Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A change of pace

A friend of mine posted this video to Facebook earlier.
Selfishly, I refused to watch it just because I knew it would take a lot out of me.

I have had periods of my life where I felt anxiety was controlling my thoughts and fears...
Luckily, during this pregnancy, I have been rather un-excitable.
But after I saw people commenting about needing 2 boxes of Kleenex to get through this song, I decided to wait.
Pregnant hormones + tearful Christmas video = disaster, I was afraid.

I feel like becoming a mother, fulfilled my greatest wish in life.
I think that I was called to be Maddox's mommy and I serve that calling with great honor....
I have faith that I can do the same for our second baby.
And third and forth, if that is where we are led.

However, sometimes when I look at my sweet little Maddox, with eyes the size of apples, I wonder why I set myself up for the type of heart ache that could potentially come my way.

And now I am having another?
I am increasing my odds!!

God forbid, God forbid, something ever happen to one of my children-- but now that I prepare to be the parent to more than just one soul, that changes the game.
That means, again GOD FORBID, if worst-case-scenario were to occur-- I couldn't lay down and die because another baby (or babies) would be depending on me...

What are we doing????
What pressure?!

I finally decided to watch this video, and I thought I would share it.

I pray, I pray, I pray, that I never find myself in the shoes of these folks...
I. am. not. strong. enough. to survive.
God hear me....
I can not handle this type of heart ache.

However their story is heartwarming and deserves to be shared.
Grab your Kleenex!
(and put down your bowl of cereal, I choked on my frosted flakes!)


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