Monday, September 30, 2013

wrapping up September

I can't say it enough...
I love fall.

Our weather has somewhat been cooperating with the calender--
and we have had moments of cooler weather.

For that reason alone, I claim this past week to be glorious...
but if we really broke it down,
and dissected the moods around here--
this week has been a lot of work.

I make the weekend schedule for work.
I have to work 2 weekend days each month, and since Lance works on Sundays, I usually schedule both of mine for Saturday.
During soccer season, I gave myself one Saturday and one Sunday for September and October.
Knowing that both days would be hard--
{one I would have to miss a game... (which I have yet to do, thus far)
and the other, have to load us all up-- all stay the night at mom's-- and drive 2 extra hours that day!}

But as luck would have it, all of the rain we had on Friday cancelled the games Saturday morning, so I only have to miss one game this season!

After work, we took our neighbor to the park to play with the boys--
and then a few other neighbors met us at the fields to play catch.

Lance had a double header on Sunday.
Maddox got to play at the park with the bigger kids...

B had to stay with me.

Monday, we played at another park in our neighborhood for a little bit and then came home to tackle the laundry.

And I gave them haircuts...
Which is never really that great of an idea...
And almost always end up more like burs, with at least one person in tears...
But we survived.

And that evening Maddox had soccer practice.

Tuesday was "super".

Wednesday we honored.

Thursday we met Candace and Audrey at Altitude...
There was a little 8 year old boy who Maddox played with the whole time...
Candace and I perfected our synchronized front flips into the foam pit...
And I am pretty sure the babies were there somewhere...
Just kidding!
They had fun too.

Friday was hard.
I was emotional and just felt no good for anyone that day.
I yelled at my kids.
A lot.
My kids fought and bickered and pestered and whined and squalled and cried all day long.
My house was "clean" but I felt like I didn't use my time wisely that day, and it wasn't as clean as it could have been.
None of my pants fit.
My hair looked like shit.
snowball-- roller coaster-- you know the drill.

I drove to Lance's work in tears,
and just wanted a cupcake.

He drove me to Colleyville to Celebrity and as soon as I ate one bite, I changed my mind that I wanted tator tots with cheese.
So we drove to Sonic.

He hopped out to run into the gas station across the street for some Tums and I leaned into his seat to order.
I wasn't quite far enough and I tried to open the door to slide my card and smacked it into the metal ordering thing.
When Lance made it back to me, I was standing outside the card, in a full on sob-- staring at the hunk (all the way down to the shiny metal) it took out of my car.

Lance has never been nor will ever be an aggressive or abrasive man,
so I have no idea why I act like he is going to black my eye, shave my scalp, and hold me under water--
but I was a mess.

He just patted my back and kissed my forehead and said-- "it is just a car babe.  It is not that big of a deal"...

And then I was crying that he was so nice to me, when I didn't deserve it.
And could not get myself under control.


So we went to his game-- I cried while talking to a random stranger--
contemplated smacking the 14 year old who lit up a cigarette next to me--
and was glad to put Friday in the 'done' pile.

Saturday Maddox had a game.
He made 2 goals this week but only one counted and we lost 2-1.
He made me laugh because I thought he was going to be upset about the loss but when I asked him, he simply said, "no.  I knew we were going to lose.  We won last week.", he took a bite out of his cupcake and went on about his jolly way.

We went to Cracker Barrel afterward for breakfast.

There was a couple next to us that Lance could not get over the way the man was inhaling his food-- 1/2 a pancake at a time--  never looking up or speaking a word or breathing for that matter.
I, on the other hand, wanted to cry for the mom-- who wrestled the toddler her entire meal-- maybe got 3 whole bites-- and looked as if she was beyond done.

I told Lance that I wanted to hug her and tell her that it does get better...
but then he reminded me that I spent more than half of our time there in the restroom with Beckham waiting for him to poop-- crying that he couldn't-- telling me to stand outside the door while he kept his hands over his eyes, yelling "don't wook at me!" through the crack, and finally pooping in the diaper I brought.
So it really doesn't get all that much better--
But you do get use to it.

Lance and Josh just scored a catering gig at the minor league hockey place and they had their first one set for Saturday night.
I took call on a whim for a friend who got sick, so the kids and I went to Paradise.

My mom had set up her 2 campers along with a few of her camping buddies for the Paradise Historical Society function and we stopped by and saw them.

One of my best friends from high school was there selling her cookbooks and Nerium and we went down to The Finish Line to visit our old workplace, friend Kendrik, and our first real boss, Rayanne.
If only we could reverse the clock for a few days--
I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

My mom and her friend Joyce let Maddox bid for them in the auction, and he even got to draw for the raffle ticket.
He dug around for a minute and then said, "hold on... I'm looking for my name!"

We also ran into my friend Heather there, and her daughter Maddi and Beckham were insta-friends.
She would grab his hand and pull him from trailer to trailer-- and they would giggle and laugh!

Sunday, I woke up sick as a dog.
Luckily I started feeling better around noon, and we made our way to Godley, Tx to celebrate Katie's 5th birthday...
(and more importantly, chat with my long lost soul sister!)

Today we went back to the small park.
I like that park because no one is ever there,
and sometimes I like to skip small talk and be anti-social.

I also like to look at my phone and I don't want to worry about catching looks from any moms who are 100%, 100% of the time.

We came home and ate lunch outside...
And resumed our normal fighting, bickering and whining schedule.

...And that husband that I was crying adoring tears for 2 days ago, is on my hit-list today and is one more annoying act from a staple to his ear.

Tomorrow is October.
Fall  is officially here. 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

My heart aches

Last week we were getting out to eat at El Fenix and across the parking lot there were a car full of soldiers in fatigues getting in their car to leave.
Maddox was saying, "hurry daddy!" while frantically trying to get out of the car.  He finally broke free and yelled, "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!" across the way.
I did not think that they heard him, but the female in the back seat opened her door and said, "you're welcome" and they pulled away.

It made me proud.
It made him proud.
I think it may have embarrassed Lance a little... but he was proud too.

Maddox has been obsessed with "army soldiers" for a long time....
(remember his favorite Christmas gift a couple of years ago was his Ricky Thibeault figurine that Santa snagged from the Dollar store for a few bucks... and the time that we were on vacation and one got into the elevator with us and left him speechless.)
but he doesn't "get it"...
the whole soldier thing--
what they do, what they stand for, WHO they stand for, what they put on the line, what they give and risk and how little reward they reap.

Honestly, it is a lot to get...
and the whole discussion overwhelms me too.

Exactly one week later, Lance reads me a status from our community's Facebook page.
A mother posted that her son had passed away over the weekend in Afghanistan and she needed rails for a queen size bed so that she could house his family coming in.

He was only 23 years old, a father to 3, and his brother is also a soldier.

Of course it made me a mess of tears.
I just can't imagine the pain.
When I try, I get sucked in to a scary place where I want to control my children's every breath, become overwhelmed, anxious, and just cry.

My heart broke for her.
And for his wife....
and for his 3 young babies...
Into a million pieces.

Immediately people start coming together, to get her the rails and other things through Facebook--
and then more of us chime in and come up with a plan.

Someone was able to get in touch with the Optimist club and borrow one hundred 3X5 American flags, people brought ribbon and beautiful bows, tools, and man power.
A lady donated hundreds of car flags...
The Haslet Volunteer Fire Department brought trucks...
And people came together.

There were men and women and children who had never met, pulling together for a stranger...
Lance needed some tool, and blinked and Buster was there with it.
I needed scissors and someone offered.
Kids had pride in their bows...
people pulled over and asked what they could do....
Everyone wanted to help.

It felt good.


but still good.

After 9:00, hundreds of our neighbors and friends and people that we had never seen before, came back and lined the streets with our cars, flashers and headlights on, and we stood on the edge of the street and waved our flags for them as they made their way from the airport with the rest of their family.

It didn't change their hurt.
And it certainly didn't bring him home...

but it brought people together in his name,
and hopefully it gave them a moment of comfort.

It certainly gave us a moment...
to be grateful...
and humble...
and instill some life lessons in the boys...
and be proud.

Today we went with Lance to drop off a catering.
On the way, we saw a soldier and his family getting out to get frozen yogurt.
Maddox asked us to unlock his window,
he rolled it down and shouted, "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!"
And we smiled.
Today was different...
because yesterday was different.
And hopefully he remembers yesterday for a long time.

We definitely will.

And hopefully I can channel my little Maddox the next time I see a soldier, and thank them too, without reservations... or assuming they know.

They deserve that.

My heart aches for this family...
but is proud of my little community.

You can watch channel 5's take on the story here::
(and you might recognize a sweet boy or two)

Friday, September 20, 2013

We do a lot

Today Maddox and I had to have a "do you know how good you have it" talk??

He's been sassy and entitled lately, and I finally decided that I had been dealt my last sigh.
So today we sat him down and had the talk.

You know, the one where I make him cry by explaining what his day would be like if I worked full-time-- or we skipped all the fun kid-stuff that we do -- about how some kids never get the chance to play sports like soccer-- and then went way over his head by telling him about kids in third world countries without food or shoes.
It worked for about five minutes, and then life resumed.
I realize that it was just a lot of wasted breathing as he will be grown himself before he realizes the sacrifices we take to live the life that we do... 
And though we may not live lavishly,
Lance and I have created a world that revolves around our kids.

Every day, we do our best. 

Last Friday my mom and sister and I took the boys to the dollar movie to see Turbo.
We had never been to that theater,
and it was old and small and not the cleanest theater,
but at a buck twenty-five a piece (and Beckham free),
we will definitely go back!

Saturday Maddox had a soccer game and then my sister came over to watch college football.

Beckham said his first bad word during the Alabama vs A&M game.
I blamed Lance.
Lance blamed crappy calls.
Either way, they both claimed "bullshit"...
and I wasn't pleased. 

Sunday I took Al home.
Mom cooked and the kids did farm things.

We had planned on going to Lance's softball game but I stopped 3 separate times on the way home because B said he was going to "prow up" and I was afraid that  we would be testing our luck!

He never got sick, and once we were home he never mentioned his tummy again.

Monday we went to the Paradise Homecoming Parade.
There are few things my kids love more than hanging out with their cousins...
except maybe catching candy!

We grabbed some food in Boyd on the way home and then ran by Lance's dad's house to say hi.
He is building a shop so the boys were weaving in between the poles, chasing each other, and fighting like UFC.
Lance and his brother were terrible as kids.
Lance's dad was getting a kick out of watching our boys act the same.
He kept asking for hugs and kisses and Maddox would comply but B kept running past as if he couldn't hear him at all.
Finally my FIL asked for a high five instead and Beckham turned around quickly, said "chill fool" and slapped his hand.
I wanted to crawl in a hole but Tony got a good laugh out of it.
...and Lance got another "discussion" on the way home!

Tuesday we cleaned and caught up on laundry.
My boys have simple tasks that they are expected (and excited) to help with.
Like setting the table and putting away some of their laundry.

That started as an idea to develop some responsibility--
but now they love it and want to help sort it too--
which honestly just makes a task that I already dread, double exhausting!

Wednesday Lance was off and we went over to Camp Bowie to look at a potential spot for a new store-- and then over to 8th to see the newest location going up.

We slid over to Softball World and then Sam Moon for mommy a few fun finds too!

Thursday we met our friend Jennifer and her sweet boy, Madden, at a trampoline park in Keller.
It was only $6 for Maddox and B was free, so we might replace our water park trips with bounce days to burn off energy this fall.

We went to Lance's store for lunch afterward--
and to let our little firemen play a little more

We escaped the warehouse full of trampolines with no injuries but Maddox hurt himself that night on the swing-set.
I was on the phone with a patient so I had to run away from him to keep up my professionalism and silently send Lance out the back to the rescue.
We babied the arm for a few minutes but what really got him upset was when I told him that I broke my arm when I was his age.
He curled his lip and tried sucking it up and when Lance asked what was wrong, he said, "I just don't want to think about mommy hurting." and then he really cried. 

And that my friends, is why he owns my heart.

Today it rained.
And against every part of my type A personality,
we played in it.

So there you go Little Maddox...
that was just one week in your tiny little life--
And we do a lot.