Mainly because I was in a bad mood for a few days and felt like anything I would have to say, you wouldn't want to hear.
Like the fact that the $100 I paid for our "free" gift card to Great Wolf Lodge, was a joke.
I was mad.
But I am getting a refund.
The 4 hours we spent in Dallas listening to a BS sales pitch, not so much.
But I got rest...
and I feel better.
However, now I have too much to say.
Lance has been working every single day for over a month, now.
They are on the cusp of opening up 2 new stores, and his partner in crime, Josh, has been hospitalized for a foot infection/ surgery.
So Lance has been on his own.
He leaves work most days by 3:00, so it isn't like we haven't seen him-- but he's tired and crabby and less help than normal.
One night, recently, I went to bed praying that he would see me in a different light-- appreciate all that I do for him and realize that I am worth a little more than he was showing me... find me prettier, more interesting, highlight my positives... realize that someone out there could see me attractive and worth something if he couldn't.
But what I heard was what he needed from me...
How I could be better for him.
How I don't see him this way... so why should he?
God's a quirky guy, I suppose.
And it paid off.
He and Maddox greeted me after work one night last week to a special candlelight dinner.
As I walked through the door, I saw the lights were off-- except one flickering candle on the table.
The the song that Lance and I danced to at our wedding, started playing and then both boys came to greet me.
Maddox pulled out my chair, and served me tea in a wine glass.
He grinned from ear to ear our entire meal, and I could tell he was so proud of his presentation!
And I was pretty impressed by his daddy's thoughtfulness.
Maddox still looks so little to me....
But there are so many big-boy changes coming his way.
Last week, a former coach of mine posted a video of her little boy reading.
The book was repetitive "at" sounds and I thought that may be something that I should start working on with Maddox.
We headed off the 1/2 price books but came away empty handed.
I found a section of them at Target, but they did not have to brand that she had.
Maddox ended up picking out the "pre-K" Superhero book and we took it home to practice.
What a joke!
The book about "Aquatica", "Superman" and other impossible superheros and they were chasing "pigeons" and "ostriches".
None of which were Pre-K words.
Maddox has a great memory, so he could repeat the book back to me after I read it twice, but there was no "reading" involved.
He has known his letters and their sounds for years now, but I wasn't sure how to tack it all together.
I decided to jot a few words down on the ipad, to see where he was at. Without problem, he read.
He didn't need me.
He breezed through 'cat'. He read 'bat', and 'dog' and 'red' and 'tub' and 'jam'.
I actually had to hit up google to find more simple words to throw at him.
But it's fine.
[And I have been trying for an hour to get one of the videos uploaded, and I am giving up. I will try the youtube route next, and will come back and add the link.]
He gets better and better every day, and I am surprised at how well he clicked into reading!
Which is awesome timing.
He starts Mother's Day out in a month.
And he is pumped!
As you know, I have had issues with trusting others to watch my babies.
So I realize that we are a bit later than the rest of the world in this MDO business...
but the timing is right for us.
(and we still have 2 years before he starts kindergarten, so I am not sweating it!)
We are finally ready!
My Nana gave him some cash at his birthday for some school clothes, and we spent it yesterday at Marshalls.
Maddox was blessed with my long and lean genes, so we have the most difficult time finding jeans for him.
So far, I have found that Gap or Ralph Lauren's are the only ones long enough and can be girted tight enough to not moon the world... but neither are too easy on the wallet.
So I was pumped to find a pair of Ralph Lauren's for $19.
And we got him a pair of Nike shorts and a tshirt shirt as well... and still had $5 to spare.
We still need a back pack, lunch box and school supplies.
(I assume, but have not been given a list)
So our shopping is not over... and maybe only just began!
I think we have hit the expensive days of rearing children, and yes, I know it only gets pricier from here.
We registered him for soccer on Friday.
We bought him his shin guards yesterday, and you wouldn't believe how fast they make him run! ;)
I am so excited to watch him play!
I melt thinking about his grin, as I type!
School and soccer, however, mean that another "big kid" adventure is in our sights.
Wednesday, both boys have checkups scheduled.
Since Maddox's first check up, he has never had more than 2 vaccines at a time.
But I have hit a cross road.
I am going to have to give up my control (anxiety) and give him all four that he needs in one visit, because it is what he is going to need for his anxiety.
There is no way I can take him back and put him through it again.
Beckham is also due for the live vaccines that get all of the media exposure.
I am not saying that I buy into all of it...
but I hear enough to make me dread this visit for him too.
(expect tears from me)
Needless to say, we could use a little prayer for Wednesday.
For my anxiety, mostly. And that Lance (who has never missed a check up) can slip away for a few hours to be our glue.
I on purposely scheduled this appointment on my night off, because I thought Lance could use me just as well, that night following.
Beckham is cutting 4 teeth.
Two, being molars.
And he can be a bear at times.
Mostly he is still sweet and observant but then randomly, he gets tired or impatient...
and turns into
He has been known to hit me and bite me or Maddox...
but no one else. Yet.
And though I know he is frustrated, and in pain...
I want to pull his crabby little ears off, when he gets like that.
Adding 2 vaccines to this madness, and he is able to be a live wire Wednesday night.
Go ahead and pray for him, would you?!
...And those mean little teeth, to make their way on in a little quicker.
And while you're praying, remember that I start my classes in 2 weeks.
I still have to pay my last $175 and order my 2 books, so I am not 100% in it yet.
But I won't back out.
I don't think.
I can't keep picking it apart.
It is only 8 weeks.
I can get through it.
I can do it.
I. Have. To. Do. This.
I think I ate tortilla soup 3 times, and had an over-due visit to the Chilly Penguin.
We broke out Maddox's new pool that he bought with his birthday cash, only to find that it is more of a bowl, than a pool.
Maddox tried on a pair of Build-a-bear shorts (and they fit), Beckham finally started wearing a cap, me and the boys camped in my parent's yard (in their RV).
I worked with Amanda on Saturday while my babies took a dip at the lake with Pop, Gigi and their cousins!
And all of that has worn my boys out.
Both have slept all night, in their own beds!
Which again is great timing.
As our world flips up-side-down in the next month!
We can use the structure.