Sunday, May 1, 2011

Beckham's big day

Let me pick up where we left off...

Laps at Sams Club USA...


We all went to bed around 11:00...

[All, as in everyone but me.]

My contractions started getting harder and my headache wasn't changing, so I hopped into a warm bath.
Back to bed I went and my headache started feeling better, but the contractions worsened.

By 12:30 or so, I decided they were more than I wanted to tackle at the hotel and was ready to go in.
My thought process was this: there I can get something to take away this pain, and I can rest.
I need rest.

I woke everyone up, took another shower, mom helped me get ready through contractions, we re-packed the hotel room and headed to the hospital.
David stayed with Maddox, but me, Lance, my mom and sister, headed in.

It was close to 2:00 am when we rolled into the ER and by this point I couldn't talk through the contractions.
The tech-girl was so rude... she said, "you have an induction at 7:30..." and she just walked off.
She got to the end of the hall way and said, "are you going to follow me?!"

I was squirming in my wheelchair and trying to remember to breathe, or else I would have popped her!

My nurse came into my room shortly there-after and I immediately started apologizing.
"I know I have an induction scheduled in 5 hours but I couldn't handle these pains any more"
"I know you guys change shifts at 7:00, so there's a reason I was set for 7:30... I'm sorry."

I had the most awesome nurse.
He name was Tanya.
She said, "last I checked, I get paid to take care of you... and that's what I am going to do."
She hooked me up to my monitors, went through all of my paper work, started my IV and checked me.
A three.
A three.
I couldn't believe it!!

Again I started apologizing.
"I waited until I couldn't talk through them... I really don't have a high pain tolerance at all...  I'm sorry for wasting your time..."
And she never missed a beat.
She said, "look at those contractions, they are right on top of each other, you are hurting... you need an epidural and I am getting you one!"
While waiting on the anesthesiologist, Tanya talked me through my breathing pattern, would tell me when I reached the peak of each contraction, and counted down their ease for me.
It really helped.

During pregnancy, I fantasize about the feet rubs and back rubs that I will get during labor...
But I hate to be touched during that time, and always miss the pampering opportunity!

Lance did what he does best, and kept me laughing to pass time while waiting for my epidural....
but I would go from stitches to glaring at him because it hurt to giggle and contract!!

I enjoyed having him, my mom and my sister there all night...
What a night!!

Dr Jones put in my epidural in around 4:00am.
And life got better.

I relaxed and started progressing.
I was my nurse's only patient, so me being the talker that I am ... we got to know  each other.
I loved her to pieces, and feel lucky that I had her to labor with all night.
She was an angel.

Tonya encouraged us to rest, and my mom noticed Beckham's heart rate on the monitor drop dramatically.
Apparently, the nurses got the same notification, because Tanya and her charge nurse were in my room quickly with a tackle box full of drugs.
They said my blood pressure bottomed out, causing his heart rate to do the same.
I was injected with ephedrine, put on oxygen and we were back in the go.  

Trying to rest again.

Just as my family finally drifted into a nap, my water broke!
On its own!
What a cool feeling!

My mom went an grabbed my nurse, who changed my pad and noticed my water was green.
My nurse told me that the NICU team would be paged so that they could be in the room during delivery.
She said, best case scenario, Beckham would come out and not cry and they could suction him out, look him over, with very little stimulation and he would be just fine.
But in case he aspirated any, we would need a team on board.
And my tears started to flow.
Once again-- Lance doesn't get to cut the cord and I don't get the immediate baby to bare chest experience that we had to miss out on during Maddox's birth due to complications.
But bigger than that... NICU?!?!?! 
I need a healthy baby.

My sister had a text chain going throughout the night letting some of my friends know our progression.
At this point I asked her to send out a prayer request.

Still no sleep for me.
And very little for anyone else either.

Around 6:45, a feeling of urgency came over me.
I had major pressure.
And a little pain.

2 things...
1.  My epidural took quite a bit longer to feel like it was in effect than it did with Maddox, and it never got to a point where I couldn't bend my legs and move myself all over my bed.
Up until this point, I thought that was a good thing-- and was impressing everyone, since Dr Jones is known for a heavy epidural.
2.  Also, the point (on the clock) where I felt pressure, pain and the feeling to push was right in the middle of shift change.  I did not want to bother the nurse so I held tight.

A couple of minutes later, there was no holding-- I had to bother them.
I told my mom to get the nurse, we were having a baby!

Tonya was now off shift, and old-lady-hate-her-job nurse was now on.
She came in my room as if I was being dramatic.
"What's the problem?"
In which I told her about the pain and feeling that I needed to push.
She checked me and said I was an eight.
She said I wasn't feeling pain, that it was pressure and normal.
She said Dr. Deem was on her way an if I have the feeling of need to push, "just don't".

The pain started getting worse and by 7:15, I felt like there was no way I could hold in this baby in my body-- but I dang sure didn't want to tell my nurse.

Lance told her 3 more times that I felt more pressure, more pain, and wanted to push...
She told him I didn't.

At 7:30, Dr. Deem came in to my room.
She could tell I was uncomfortable and I told her the same thing.
"I feel pain, not just pressure and I want to push."

My nurse popped off with, "she's just an 8, I just checked her."

Dr. Deem said she would check me and get me a little bolus before we progressed the rest of the way and had to start pushing.

I have never seen this side of my OB when she went to check and I was crowning.
Fully effaced, an obvious 10 and needing to bear down.
She slid my mirror over and showed me Beckham's hair.
He was coming.
We were ready, beyond ready and Dr. Deem was obviously pissed.
But definitely not as much as I was.

I wanted to slap that old lady's face and scream:
Just-checked-my-ass!! ...It has been 45 minutes!!
Now we have to start pushing and I can't have anymore drugs!!
I.  Hate.  Pain.
I need the drugs!  :)

Dr. Deem put on her game face, plopped my feet in styrups and told me she thought I could have him here in 3 pushes.
 Mirror adjusted, I was ready!
I may not be athletic, but I can birth a child.
This is what I was born to do!

My sister got the camera ready, Lance on my right and my mom on the left and we went to town.

7:46 am.
With four contractions and approximately 15 pushes, our baby boy was born.
Not without lots of pain, and 3 stitches but he was completely worth it!

Dr Deem pulled him out and he quietly looked around the room. 
(just as our best case scenario hoped he would)

She handed him to the NICU doctor and her and her team worked him over.
Finally, she said, "Okay buddy, I am done with you... you can cry when you are ready."
And right on cue, he did!

They took his temp and it read 101.2.
Again, panic.
and tears....
Beckham's nurse asked my nurse if I was running any fever.
She said no, but Dr. Deem recommended she retake it and I was 100.4.

Apparently since I was febrile, it didn't make his temperature a big deal.

Finally I got to hold my sweet bucket'o'love.
And send out our updates!

With Maddox, we were a scheduled induction, everyone could get updates throughout my progression-- and by the time we delivered... we had a waiting room full of people ready to meet our baby boy.

With Beckham, our family knew we had to be at the hospital at 7:00 and were expecting the same game plan as Maddox (probably a late afternoon delivery) so the "he's here" notification, just minutes after we were supposed to get started, caught everyone off guard.
It also left us with an empty waiting room, and no one for Lance to make his proud-Daddy-appearance with stats.
Though the millions of people, flashes and unwashed hands stressed me to the max almost 3 years ago... the empty room was a little lonely.

Beckham Harold Erwin
7lbs 140z and 21" long
(a bit smaller than his brother)

Dr Deem went ahead and had them bolus me as soon as we delivered and it worked well.
Maybe too well?!
Lance and I got a kick out of my rag doll body!

David got to the hospital pretty quickly and Maddox got to meet his baby brother.

Without thinking, Maddox leaned over an kissed his baby brother's head.

We had a short while with just my little family...

Visitors started showing up to meet our prize and my mom and sister headed home.
They were able to sleep all day and David and Maddox played.

Still no sleep for me.

I had another awesome nurse that night in postpartum, named Wendy.  She was a travel nurse.
Her and I chatted a lot.
(actually from 5:00am to 7:00... we lost track of time!)
Beckham had a couple of episodes of spitting and choking, and she let me keep him on my chest.
(against hospital policy-- but she was a huge-breast feeding proponet and is all about skin-skin contact)
But better than that, Beckham and I got to know each other that night.

I was so anxious with Maddox.
I just knew the minute I closed my eyes, he was going to die.
And I have none of that with Beckham.
He feels like an old spirit that I have known forever.
He is so calm and easy.
And he looks at me in a way that I can't explain with words.

Dr. Rhodes (a pediatrician I work for) came by the next morning and performed Beckham's circumcision and he told me he would discharge me if I was ready.
I was.
I wasn't resting at the hospital, I might as well go home and try it there.

My day nurse, Cynthia, was very sweet too and she helped us get discharged.

My food was fantastic.  Seriously.
The nutritionist made me the greatest salad I have ever eaten! 
And the cheesecake... Amazing!
I thought about staying just for the food!  :)

Once all the paperwork was complete, we headed out.

We stopped by Mexican Inn for an order to go, just like we did after Maddox's birth.

I was more tired than I had been in my life, and wanted a shower.
We stayed the first night at mom's and enjoyed our extra help.
And reeeeeeally enjoyed our home cooked breakfast!

Maddox immediately seemed so much older.
I hate that.
He looked so long, and his head looked bigger, and just-- older...

I prayed so many prayers for an easy infant, and so far-- my prayers have been answered.
What I didn't anticipate was how hard this transition would be on Maddox.
Daily, it is getting better-- but the fits, the acting out, and the defying bounderies, just to see our response was not something I anicipated.

We are getting there.

I thank God continuosly for his blessings.
This perfect baby.
My amazing husband.
That sweet soul, I call Maddox....
My family of four.



  1. Ok...I am bawling!!!! My favorite blog of your's ever!! Soooo sweet!!! He Is beautiful!! And the pic of Maddox kissing him is priceless!! So many good pics!!! And only you would blow dry her hair during labor : ). Love your family!!!!

  2. Awe I've been waiting for this post!! I'm so proud of you!! You did great....I too, had a stupid nurse and my Dr. came in cursing and literally YELLING at the nurses for allowing me to push for 3 hours with no progress and not notifying her. I was scared of my Dr. I thought I was in trouble too, but it was nice to see her come in and take charge!! Beckham is SOO adorable, and you're right, Maddox does look older now. I can't wait to watch them grow up!

  3. I haven't wanted to have another baby in 5 yrs,lol But your blog made me want a baby your attention to detail to me back to the birth of my sweet Gavin.I loved those days can't believe I got my tubes tied what was I thinking!lol oh yeah I have four!

  4. Seeing all of Beckham's newborn pictures makes me want to cry! He is precious. I miss that time with Boyd!!!! I'd like it back for a day or two. I don't like mean nurses, sorry you had to deal with that, but glad you had good ones too! Loved reading your birth story. Congrats again! You have a beautiful family of 4!!!