news

At some point in life, we all get news.
Sometimes good.
Sometimes bad.

Often times indifferent.

Sometimes it is a day changer...
maybe even a life changer.

I am a creature of habit, and I have found over my 28 years of life, that I don't like news.

It is usually an adjustment...
something to try and break down,
understand,
and adapt or conform to.

It is simply change.

...To which, I have never really been a fan.

***
I have found that I take this to the extreme in some parts of my life.

Sometimes simple ideas, like trading in my car for a new one, overwhelm me, so I keep mine.

School.
You know that song.

Even hypothetical change, does me in sometimes.
Like death.

Luckily, I haven't had to deal with death many times in my life--
but too often, I prepare myself for those types of news because I think I will soften the blow in some way when the actual news comes my way.

I do the some thing with my marriage.

I have shared that I don't think of my marriage as a "forever" gig.
Although I do think Lance and I have a great marriage... a solid friendship... and are very honest and secure with each other.
I think I set up the possibility of failure in my mind, so that if we stay in the 49% bracket of marriages that last, I will be surprised and blessed...
but if it were to end, with the majority, it would be easier in some way to know--
that's what it was always going to be, anyway.

No news.

Twisted way of thinking or not,
I hate change.

***
So today I got up like every other day.

I whipped up some banana, chocolate chip muffins and made a cup of coffee.

Kyleigh and I headed outside to soak in the cool front that we are having and waited for the boys to wake up.

Sometime around 9:00, I think, my boss called.

If you have followed my blog long enough, you know how much I love my job...
you know how blessed I feel to have a schedule that allows me to work 1/2 of my time from home-- and to have the hours that allow me to stay home with my boys during the day and not have the expenses (and worry) of having a stranger take care of my kids.

If you have followed long enough, however, you may remember a few times that the conversation has hit the table that my position may not be needed anymore.
That night clinic, could be cancelled.

In the past, these conversations came with some drama and tears.

Today, I had a similar conversation over the phone.
No drama.

Thankfully, my boss knows me well enough (after 7 years together) that she started by saying, "Holly, I have to let you in on some change.  But it will be great news for your family..."
The doctors voted to close down night clinic... maybe seasonally... maybe permanent...
but I will still get those hours that I work every week...
from home!

Sweet mother hen!!!
Do you hear this?!

I will work my same schedule-- without leaving my house!

I will have the same paycheck-- minus the gas bill, stops for large cokes, and miles on my car!

I will still get to have patient interaction...
triage...
to be a nurse...

And no adjusting to our income!

This is a God-thing, my friends!

***
Monday night Lance took Maddox to his soccer tryouts.

[Side note:: he did so well that they were shocked to find out that it was his first year playing!]

I left with both car seats still secured to the back seat of my car.

Thankfully my cousin (and neighbor) was able to keep Beckham and lend Kyleigh's seat to Maddox and they were able to still make the try outs...
but I was 45 minutes away-- and no help to them, once we figured it out!

That day, while Lance was tying Maddox's cleats, he said Maddox had the saddest look on his face.
He originally thought it was anxiety over his first organized practice, but he asked him what was wrong.

Maddox told Lance that watching him lace up his shoes, made him miss me.
That I am usually the one that put his shoes on him, and he wished that I didn't have to work so that I could watch him play.

I felt sad when Lance told me that, that night,
but justified it with all of the other times that I am home.
And since I book the weekend schedule, I would never have to miss a game.


Not a big deal.

***
But now I don't have to miss anything.
This change is good.

I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge a few worries that I do have...

Like if this too, will change.
How long will I get to keep this "dream job"?

I worry about the days that I am begging to go to work, scrubs on and keys in my hand when Lance walks through the door.
Will I ever leave the house again?
What will be my get-away?

I am a bit worried that Lance will forget the the 6 hours I am on the clock here at home, are actually my work hours and he will still be in charge of the boys during that time...
That I am still a "working mom", even though I am here-- and he still has to help as he always has.
I foresee some arguments, there.

I had asked to work an extra day a month, to cover our added expense of Maddox's school... that I will not be getting now.
But I can pick up weekends... and the gas bill alone, will be a bonus!
So this worry is minor.

Really, I think they are all minor concerns in regards to the huge blessing that I was gifted.

God is good.

My job is a blessing...

And 'news' isn't always bad, I guess!

***
By the way...
this goes into effect on Monday.

Coincidentally the same day I go back to college!