Friday, December 31, 2010

I pooped today.

My mom told me that I have not blogged enough about this pregnancy...
But I don't know that there's a lot to talk about... just yet.

If I'm honest, at times it is forgetable.
In translation; it is easy.

I usually have to look at my calender to remember what week mark we are in.
(We will be 25 weeks on Monday-- I just looked)
I knew down to the day with Maddox.
I even had to look up my due date the other day!!

In the last 2 weeks, stranger-comments have changed.
It was: "you're pregnant?!"
Or if I said I was having a boy: "You already know what you are having?  You aren't even showing!"

"look at that bump!"
And even, "you ready to have that baby?"

Seriously, in two weeks.
I am now officially showing.

I don't mind the bump.
I like it better than the mid-ground...
I love how Lance rubs it alot.
It makes me feel pretty and secure.
You know the feeling when your husband puts his hand on the small of your back when you are entering the room...
I think it is an equivalent feeling.

I love that Maddox is still a bit confused on the whole idea...
He tries to pour water in my belly button during our bath because "he's thirsty!"
and the other day he went and got a spoon to cover my belly button because "he was hiding!"

I love being pregnant.
It is just so easy on me.

He kicks a lot.
Typically at night.
He is most active between midnight and 1:00 am.
Luckily I am a night owl,
so most nights I enjoys his little movements.

I have nothing to complain about...
Well, except the poop.
I still can't go....
It drives me crazy.
I don't think it is a bad as my last pregnancy... because I haven't cried about it yet.
But it isn't comfortable, either.
I pooped today.
It is kind of a big deal! 

I already love this little boy.
Who is 90% named...
(but we still aren't sharing until its 100%)

I am 100% that we will be going with this: bedding
I really wanted it with Maddox, but I talked myself out of it because it is very baby-ish and I wanted something more toddler-friendly...
The truth of the matter is, Maddox is now a toddler and I am already over his bedding...
So I might as well go with my original choice.

I am ready to back in our Haslet home, solely so I can start the nursery.
It was already started by this point with Maddox.
The second is just different.
Though different, this boy will be equally as loved.

Although, sometimes I still wonder if it is really a girl.
[Or maybe I fantasize it.]
My food cravings are so different this pregnancy.
I want sweets.

I'm happy about another penis in our house,
really, I am.....
I can't imagine Maddox being a girl.
I wouldn't change him a bit--
and I definitely would not want him to be a her...
He is perfect.

And Baby Boy E will be too.

I think I mourned the loss of the hair bow.
And leggings.
And rhinestones.

9 days out of 10, it doesn't effect me...
but randomly, I will see a petite little girl with long, dark, shiny hair and I instantly swell with tears.

Next time.

And there will be a next time.

Nothing pisses me off more than when people try to tell me why I shouldn't have more.
Typically it comes from people who only have 2 kids.
I wonder if it is because that is what they know-- it is what they are comfortable with--
or because maybe subconsciously they are jealous.  They wish they had more?

I think it blows my mind, because I have to wonder why folks feel entitled to share on something that effects them in zero ways...
I don't make my child other people's priority.... my mom keeps him 2 nights a week while I work and if any any point she said she could not do that any more we would develop another plan....
And if she has something else going on... we do figure it out!

I have left Maddox over night less than 5 times...
And he is almost 2 1/2 years old.
Lance and I have had 2 date nights since his birth.
No one has ever paid my bills...
We don't depend on state help...
It rocks my world that people feel that they can give me their unwanted opinions on the matter.
We are good people.
Maddox is a good boy.
We parent well.
Why stop here?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Christmas 2010

Lance's step dad lost his very short battle to brain cancer last week.
He was a huge fisherman and chose to be cremated and his ashed spread in the waters that he had fished his entire life.
The ceremony, on the water was scheduled for this Thursday.
(The Eve of Christmas Eve)

Lance and I crawled into bed about 1:30 Wednesday night-- after our first Christmas celebration at Lance's granny's house, putting together and wrapping all the gifts, packing our bags, setting Maddox up for a couple of nights with his Gigi and re-dosing our sick baby with more ibuprofen....

4:00am I woke up with horrible abdominal pain.
I was crying and rolling around as if I was in labor... crouching up on the toilet like a gargoyle... and finally vomiting all over the bathroom floor.
Lance got up and got me a bucket, and he ran me bath water in which I hopped in and out of for the next hour or so, every 20 minutes, with horrible diarrhea.
It was pure misery.
We had to pull out of our house by 6:00am to get Maddox to my mom and meet Lance's sister for the 5 hour journey, and I thought there was no way I could make it.
I hated bailing out on the trip...
I really hated not being there for Lance during this difficult time.
But I didn't feel like I had another option.

Lance re-dosed Maddox, moved him to my bed and headed out.
Wouldn't you know I did not have even one more episode once Lance left.
But I got some needed sleep.

Now Maddox, on the other hand, became more ill.
I was sure that it started as croup.
Like typical croup, he would perk up during the day, but at nightfall the barky cough and fever would return.  (up to 104, at the highest)
On Thursday, however, the fever stayed with him during the day as well.
Mom and I ended up taking him to the doctor.
Dr Guthrie really thought he had the flu but his test was negative.
She diagnosed him with a virus and a slight ear infection in his right ear.
She said with the amount of snot he was producing, it would be full blown before the weekend was over so she started him on some Amoxil.
She called it! By that night, his right eye was gouping up on that right side and his fever was rising.
(At this point I was glad I stayed home, my sickly-boy needed his mommy)

Despite the disgusting, now wet, cough.
5 days of fever...
And Lance hours away, on hardly any sleep...
We managed to have a fabulous Christmas!!

Maddox and I talked a lot this holiday season about Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas.
On our way to Nana's house, in the car, we had a serious discussion about this birthday party that we throw for Jesus.
I explained to Maddox that Jesus' mommy had a baby in her tummy too, just like his mommy and had him in a barn, like Papaw's barn.
(then we listed animals that would live in a barn)
I could tell his wheels were spinning... so I went back to talking about the celebration...
I explained that we get to enjoy all of the lights and food and presents because Christmas is really a big birthday party for Jesus...
We sat in silence for a minute or two, and then he responded, "We're going to need a lot of party hats!!"
I will miss this age of inosence.
And pure honesty.
I will be sad when the magic of the season is gone.
This was by far my most favorite Christmas ever... nothing brings my heart more happiness than to see my son experience such pure joy!!
If he said "wooooowww" in a whisper-completely shocked voice, once... he said it a thousand times!!
And he was great to tell everyone thank you.

We celebrated our first Christmas at Lance's Granny Earlene's with his dad's family Wednesday night.
His granny moved it so that we could all attend since we were going to be out of town for Kenneth's memorial.
Unfortunately, I left my camera at home.  :(

We celebrated Christmas Eve at Nana's house...
She even let me in on her 'secret stash' of divinity in the back of the pantry.
I ate the entire stash.
Maddox was on his 5th day of fever, so he wasn't on his best behavior...
but unwrapping his BUZZ LIGHTYEAR and his Toy Story pjs rocked his world!!

Then on to Mamaw's and Meme's house Christmas Eve night...
Maddox loved his firetruck from them!
And they both really loved their gifts from us!

My poor husband had gotten very little sleep in 2 days and really wanted to crash out on me...
And my sweet son was so hyped on junk food and excitement that he refused to go to sleep.
I treated his runny nose with a little Benadryl, and he slipped off into sleep about 10:45 or 11:00.

Once the coast was clear, Santa went to setting things up....
But not without a few arguments between him and the Mrs.!! 

Maddox crawled into our bed about 6:00am... and though I knew I should remind him that Santa had come, I chose to take advantage of more sleep instead!!
9:00, we all awoke to come see what he got!

(Mrs. Claus was such a deal finder this year... I was so proud of her frugal-ness!!)

My parents came over to see what Maddox got and then we bundled up to go see my brother's new house!

A BIG breakfast at mom's, a hot bath in her over-sized tub with my bucket-o-snot (Maddox), and a nice winter nap with my sister, was just what the doctor ordered!
We woke up in time to change clothes, help mom finish up our Mexican dinner, and start tearing through paper once again!

Maddox never took a nap Christmas Day, because the excitement of the day completely interfered...
So by 9:00 he was crying asking if he could go home...
"He just wanted to see his Santa Clause toys..."
He ended up crawling in Lance's lap and falling asleep.
We watched a movie as a family, and headed home around midnight.

I signed up to work the 26th (like an idiot)....
I was tired, but we weren't busy.
And the big plus: Lance straightened up the Christmas after-math for me!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A change of pace

A friend of mine posted this video to Facebook earlier.
Selfishly, I refused to watch it just because I knew it would take a lot out of me.

I have had periods of my life where I felt anxiety was controlling my thoughts and fears...
Luckily, during this pregnancy, I have been rather un-excitable.
But after I saw people commenting about needing 2 boxes of Kleenex to get through this song, I decided to wait.
Pregnant hormones + tearful Christmas video = disaster, I was afraid.

I feel like becoming a mother, fulfilled my greatest wish in life.
I think that I was called to be Maddox's mommy and I serve that calling with great honor....
I have faith that I can do the same for our second baby.
And third and forth, if that is where we are led.

However, sometimes when I look at my sweet little Maddox, with eyes the size of apples, I wonder why I set myself up for the type of heart ache that could potentially come my way.

And now I am having another?
I am increasing my odds!!

God forbid, God forbid, something ever happen to one of my children-- but now that I prepare to be the parent to more than just one soul, that changes the game.
That means, again GOD FORBID, if worst-case-scenario were to occur-- I couldn't lay down and die because another baby (or babies) would be depending on me...

What are we doing????
What pressure?!

I finally decided to watch this video, and I thought I would share it.

I pray, I pray, I pray, that I never find myself in the shoes of these folks...
I. am. not. strong. enough. to survive.
God hear me....
I can not handle this type of heart ache.

However their story is heartwarming and deserves to be shared.
Grab your Kleenex!
(and put down your bowl of cereal, I choked on my frosted flakes!)

Friday, December 17, 2010

ICE and other fun!

Wednesday was full of fun...

From the "super donuts" we had for breakfast:
(The first time Maddox had these, he called them "power donuts"-- because that's what he thought Lance and I were saying...  this time, when I pulled out the bag, I guess he couldn't remember the name and 'super' was the closest thing to 'power' that he could come up with!) 
Even if they made a little mess...
We cleaned it up and continued with the fun!

We left the house by 9:00 (we typically sleep until 10:00-- so getting up by 7:30 was rough) to have time to "shop" before Lance's luncheon.
(Shop is in quotes, because we went to Good Wills and thrift stores-- looking for tacky Christmas attire for this Saturday.)
Apparently, Good Will, on Wednesdays, in Denton.... is the place to be.
It was packed. 
A lady in scrubs chased me to my car telling me that if I brought Maddox and another toddler to their dentist office, I could get a free adult cleaning.... WHAT?!?!
I wanted to take pictures of people and the array of crap they were buying... but I thought it was rude.
I am not at all saying I am above used things-- heck, Lance and I have bought some of our friends some of their greatest birthday presents from there-- I just have a huge fear of scabies and I get really itchy just thinking about it!
I saw a 60ish year old woman in a tummy-top sweater, buying a music stand and a book about corvettes.
I saw a Chinese man buying a grocery cart full of books.  I am talking like 100 books.
I saw used underwear for sell.
And I had to talk Lance out of this God-awful kitten lamp, that he just knew Luke would love.
(Notice its dirty feet)
Don't worry, he found a great sweatshirt instead.
Lance went to his luncheon at noon and we were on our way to our doctors appointment by 1:00.
We were about 5 minutes late, but no one cared.
"Baby B" is very active and is growing great!
I measured a week big, (at 23 weeks) and I weighed 135. 
I now have surpassed my beginning weight with Maddox.  :(
I was ready for it though, this was the appointment where I gained 8 pounds last time...
I ran to Hulen mall for a toboggan for my bee-bop and off to Grapevine we went.

ICE at the Gaylord was AWESOME.
The decorations in the hotel are beautiful...  

The hotel decorations were elaborate, but did not compete at all with the 2 MILLION pounds of carved ice in the 9 degree room.  (14,000 square foot room!)

Ellie and Gunner are so sweet and Maddox plays with them so well.
Gunner and Maddox acted 2... wild... and were boys to their core... (hence Maddox hanging upside down like a monkey and Gunner's tears) but I wouldn't want it any other way!

The babies slid down the ice slide probably 10 times each... By the time we reached the end, their tiny noses and cheeks were as red as they could be... Randi's toes were killing her in her paper thin flats... And despite my North Face gloves, my fingers felt like they were falling off!  We were all dripping snot...
But it didn't change the amount of fun we had!


We drove through downtown Grapevine to see the decorations there, and watch the dancing lights!

(I apologize for such a crummy picture-- that tree had a face made of lights, that sang too)
We ate at El Fenix and then ran to Grapevine Mills, for one last chance to find a tacky sweater.
I ended up getting a not-so-Christmas outfit... but a Christmas pin will doll it up in no time!

The highlight of our shopping trip was at Motherhood.
I went in to get a couple of long-sleeve shirts and came out with these!!

It is no secret that I love quality denim.
And we got a killer deal on these Hudsons!

Lance threw them over the door, while I was trying on my t-shirts, and they were actually long enough!
And they were on the 50% rack!!!

Discounted to $120...  :(

Apparently only short, bigger people get pregnant... NO ONE makes long lengths in maternity-- to get longer lengths, you have to go bigger in size... or buy the straight leg- simple wash.  To go trendy and long-- you have to pay a jillion dollars and go designer!
And though I think good jeans are a good investment-- something you will wear a lot-- and are sure to get your money out of... I will only be pregnant 4 more months.
I put them back.

Lance bought me a pair of jeans when I was pregnant with Maddox that were quite expensive but it was a sweet-husband-moment... I had tried on 64 pairs of jeans that were too short and I was hormonal and in tears, and finally they brought me a pair that was long enough.
I fell in love until I saw the price tag.
I could not let him pay over $100 for a pair of jeans that I would only be able to wear for a couple more months, but he didn't let me argue.
Before I was out of the dressing room, they were paid for.

Flash forward to Wednesday... again I was stoked to try on a pair of skinny jeans that were long enough, But it is Christmas and I couldn't let him drop the cash.
I put them back on the rack and headed to the counter with my 2 long-sleeve tees.
Lance had already told the sales associate how difficult it is for me to find jeans... especially maternity jeans.
And she and I got to talking about our kids...
Lance, still trying to buy them for me, asked if they ever discount the sale racks further.
She said, "would you buy them for her if I gave you another 50% off the sale price?"

$60.... sold to me!!
And I love them!!

We made it back home about 11:00 Wednesday night... beat and exhausted.
I think we could have slept for 3 days straight...
but our 2 year old thought otherwise!

Thursday morning Lance asked him what was his favorite part of the day before...
and he excitably answered:
"Getting to ride in the firetruck stroller!!!"

Are you kidding Maddox?
The nasty mall stroller trumped the cousins, the ice, the food, and the Christmas lights?!

He's easily impressed!
He's getting solo cups for Christmas.