Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Getting started...

I expect this one to be a little rough around the edges... Give me time, I should get better!
Since I haven't "blogged" since Maddox was 2 months old, I really don't know where to start. I have missed talking about his first time to roll over, crawl, pull up, and then cruise. I missed blogging about him getting his top 4 teeth at once and how I made Lance pull the car over because if I heard him scream another hour I was going to fling myself into oncoming traffic! I missed talking about his first birthday party that I put my blood, sweat and tears into and how he took his first 2 steps on his birthday. I missed getting to blog about the day he started walking and when we realized it had progressed to the run.... So I can't think of a milestone to gush about right now...

I guess I'll write about my hubby. Life. and Love. ...Since this is fresh on my mind!
Our life is FAR from where we planned it to be at this point in our lives. There are days that we get wrapped up in the day to day stress that we carry and forget to look at the big picture...
Last night he came to bed and I could tell something was up. He is at a funeral today for a guy he went to fire academy with. A man who cancer took his life quickly and he is leaving behind a wife and 4 young boys. This is the 2nd person to pass away from their group and so one of the reasons he is upset is because this guy is a father and it hits home a little more and another reason is because he is superstitious and he thinks these type of things always come in 3s.
I think his anxiety was increased after he got off of the phone with his sister who had just been to the viewing for the 4 year old boy in Bridgeport. Occasionally something like this will slap Lance in the face and he will make promises to be healthier and what not.
This was the same thing last night.
He wanted to talk about how I would take care of Maddox if something happened to him, though twisted, I am kind of use to this. It wasn't a month ago that Lance had me tell him who I would have for his Pallbearers if something were to happen to him. As I type this I do think it is a little crazy... but because I know my husband better than anyone else on this earth, I know it is just his way of checking the locks for the 16th time and driving back to make sure the garage door went all of the way down. He NEEDS to be prepared!
We talked until almost 2:00am about life, death, faith and love.
We cried about how much we love Maddox and how scary it is to love something that much.
We laughed at the seriousness of his words when he said, "Maddox is going to be good at golf" in normal conversation without even thinking. He went on to tell me that Maddox already has great form and holds his hands perfect every time. (let me tell you that Maddox's golf club is a fat, red, Fisher Price club, less than 2' long!!) and then pitifully said, "but he's right handed..." and then did a face of not being satisfied! He's 14 months old Babe!!
Nights like these make all of the bad times worth your while. When your husband tells you how much he loves you and why he picked you to be his life-long partner... and when you know he doesn't have an alterior motive in doing so!! I think love is like a roller coaster... it is the lows that make the highs so much better. And looking at the monitor, to our perfect jewel that is 1/2 me and 1/2 him, who loves us both more than we probably deserve... makes this economy crap just dust in the wind.
Keep us in your prayers... and by that, Pray for natural disaster please! (He is a catosrophic insurance adjuster, you know!)


  1. You got my hormones going with this one! I'm trying not to mess up my makeup! :-) We miss ya'll so much

  2. The past couple of days have been the most heartbreaking days of my "motherhood".

  3. I have baby fever REAL bad guys... I watched the video I made for Maddox's first birthday party today and cried! Seeing all of our babies... tiny as can be, growing up together, all crying in my bathtub... I can not wait to do it again! I'm jealous of you Miss Kristen!!

    K. and bear with me, I am still so new to this... How do I know who KdoubleH is?