Sunday, October 30, 2011

the key to parenting

Sometimes I think the key to parenting
has nothing to do with how much you teach them.
With how many crafts you do together...
with how many cool places you take them...
How much discipline you try and instill...
With how many hugs you give...
or I love yous you say.

Sure, I think that is all important...

but at the end of the day.
I think I have mastered parenting,
on that particular day--
when I know I have made them feel significant.


Not a burden.

Sounds so simple when it is written down...
but often times I try and get my stuff done,
so that we can get on to the fun stuff...
but instead my list gets longer...
I have one more thing to do.
I want some me-time.
I check Facebook, Blogger or Pinterest...
or it is time for work...
and I am hurrying again.
I have to remember that the house can wait...
my chores can wait...
The boys are growing daily.

The entire world will try and knock them down at some point,
and pure-human nature of others will try and tell them who they are suppose to be.

Eventually they will have to conform to what's normal.
To the rules of the rest of the world.
One day they will realize that everyone in the world doesn't see exactly what I do.

For now they are mine.
To mold and love and adore.

I have 3 years left, before Maddox goes to school.
Though we are poor, I am so thankful that I get to be here and spend my days with the boys.
And Lance is here, when I am not.

For us, this works.
It isn't the best plan for everyone....
I am simply just reminding myself what's important.
Right now.

I will never have this job down perfect.
But the fact that I think this much about it
or care to improve,
has to mean something.

And at the end of the day....
Every single day...
I hope my boys know that they are amazingly-wonderfully-unconditionally-individually-loved.

And in my opinion, that is they key to parenting.

Thursday, October 27, 2011


Beckham is six months old.
Where has time gone?

I honestly feel like he should be 2 months old... maybe 4... but definitely not six?!?!

Here is where we are at within the last month::
  • His belly scooting has progressed to full-fledged army crawling and he is all over the house.  Room to room... you won't lose that boy!
  • He can drive the jeep [walker] like it is stolen.  Back and forward... whip it around corners... and maneuver it through the hall around the trunk.
  • He is a chunk.  A grade-A fatty-patty.  He is still mostly munching on booby milk but we have introduced many foods to him and cereal is still the only one he refuses.  [I have all the supplies to make my own baby food, I am just a bit over-whelmed by the idea at this point so he either eats off of our plate or from good 'ol Gerber, thus far]
  • He gets on to his hands and knees and rocks, so we know he is close, however-- he has not mastered 'real' crawling yet.
  • He can sign 'milk' and Maddox is working hard to teach him 'mommy' and 'daddy' in sign language also.
  • You know he is tired when he starts rolling like a crocodile.  He likes to be placed in his crib... on his belly... binky in mouth... snuggy by his face... and left alone.  [although sometimes I fight him just to pacify my need to snuggle a sleeping baby from time to time]
  • He really only takes a binky when he is sleeping... or very tired.  And he is specific to one special binky from my friend Chanda.  [which just so happens to cost over $5 a piece]
  • He smiles a lot and laughs a lot too.  Although his laugh sounds more like snorting.  
  • He loves to take baths and splash around.
  • He adores his big brother.
  • He is wearing 9 month and some 12 month clothes!!
  • We just had to buy diapers for the first time (the nice thing about the 2nd one is the amount of diapers you get as gifts) and he wears a size 3.  He pees so much however, I have to fork up the money for Pampers or else he pees out onto his pjs.  [$50 for a case!!]
  • He still refuses to sleep longer than 3 hours at night.  His mommy hasn't slept in 6 months.  She's tired.
  • He loves to look at himself in the mirror.
  • He will get whip-lash at the sound of my voice.  Definitely a mommy's boy.
My 3 year old.

Obviously doesn't change month to month... and I don't want to keep repeating his letter sounds, and spelling his name, etc... so I'll give you a few Maddox-isms.
  • When I am leaving for work each day, he stands in the garage-- waves-- and yells, "remember me!" over-dramatically as if it were a scene in Titanic.
  • He recently told Lance he was about to head north to the south pole.
  • I hear myself in him when he answers me with, "absolutely" or "fantastic". 
  • The neighbor-boy told us he was going to be Justin Beiber for Halloween and Maddox proudly told him he was going to be Gnomeo.  A few days later, while laying in bed, Maddox said, "I still don't know why Robby wants to be a fever?"
  • He is a fabulous magician.  I should post a video... "ladies and gentlemen, boys and grills..."
  • I will be sad when he says 'girls' correctly.  Or when he pronounces his Ls as the L sound, rather than W.  Or when 'yesterday' stops sounding like "yeestherday".
  • His favorite color is green.  And his favorite number is 3.  [just like Daddy's]
  • Everyday, when he gets a fruit snack, he saves a red one for Lance.  Usually he doesn't even say anything about it, I will just see it on Lance's nightstand or next to his cap.  He is a big-time daddy's boy right now.
  • He got his first watch yesterday. [Lance is a shoe watch freak] It is Toy Story.  [anyone who knows my hatred of character-stuff, knows this is big. I even looked at a pair of Yo Gabba Gabba Vans yesterday... they are only little once, right?!  I am slowly letting go!]
  • I have to share this painting Maddox did a couple of weeks ago.  I posted it on FB, but I wanted to share here.  Maddox was painting along, and he said, "Oh man, I messed it up."  I replied, "no you didn't buddy, it looks perfect" to which he responded, "momma... [paused sadly] I made Woody look like Dora."   --Touche'  

      Wednesday, October 26, 2011

      Weekend update [on a Wednesday]

      The airshow was canceled.
      Which was good.

      We needed the rest.

      Friday we stayed the night at mom's.
      We got there late but that didn't stop the non-stop playing between the kiddos.

      Pop made breakfast and then took the big kids all over the land the next day on the golf cart...
      You know they ate it up.

      And Beckham got some lovey-time with Gigi.
      And watch the big kids go 90-to-nothing.

      I worked Saturday morning, ran for diapers and then rushed back to mom's to scoop up my babies and get to Haslet.

      Because Saturday, Lance had the opportunity to mark off something from his bucket list.

      Go to a World Series game.

      To make it even better...
      It was his team playing.
      And besides the folks who went for free, somehow...
      he had the cheapest seat in the house.
      Probably the most comfortable seat too.
      All he could eat, or drink.
      On a balcony in center field.
      Fifty bucks.
      He was dropped off by his beautiful wife ;) and picked up by his sweet sister-in-law, so he could devour responsibly.

      He was so ency, nervous and excited on our drive in...
      I don't know that I have seen him like that since our wedding day.
      (I honestly think the birth of our children was less nerve-racking)

      I would venture to call it one of the greatest days of his life...
      But they lost.
      It was his red shirt's fault.
      He knew it.

      Back at home, Maddox and I watched for daddy on tv.
      We made cookies...
      My cousin Amber came over.  [yay for being neighbors!]
      And I transformed my little Maddox-- into the character he has been asking to be for months.

      I literally rented the movie from Red Box, one night, during our moving process 3 months ago.
      He watched it twice.
      Never talked about it anymore.

      Until we started asking what he wanted to be for Halloween...
      and then consistently, he has said Gnomeo.

      The purchase-able costumes were red.
      Maddox would tell me...
      "that's not Gnomeo, he's blue."
      So what's a girl to do??  Turn to hot glue.
      I think I made out cheaper any who...

      And it is cute.  [enough]

      I am still trying to decide if Beckham is going to be a gnome too...
      or if he will be a bear.
      (a costume we have on hand from when Maddox was a baby)

      Last night, I let my baby boy go to a fall festival at church with my Aunt Missy.
      I'm a bit of a helicopter mom, so this is big.

      I had to work, or I would have been right along beside them.

      But from what I hear, he and Kyleigh (my cousin Amber's daughter) had a blast!

      Today, we are going to Dallas to pick up our 2 night, 3 day FREE stay at Great Wolfe Lodge.
      [after being beat down by a 90 minute spill]
      Worth it though, I hope.
      I talked my husband into this...
      It better be worth it or I will never hear the end of it!

      Friday, October 21, 2011

      simple friday

      Today we just took it easy.
      [aka:: I avoided laundry like the plague!]  ;)

      Maddox and I made lunch together...
      [he eats so much better when he helps prepare it]

      The quiet is soon to be ending however, because we have big plans for the weekend!

      We are staying the night with my mom tonight...
      [tomorrow is my weekend-day to work, mom keeps the boys while I go in for those few hours]

      And my brother's kids are coming over too...
      [also spending the night... they will have so much fun playing together:: I still cherish the memories of playing with my cousins.]

      Tomorrow Lance is going to the World Series...
      [I am so excited for him to mark this off of his bucket list... I will most likely spend my night doing laundry, but it doesn't change my excitement for him]

      It is also Beckham's 1/2-way-to-one day!
      [6 months already?!  ...I better do a milestone update]

      Sunday we are going to the Alliance Airshow.
      [watching comfortably from the Bell Helicopter tent... without Lance, who could not get off of work... but with the extra hands of my parents.  Because Lord knows, I'd never dare it alone!]

      Hope your weekend is fantastic!

      Wednesday, October 19, 2011

      Pumpkin patch 2011


      While I was out

      I have anxiety.
      I have had it my whole life.
      Like as far back as I can remember.
      Most times I control it...
      and other times it controls me.

      The last couple of weeks [simply put] have kicked my ass.

      Just the thought of hopping on Blogger and expressing my feelings did me in.
      Honestly, everything did me in.

      It is one of those things that I know if I can just get on top of it..
      I can stop it.
      But the climb is difficult.

      It isn't really crying that I do (although I do some too...)
      but it is more that ball of air that builds below my sternum-- spreads into my arms-- and burns into my cheeks.

      Mostly it is the things that will probably never happen that attack my mind...
      But real stuff too:
      Like the microphone (with the 3 foot cord) that Maddox tossed into the crib with Beckham while he was napping... and I found wrapped around B's mid-section a few minutes later...
      or Maddox, darting towards the driveway as Lance came home from work, completely out of character for my cautious boy...
      Beckham shoving a artificial- flower petal into his mouth, and me realizing just how mobile he is and just how many tiny toys Maddox has...
      My biggest fears, right before my eyes-- the 'what-ifs'
      those things that I would never, nor could ever, forgive myself for if 'worse-case-scenario' were to happen...
      the things I could prevent...
      The control freak in me drowning my mind.

      Over everything.

      A crumbled cupcake on my freshly mopped floor...
      and the look of sadness my baby had in his eyes when I reacted.
      The mirror of myself when I was his age...
      had me crying hours later.

      Each time I would work myself right up to the top of the mountain--
      I would slip back down again.

      I am tired.

      Beckham doesn't sleep.

      Sleep is vital.

      I am consciously trying to win.
      And I feel a little better the last couple of days.

      I have good friends and an understanding mom.
      For that, I am thankful.

      My husband finally noticed my threads falling apart...
      or maybe it was my untouched house, yesterday, that tuned him in.
      But he cleaned up, fed and prepared the boys for bed last night.
      And gave me a break.

      It was nice.
      (and it was even nicer to see his frustration every time his perfect house was messed again... and again... and again... yet another mirror of myself, and sometimes never-ending days)

      Today we took our annual trip to the Flower Mound Pumpkin Patch.
      It was a good day.

      Tonight, Beckham snuggled in my lap, nursed, and fell asleep in my arms.
      He is such a busy body,
      it almost felt like a reward.

      I will post an entire post about our day,
      But for now, I will catch you up on our week...
      [via the pics stored in my camera]

      Last Thursday Lance hosted an assembly at the Elementary school for Fire Prevention Week.
      He did very well,
      and I took our boys up to watch.
      We had a great time.

      I have talked about this before but I am not sure I shared the recipe.
      [I promise I feed my family healthy stuff too.  Some times.]
      Try it.

      Sunday night, we spent the last bit of daylight outside-- enjoying this lovely fall weather with the neighbors.
      There are a ton of little boys within a few houses from us.
      They had fun.

      Back inside, me and the little chef made cupcakes.
      Chocolate for daddy.
      Vanilla for mommy.
      Both for Maddox.

      Monday we finger painted...
      and hung our art work on the play room wall.
      Maddox surprised me when he told me red and yellow made orange.
      It may have been luck though, because when I asked what blue and yellow make [green is his favorite color], he mater-of-factly responded with purple.

      Caught up through today...

      The boys enjoyed their day at the pumpkin patch...

      And tonight, Maddox (the little chef) helped me make chicken and dumplings...
      And together we watched the Ranger game.
      Rangers lost.
      But this was just game 1.

      We've got this!  ;)

      Wednesday, October 12, 2011

      mama said there'd be days like this

      We were suppose to go to the pumpkin patch today.
      It rained,
      the pumpkin patch closed.

      Beckham fed 3 times last night.
      One time refusing to go back to sleep.
      For an hour.
      Lance sleeps good in the rain. 
      [insert sarcastic font]
      My house is a mess.
      I cleaned it last night.

      There are 3 baskets of clean clothes sitting in my chair right now.
      I know they will sit there until I decide to do them.
      My husband vacuums...
      and rarely neglects to load the dishwasher--
      but laundry doesn't hit his radar.

      Nor does picking up a crying baby during dinner.
      I know,
      because I ate lunch with a curious baby in my lap--
      ripping off my phone, my napkin, and whatever else he could touch, to the ground.
      Like I always do.

      I am starting to despise restaurant dining.

      Maddox sat almost perched on my shoulder, and only ate his fries.
      And then cried when I took them away offering the deal, "one bite of grilled cheese for one french fry"

      We both won [or lost] because he ate 3 small bites... got 3 more small fries, and then just decided he'd have chocolate milk for lunch.

      Back home, both boys bruised their right eyes.
      Different episodes.
      Both cried and needed mommy kisses.

      Yearning for a break, I sat down to blog.
      But not without 4 questions from my husband.
      Separate questions.
      None were important.
      But obviously more important than whatever I was doing.

      The last one was answered with a huff and angry response.
      He told me, "just go back to blogging" as if I don't deserve this time, "or leave".

      So I did.
      I left.
      45 minutes early.
      To breathe.
      I mean, work.

      Stopped by to get my tire filled up,
      went to leave and the little icon was still orange.
      And now my car says that all 4 tires have zero air pressure.
      They're full.

      Finally made it to work...
      Where I walked into a grunting baby- barely prefusing oxygen, a waiting room smelling like fire, and my book, The Wednesday Letter, still unopened because I ran my tail off my entire shift.

      The maintenance man said there was no fire...
      but a belt had slipped off, and that's where the smell was coming from.

      I still made it out by 8:00.

      Back home, my husband is pretending we didn't have a texting war,
      and is trying to be my friend.
      But I am my mother's child,
      and am giving one hell of a silent treatment.

      Kind of.
      I've thrown up grease from my Kincaids BLT and fried okra.
      And it wasn't silent.

      The boys are now in bed.
      [Beckham better sleep]
      The Rangers won.
      Modern Family made me laugh.
      And tomorrow's a new day.

      I can say all these things about my husband...
      because despite me wanting to jab his eyes out,
      I love him.
      And these crazy- jacked up days.

      Because they're mine.

      Mama says there'd be days like this.
      There'd be days like this, my momma says!

      Sunday, October 9, 2011

      the weekend

      I was on call.
      It wasn't bad,
      and the boys participated well.

      I made Tomato Basil Soup for dinner.
      The cheaters version.
      And Italian grilled cheese.

      This is the easiest thing in the world to make...
      no where near healthy,
      but incredibly good.  

      In case you care, here is a 10 minute dinner.
      1 large Ragu (chunky), 1/2 of the heavy whipping cream, and about a TBSP Italian seasonings.
      [I cooked frozen meatballs in the oven for Lance to add to his]
      butter your bread just like you would for a regular grilled cheese except sprinkle a little garlic salt and Italian seasoning on it and use smoked provolone in the middle.
      [You could definitely use fancy bread or whatever cheese you like.]
      Whip the other 1/2 carton of heavy whipping cream in your good ol kitchenaid, add sugar until sweet.
      Finely chop a snicker and chunk up a green apple.
      [you will thank me]

      Friday night ran late.
      My sister came over and we stayed up until 1:00am,
      organizing and pricing for our community garage sale.
      Beckham was up at 2:00 and 5:00 to feed.
      Our alarm was set for 6:00 to rock and roll.

      Garage sale. 
      --garage smell.
      It was a bust.

      We only made about $150 between us and my sister.
      I have said before that I am no garage sale specialist, but I think we priced everything low.
      kids shirts and onesies: 50 cents
      Kids pants $1
      adult shirts $1-$2
      dresses and jeans $3

      I am not cut out for the sport because I take it all so personal.
      I take care of my stuff.
      I have nice things.
      I have memories of my babies in these outfits or playing with these toys...
      No one cares.

      I literally gave things away because it made me feel better than to take the insult in pay.
      maybe that's why we didn't make anything?!
      Now this little tyke...
      I gave him that guitar because he was too cute!!
      He wanted it and his momma told him no...
      I said yes!
      And I got a hug  and a smile for it!!
      [I asked for this picture for my blog]

      I bet I re-folded the clothes 18 times.
      A group ran off with our coats.
      It was such a hassle.

      Lance was big help with the garage sale--
      right up until the game came on.
      And he left me with Allison...
      who will always keep me laughing,
      [she found Lance's old autographed-party-hat!]
      but would literally sell my car for 50 cents if it was offered.

      I think in the future, I will just work a Saturday morning in the office--
      About the same money for far less work and aggravation! 

      We wrapped things up around 1:00
      and layed down for a family nap.

      Maddox had played hard since early in the morning with the neighbor boys,
      and my aunt came by and took him to chickfila for lunch.
      He needed a nap.
      We all did.

      4:00 we left for Lance's work picnic.
      We had such a great time!
      I won a set of drinking glasses in Bingo,
      Maddox, a set of Crayola finger paint. [which have already found the top of the closet]
      There were BBQ, door prizes, a balloon toss, trail riding, bounce houses, petting zoo, carnival-type games,  pony rides, punt-pass-and-kick contests... and much more..

      We stayed in bed until 10:30.
      Lance went and got us donuts.
      [you know it is true-love, when he never neglects a 2nd stop for your Hershey bar!]
      I made lettuce wraps for lunch and am excited about our plans for nothing today.
      There isn't anything in my book that tops no plans and being home. 
      With my family.
      On the couch.



      Trying to ignore the mess Maddox is making.

      Football on the tv...

      Rain outside the window.

      Cool weather, and lots of snuggling.

      Unfortunately it is a bye week for the Cowboys and our TX Rangers were postponed.

      But we will make do!

      Hope you had a great weekend.