Friday, August 17, 2012

let me explain...

Yesterday, one of my pals started a blog...
She said something to the point that she has always wanted to do one, but didn't want people to think she is obsessed with herself.

Another friend posted this link to a blog that says what I have thought many times...
And I shook my head 'yes' the entire way... 
But then wondered, after them both, how do I come off ?

I do my best to show both sides of the margin, on my blog.

I don't break down every argument that I have with my husband, every time my mom hurts my feelings, every annoying moment with my boys or every crappy thing that comes my way at work or with friends--

But in the same sentence, I don't tell you every sweet word my husband says to me, every time I call my mom for encouragement, about the tiny blessings from great patients or doctors, co-workers and friends, or every funny thing my kids do or say, either.

I look for a balance.

I keep it real.

Or at least I try.

We do go to water parks, and go bowling and swim and play at the park...
We take vacations,
and read together.
and pray.

We also clean.
And cry...
And stay home.

And honestly, we do more of the 2nd list then we do of the first.

So I tell you about both, the best I can, to document our life in a truthful manner.

This little blog is just a journal, so that one day my children can go back and read about the days of our lives, a place to put pictures, and an outlet for creativity.

I do my best to document the poopy days with a splash of humor, so that when they read this, years from now, they know that life is sometimes crap...
and the best thing to do is to try and laugh and move forward.

Today was a poopy day.

My hands still smell like poop. Honestly.

Why? You ask...

Because Beckham pooped up his back and around his diaper, and down his legs in Target.

Oddly, it wasn't the most annoying part of my day.

I woke up this morning, excited to start our Friday.

At breakfast, Maddox and I had this little conversation:
Him: "Remember that time you were so mad and said, 'what's wrong with this damn computer, I am trying to call my patients'."
Me: "Yes Maddox, but that was very ugly of me.  Please don't say that word again and I will do my best to not say it either."
Him: "computer?"
Me: "no, damn."
Hi:  [pause] "Well, okay.  But I really don't talk about beavers that much anyway."

I know it is tacky, but it cracked me up and I could just tell that we were going to have a great day!

Lance said he was leaving work at 3:00 today, and asked if I wanted to meet him after work to get Ellie and Gunner's gifts for tomorrow and maybe dinner out.

I thought, I could add a little bonus to his day by heading across town for a hat that has been out of stock for a while, before meeting him.
He received an email last night, saying there were now "plenty" available, and I knew I could make his day with the surprise $10 purchase.  (and maybe keep him out of there for any further purchases.)

Apparently no one works on Fridays, because I had to circle the parking lot 3 times to find a parking spot and finally walk from the other side of the building, in the heat, with 2 tired kids.
I did not see that hat, where all of the other caps were located so I took my place in line to ask an associate.
Maddox knocked over a 3' statue of a grenade, and pulled the finger off of a mannequin that had already been replaced with scotch tape, while we waited.

Finally my turn.

Wrong location.
No caps there.
A waste of an hour of my life.

I loaded the boys back into their seats, and headed for lunch.

Except it took me over and hour to go 10 miles, due to construction.

Beckham cried...
the entire hour.

And Maddox did everything he could to keep from falling asleep...
eventually giving in.
Ten minutes from Chickfila.

Ten minute naps are worse than no naps.

There, we ate and the boys played...
and we ordered ice cream.

A decent time together.

I tossed both of their cones in the trashcan outside of Target, as it was melting everywhere, but mine was a milkshake-- safe to keep and use in an emergency, as bribery.

Which worked great, right until Maddox took his Incredible Hulk hands to it, and crushed it...
onto carpet...
and himself,
in the middle of Target.

I still hadn't thrown in the towel, we'd survived bigger battles.

Beckham refused to sit in the front of the buggy.
But in the back, he tossed out everything that I put into the basket,
and walking, he made a quick getaway-- kicking his Toms off in his haste.

He cried today.
A lot.

His nose is running like a broken faucet,
and he screams when he sees my tissue-to-the-rescue.

Maddox wasn't bad, just full of energy...
and he told me "his heart" wanted everything we saw.

I bought him a backpack, the presents for the birthday party in the morning, little hangers and Beckham shit.

I left the diaper bag in the car...
So what's a mom to do,
but check out, poop spilling from everywhere and head out.

I pushed the buggy to the car, loaded Maddox into his seat and started the Murano to get it cooling off.
Just as I cranked the engine, Maddox screamed in panic.

Beckham had reached the car with his toe, and sent himself rolling into the street.

I lept my un-athletic self, after his buggy, and used the trunk of my car to de-clothe B and bathe him with diaper wipes.

Finally home.  Still hadn't thrown in my towel.

I put Beckham to bed,
and begged Maddox to stop talking.

Lance ended up not leaving work until after 5:00 and listened to my day, but was no help from his truck, 50 miles away.

I was fine.

For some crazy reason, though, I just knew that he was going to walk into the door with flowers or a bottle of wine, or a babysitter and surprise me with a date, away.
I thought he was going to bandage me up, and make me feel special.
I thought that he was going to reassure me that my new SAHM gig was not going to be days like today, and remind me how thankful he was that I tried.

But he didn't.

Instead he admitted that he didn't know when I started school...
but then joked that he was ordering a "my daughter and my money go to UTA" sticker for his truck.  To which he was going to cross out the word 'daughter' and write in the word 'wife'!
...and told me about his day.

Some days I give up and other days I laugh.

Today, I still have my towel...
I've had harder days to toss it.

And since the entire house is now asleep,
I am sipping a glass of cheap wine...
And giggling at my mess!

It could have been worse! 

And it will be, at some point.

It's all a part of the game!


  1. I love you and your blog. I don't follow, but I look at this one person on IG, who just had a baby and she's posting all of these dreamy photos, and I'm thinking wow, is it really that perfect for some. It was NOT for me. I was a hot damn mess when Boyd was an infant.

    I need to see the real and the nitty gritty, or else I will think I'm doing something wrong. I yell and I cry and Kevin and I argue, and when I don't think that others do it, I feel so weird, lonely.

    Loved this post. Thanks for being YOU!

  2. Great blog. As always. I love getting a peek into your days. I wish I had documented Hunter's childhood for him. His most profound memory is my freak out over spilled Big Red in his room right after we moved to Lake Country. Epic moment. Your kiddos will love reading about the good, the bad, and the poop!

  3. Love it, I laughed my butt off! Your a great writer and I love reading about your good and bad days! Can't believe how big your boys are getting!


  4. well I for sure think your real! it doesnt seem like you are making anything out to be better or worse than it is, thats what makes your blog so great! it sounds like you had many things to get upset about but good for you for not giving up :) its hard sometimes not to (even with one child). you are so RIGHT on the 10 min nap being worse than no nap. i swear that is the story of my life!! wyatt will not sleep in the car.. ive tried everything, but those handful of times that he does, it never fails that its within a few minutes of our destination. im sure your husband appreciated the thought of you trying to surprise him with the hat, afterall it is the thought that counts. even if he doesnt fully understand how one simple stop can be a pain in the ass :) good luck on going to school and i think the bumper sticker is a cute idea :) ~leslee

  5. this was great holly!
    i mean...i'm sure it wasn't great for you at the moment, but you had me laughing, crying and remembering all at once. i (well not me actually thankfully) have had many a blowout diaper at target too...craaaaazy!:/
    have a happy day holly

  6. PS
    that picture of you was classic!!!:)