I do.
I chose to be an office nurse rather than work in the hospital because of this alone. I love to watch a worried dad, help his "crazy" wife turn their jaundiced preemie into a fat butter ball. I enjoy seeing a newborn change so quickly into a toddler and reach each milestone… and eventually know me too, as Nurse Holly—as they run, and play and talk! I gave up a lot of the excitement and the nursing skills that go along with working in the hospital by taking this job. I do blood pressures, hearing and vision tests, I irrigate ears, I give updrafts, I do urine catheterizations, and minimal lab draws. I splint arms, and dress wounds and bla bla bla-- nothing wild!
The one thing I do… or did… over and over… every single day… was immunize our kiddos. I listened to worried moms (usually the granola-type moms) hold vaccines or put their kids on an alternate vaccine schedules. I always asked why, to see if they truly had reasons and had done research to back it up or if they were just jumping on the bandwagon like the grapefruit diet.
I thought these moms were a little crazy until that episode of Oprah with Jenny McCarthy. It happened to air on my half day and I sat here in front of my TV and cried. Even she said that there is no evidence linking immunizations to autism, her push was that you should always follow your "mommy instinct", if something doesn't feel right- don't do it.
I showed up at work the next morning—crying. How many moms had I rolled my eyes at for her choice to hold vaccines? What if one day there is evidence linking the two… Then how many kiddos have I "administered" autism to? Every doctor in the building was throwing studies at me to read. I LOVE every single doctor I work for but one even told me that I might want to look for another job because I needed to wholeheartedly believe in what I am doing.
I know the studies. (and I knew them before all 6 doctors gave me crap to read.) These "autism from vaccines" people claim that it is from thimerisol (a mercury derivative) found in vaccines. They all say that the MMR vaccine is the bad one. HOWEVER, there is no thimerisol in the MMR vaccine. It is a live vaccine that you mix right before you give it. The only thing my office gives that has thimerisol in it is the flu vaccine… with TRACE amounts. There is more mercury in fish than in the vaccine.
I am not discouraging vaccines in any way. Honestly, I belive those who don't vaccinate their children are irresponsible to society. They are hoping that the rest of the world WILL immunize their children so that they don't have the risk for theirs.
I have thought a lot about this autism thing. I think one of the reasons that the numbers are SOOO much higher now than what they have been in the past is definitely the umbrella use of the title. There are so many different spectrums of autism. Kids with a speech delays are thrown in with children with idiosyncratic social skills, such as Asperger Syndrome.
I have to believe in what I do… I have no evidence to believe otherwise. So I made up my own reason! …With no research at all!
(I am a hypocrite, you see?!) I think that eventually the food we eat will be linked to the diagnosis? The only reason I think that is because so much of these kid's symptoms are minimized by just dietary changes. Think about the hormones and antibiotics in our meat that have already been linked to things such as premature puberty in girls.
Sooooo I pay over $200 each month for a freezer full of organic meat and veggies. This was my conclusion to protect my son. (I have never been accused of not being a little crazy!) We had a company come out while I was pregnant and give us their spill… and needless to say it didn't take much to sell me. And the way I look at it, I already spent the money each month at the grocery store, and this is much better quality and much better for us also. We buy organic milk too, it is more expensive but it lasts much longer. Anywho, this has held me over… until now.
I have a baby due for SIX immunizations in 2 days. A baby boy. (Autism is much higher in boys)
Jenny McCarthy—I am listening to my mommy voice. I am going to march my hypocritical, educated-- but no evidence of linking the 2, licensed nurse bottom in there and say six is way too much for the immature immune system of my two month old baby boy.
And I am scared.
I am sure I will be mocked… but who cares. I am definitely going to vaccinate my baby. It is important, and I believe that. But I have the choice to split it up… and I will. ...Two at a time until his shot record looks like all the rest.
I am the mommy!

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