Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Oh how I miss thee.

Yesterday Kristen and her girls came over for lunch and to play...
I have no pictures... but I think she took a few.
Whew-- I miss her!
And those precious little girls of her's too!!

For dinner we went to my parents and Lance grilled steaks, and zucchini-squash-peppers-mushrooms and-onions on the grill.  Mom made rolls, home-made au'gratin potatoes, corn, and broccoli-cauliflower-and-carrots. And I made a salad and brought the leftover icecream cone- cupcakes from earlier in the day...
We stuffed our faces-- 
and then watched the Mavs take game one!

It was about 11:00 when the game was over--
but it felt like 4:00am.
Maddox crashed in bed with mom, Beckham in my lap--
I've been sleep-walking for weeks.

Beckham fed at 11:30... 3:00ish... and 7:00.
(not bad- but it still takes him about an hour to nurse)
I pumped at 7:00 so Lance could feed and I could go back to sleep.

But then Maddox woke up.
And he wanted to get in my bed and snuggle.

So we did.

Just as I got back to sleep it was 9:00 and Beckham wanted to feed again.


No, he's just spoiled.
He wanted me.

Two minutes of sucking and that toot was asleep on my chest.
But no more sleeping for me.

I do not remember being this tired after Maddox.
But Maddox was a great sleeper.
Nor did he have a 2 year old sibling craving my attention when he was sleeping.
And I think I was too anxious to worry about sleep back then.
Or maybe it was just one more thing on my list of things that I cried about...
Either way-- I do not remember this kind of exhaustion.

I look like hell.

I photoshopped the pic of me in the previous post on the couch with the boys asleep in my lap because I looked like I had been in a bar fight.
I know that makes me a fake.
But I don't care.

I have not slept since April 19th.

Remember sleep?
Eight hours of it... in a row.
Or five...
Yeah, I'd take five.

On clean sheets...
in a cool, dark room.

Oh my gah.... Heaven.

I'd choose sleep over a steaming hot bath.
Over the re-opening of KBobs, a feet rub, a Joe T's margarita, a girls night-- a date night-- or tickets to a Mavs playoff game, breakfast at Cracker Barrel, a day of shopping, or a hour having my hair played with.

But what trumps sleep...
is a request by my sweet biscuit for a picnic with his family.

How could I pick a nap over this:

Especially once he told us he loved this picnic...
And that today "was the greatest day of his life"...

I have to admit...
It was pretty nice.
Back inside,
both boys are sleeping...
not yet.

But I have faith that me and the sand man will meet again.
One day.

One bless-ed day.

Until then, I will look like hell.  :)


  1. Awe you're so cute! Now I gotta go back & look @ this photoshopped pic! One day I hope you show off your skills & show the before & after! Sweet picnic pictures! That does look like fun!! Sweet boys you have there!!

  2. Oh, are you doing cloth diapers with Beckham?

  3. no, I'm not... but as many diapers as this little boy goes through, I might should have!
    I really did think about it-- and if I would have done it with Maddox, I would have this time too-- but its a pretty big initial investment... and honestly, it kind of sounds like a headache!! (especially since I hate laundry)
    Did you?

  4. No, I didn't. I just thought by the pic of Bex that his diaper looked bigger than normal, maybe it's just the way he is laying with his legs. I remember Kristen using Cloth Diapers with Kensley and I thought it was a good idea, but then again, too much trouble for me...I'm too on the go for cloth and the daycare won't use them so it was pointless for us.

  5. Oh girl, you look great! I wish I could help you out in the sleep department. I remember going through all of that, and just wishing for 4 or 5 straight hours. That would have been heaven! I feel for you b/c I totally know how hard it is to be that tired. You know it all goes so fast, but that doesn't help at this moment. Hang in there. You have 2 beautiful baby boys to love on!!! :))