One week down.

Last weekend, we finally got some rain.

Lance and I took advantage of the cool weathers and ate dinner on the wet patio of one of our favorite Mexican joints, Christina's.

We ran to Sam Club USA on Sunday, and stocked up on groceries, for my new at-home gig.

I went to bed that night, ready.
Ready to start all of the "new" coming our way.

Before 8:00 am, I logged into my classes, excited to go.
I saw all of the reading expected of me...
wrote down the dates of my quizzes and tests...
Read through the emails and forums and other student's bios.
When writing my due dates in my calender, I found out that I would use my "labpaq" to complete an experiment each week.
I didn't have a lab kit.
I didn't know anything about it...

So I had to spend a quick $200, plus $40 to ship it in a hurry.

I was completely overwhelmed by all of the tabs and links and syllabuses and conversations... I felt like I was in another planet.

And without my kit, I was already starting behind.

My sister caught wind of my anxiety, and came to shed her 20 year old knowledge on the world of college for me.

(She also taught me how to turn my case of Greek yogurt, that tasted like mayonnaise, sour cream and armpit that was ready for my trashcan, into a yummy, and not so healthy drink, that I am addicted to now!)

{{Greek yogurt, frozen peaches, frozen berries, powdered sugar, milk, and ice}}

Tuesday I had no lab kit, still...
And had already completed the assignment for my art class,
so we played.
It ended up our last day to keep Kyleigh, so it was good that we did.
It was probably our best day yet, with the group...
And with our weather so great, we decorated for fall and spent very little time indoors!

Yesterday, my lab kit arrived on my porch, and I started my project at 10:00am this morning.
The estimated time for the experiment was 2 hours.

I completed it in 11.

Eleven.


If you read my facebook, you know I had a tragedy in my garbage disposal.
Maddox likes to keep old baby food jars so that he can fill it with tiny pieces of trash and adore them as if they are golden treasures.
Apparently he thought the jar needed a washing, and tossed it into the sink, where it slid into the disposal...
I turned it on and shred it into a million pieces.
And broke the disposal.

After digging most of it out with a paper towel, and then taking the shop vac to the rest...
I got the sink working again.

Add that incident to snacks, naps, needs, meals, fits, a smashed finger, a bruised forehead, tears, giggles, play time, a boy who missed his daddy, cleaning, a load of laundry and endless questions...

2 hours turned into 11.

But-- it is turned in and complete... 3 days before it is due. 

***
This week was also my first week to work from home.
Monday, was rough in that area too.

I am not complaining, because it is the greatest job I could ask for...
but it is an adjustment.

Lance, the slowest to adjust.

Beckham is going through a terribly hard stage right now and wants to hold me at all times.
He cries a lot when he is with me...
And Lance can't hear him, apparently.

I keep reminding myself that it is a stage, and it will pass...
but he is difficult.

Maddox is going through a super-sensitive stage.

Right now he is really worried how we feel.
If "we like him"... if "he makes us happy"...
It breaks my heart.

He cried from Home Depot on Sunday because Lance wouldn't buy me a flower.
He even offered to put back his flashlight to get me one.
Lance didn't.

Though the story was crazy-sweet, it bothered me that Lance didn't think I was worth the flowers.
Was I failing him in some way?

And I think I was...

Tuesday, while I was prematurely putting pumpkins on my porch and grapevine around my door, I noticed some crazy crabgrass in the yard.
The ground was soft so I thought I would help Lance out, and I popped a few out.
A few turned into a lot...
and what started as 'help', turned into our yard looking like it had been attacked by a gang of rabid moles.

Lance wasn't mad...
he just looked baffled.
But honestly, I was baffled too.
My hands were quivering and covered in blisters...
I have no idea why I did that?

The whole week was just like that.
Sometimes I felt like a joke and other times invisible.
Times that I wanted to help, I ended up just making things more difficult.
It has been quite the adjustment, staying home.

I know it is 90% in my head but honestly, I take a shower each day to put my pajamas on.

I haven't wore make up or a real bra at all this week...
except the day I went grocery shopping.

And that's just it...
my highlight of the week was grocery shopping!

Each day, I have silently hoped that Lance would pull in the driveway and acknowledge me.
Understand that I am scared to fail...
at school...
at the stay at home thing...
them...
Just acknowledge me.

But he didn't.

Today, however, he pulled into the driveway and greeted the boys with hugs and kisses.
He then asked Maddox if he wanted to play cars.
Maddox said yes and Lance pulled out a sack with a brand new Match box.
He handed Beckham a little rubber Mickey Mouse...
He's a great daddy...

He then walked to the back door of his truck and pulled out a bouquet of flowers for me.

And that was enough.

One week down...
7 to go.