It's Beckham, right?

Yesterday we had our 34 week appointment with Dr Deem.
My blood pressure was great.
The baby's heart rate was 145bpm.
I had lost another pound.

As of our next visit, I start getting checked and am on weekly visits from there.
I'm not so excited about the checking stuff-- but that does denote the end.

Wholy guacamole... We are weeks away!

We ran by Target after our appointment to get bins to organize baby stuff.
We have decided not to set up Beckham's nursery in the farm house, since we will be moving back home when he is only 3 months old.
It just seemed like a waste::  something else to break down and move.
However, no nursery = unorganized, thrown together, mess.
I still need to get his things in some type of order-- so that I can breathe, mostly.
I went after the bins to help with the clutter.

I found these on clearance for $4.20 each.
And I think they are adorable.
And will be functional, for the time being.

[After the move-back, I will move them to Maddox's bookshelf that Nana made us, labeled for toys.]

Lance and I folded baby clothes, unpacked gifts and did our best to organize in the space we have called Beckham's.

Lance continued cleaning the house as I stacked diapers and made lists of what we need...

As we sat down to enjoy some American Idol, I had a moment of anxiety.

How do I know his name is Beckham?

I asked Lance, "Do you like Roby better than Beckham?" 
(Roby is what Lance's friends called him when he and I started dating.  Lance never liked it as a name for our baby but I loved it and tried to force it on him a while back!)
Lance said, "Do you not like Beckham anymore? We've already monogrammed his things."
[As if that sets it in stone.]

This was all too familiar to me!

I have commitment issues, I always have.

In every area of my life.

I mean I can remember being a little girl, swinging on my tire-swing and asking my Daddy, "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?"
He thought about it and said, "I guess right here in Springtown, Texas.  No one says I can't go where ever I want, but I like it here."
It stressed me out, and I was like 5.
How do you know where to live?
What if it isn't the right place?
Will you know you aren't where you are suppose to be?

It didn't stop there.

I literally had anxiety attacks in Junior High about Heaven.
Eternity is forever?
Forever- ever??
But after that??
...Is still forever.
I remember crawling into my brother's room in the middle of the night, upset... just saying, "I just don't get it.  I can't understand forever."

Flash forward again:
I was engaged for 3 years.
Mostly because we got engaged really young...
But also because the thought of marriage, an eternal commitment, forever with the same person, made me want to vomit.
I didn't have cold feet.
My feet were frozen!
After lots of patience, persuasion, and finally a handshake on a 5-year commitment and then re-eval (rather than the forever commitment the audience heard me take)-- I set a date.
The 3rd date.

This pregnancy is the only time in my life that I can remember not being anxious about everything... My head stays very calm this time, for some odd reason.
Not last night.

What if Beckham isn't his name?
Will I know?
Will we change it?
Or will it just work out?
Did anyone else ever think they might be wrong about naming their kid, or am I a complete freak?
This will be his title forever and I do not want to mess it up.

Maybe I should have just let Lance name him.
He named Maddox.

And I can't image calling that sweet face anything else.

Oh mercy me...
I think Beckham's a good name.

Right?!