Sunday, October 2, 2011

have you heard this before?

Thursday it happened again...
I found out my job is changing.

I may get less hours, maybe more, maybe the same, maybe none at all.
No one knows.

My October schedule is still not up...
[And it is October 2nd.]

Unfortunately, my job is a bit of a lottery.
All of it.

I spent Thursday night crumbling.
Hating that I love this company so much--
scared to think about the changes that we will most likely have to make.
Pissed off at the people who are making me miserable.
I hate change.
My schedule works perfect for my family.
I really like my job.
What are we going to do?

Lance says to let him worry about it...
which I think might be his way to say: chill
But I don't even think it is the fear of losing my job that works me over so...
It is the unknown.
I am an admitted control freak::
Just give me an answer.  Now.  I deserve that.

Tomorrow is my 6 year anniversary there, too...
happy anniversary!  {insert sarcastic font}

Friday, I put my negative-energy into cleaning power.
Floor to ceiling.
sweep, mop, dust, wash, dry, scrub.
Windows up...
New plugs-in in;
house smelling like pine-sol, bleach and fall.

I picked up call Friday evening-- which can make me a little ugly.
Okay, really ugly.
I still managed dinner.
And Lance who always cleans up after dinner (without me asking) didn't.
I left it too.

Saturday I woke up mad.
The house, that I had busted my butt on the day before, already looked untouched.
Beckham cried non-stop.
Maddox never stopped talking, or following me.
Lance was at work.

I cried.

Mainly over the house, job, kids, husband...
but also because I knew I was being a monster,
and honestly could. not. stop.

Last night we went to dinner with the Morelands.
[remember my-friend-Wendy?!  --my maid of honor]
We always have the best time with them...
and they came back to our house [ice cream shakes in hand] until after 11:00, chatting.
but most of all, laughing.

I woke up in a much better mood today.
Which was needed.

Today was Katie-bug's 3rd birthday party!!
My friend Amanda [remember her-- my adulteress] lives an hour away.
Katie is her daughter.
I [in true Holly fashion] got lost and turned it into an hour and 45 minute trip to her house.
[nope, I have been to her house many-many times... as recently as 3 weeks ago, actually]
We had fun.
The party was great...
Having friend time was refreshing.
and needed.

Tomorrow I'll deal with work.
Which is literally all I can do.
Especially after I received an email tonight at dinner with my schedule.
For tomorrow.
That's it.

I hate that my career is a day by day gig at this point...
but sulking about it is only making me a bad wife and an inpatient mom,
and a loud person.

And no one deserves that.
Especially not these two sweet things!

Here's to it all working out.


  1. prayers your way, Holly. You are a tough and strong person. Even if things don't turn out exactly how you'd like...they will turn out just the way they are supposed to, and hopefully for the better for you!! If it makes you feel any better, I'm at work this morning and just realized I forgot to brush my teeth before I left. I'm beyond embarrassed and self conscious now. (chewing gum) LOL

  2. Oh..EM..Gee!!! Casey!! I just laughed out loud!!! HILARIOUS!!!

  3. If your life is anything like mine, it will all work out - it always does. Things might be stressful for a little while and not go exactly as planned, but you just have to let go and put it all in HIS hands. Try not to stress yourself out {I know, easier said than done} and just soak up those sweet boys' smiles and laughs! You will be in my prayers, Holly.

  4. I'm so sorry about your job situation. I know the crazy amount of stress that can bring. I take a lot of my stress out on those that I love and then I feel like I want to run away. I know how you are feeling, and I hope things improve, soon!

    Love the pictures.

    ps. I totally get about the house being clean, then dirty in the blink of an eye. It's never ending!