have you heard this before?

Thursday it happened again...
I found out my job is changing.

I may get less hours, maybe more, maybe the same, maybe none at all.
No one knows.

My October schedule is still not up...
[And it is October 2nd.]

Unfortunately, my job is a bit of a lottery.
All of it.

I spent Thursday night crumbling.

Hating that I love this company so much--

scared to think about the changes that we will most likely have to make.
Pissed off at the people who are making me miserable.

I hate change.
My schedule works perfect for my family.
I really like my job.
What are we going to do?


Lance says to let him worry about it...
which I think might be his way to say: chill
But I don't even think it is the fear of losing my job that works me over so...
It is the unknown.
I am an admitted control freak::
Just give me an answer.  Now.  I deserve that.

Tomorrow is my 6 year anniversary there, too...

happy anniversary!  {insert sarcastic font}

Friday, I put my negative-energy into cleaning power.
Floor to ceiling.
sweep, mop, dust, wash, dry, scrub.
Windows up...
New plugs-in in;
house smelling like pine-sol, bleach and fall.

I picked up call Friday evening-- which can make me a little ugly.
Okay, really ugly.
I still managed dinner.
And Lance who always cleans up after dinner (without me asking) didn't.
I left it too.

Saturday I woke up mad.
The house, that I had busted my butt on the day before, already looked untouched.
Beckham cried non-stop.
Maddox never stopped talking, or following me.
Lance was at work.

I cried.

Mainly over the house, job, kids, husband...
but also because I knew I was being a monster,
and honestly could. not. stop.

Last night we went to dinner with the Morelands.
[remember my-friend-Wendy?!  --my maid of honor]
We always have the best time with them...
and they came back to our house [ice cream shakes in hand] until after 11:00, chatting.
but most of all, laughing.

I woke up in a much better mood today.
Which was needed.

Today was Katie-bug's 3rd birthday party!!
My friend Amanda [remember her-- my adulteress] lives an hour away.
Katie is her daughter.
I [in true Holly fashion] got lost and turned it into an hour and 45 minute trip to her house.
[nope, I have been to her house many-many times... as recently as 3 weeks ago, actually]
We had fun.
The party was great...
Having friend time was refreshing.
and needed.

Tomorrow I'll deal with work.
Which is literally all I can do.
Especially after I received an email tonight at dinner with my schedule.
For tomorrow.
That's it.

I hate that my career is a day by day gig at this point...
but sulking about it is only making me a bad wife and an inpatient mom,
and a loud person.

And no one deserves that.
Especially not these two sweet things!

Here's to it all working out.
Again.