Tuesday, March 29, 2011

God grant me patience.

I told myself that I would not post again until I had something positive to say.

I lied.

I haven't cried today (yet), therefor, I think I can document our life for a minute-- and pretend to have hind-sight and see the comedy that I know this will bring me one day.
When my hormones have calmed a little...
And I'm not so sensitive...

I think God may be preparing me for the more difficult times ahead...
Breaking me in, if you will.
But please spare me any judgemental opinions (I have had enough of those this week),
and realize you too have had times like this.
I'm judging myself enough---
I don't need any other spotlights on my glitches.

Let's just try to giggle together, and see the humor in this thing we call life.

Raising a toddler:

Sunday Maddox ate 1/2 of this tube of this:

It was a brand new tube.
He put his mouth on the end-- and sucked to his heart's content.
Hopefully you noticed the "safe if swallowed" disclaimer on the bottle.
(I hope they meant 1/2 the tube)

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

And then he made artwork of himself.
When I asked, "What is all over your face?!"
He responded with, "Nuffing!"
But took me to my waterproof mascara, still opened and tucked into his toy chest.  
(along side remnants of Doritos that he apparently smuggled from the pantry)
Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

Later that day, Maddox came to me while washing dishes, with his hands spread out as if he was going to block me and said, "Do not go into my room momma."
Which I immediately turned off the water, dried my hands and headed towards his room, saying, "Whhhhyyy Maddox???"
He says, "ummm... there might me a knife in my room."  "And pudding."  "Because I wanted it."
Which is when I found this:
You may have notice all 973 hack marks into the top of this pudding... 
Or the fact that he has a toddler utensil set that came with a knife?!  
One of his favorite things about dinner is picking his own fork... apparently he spotted this is his drawer and thought it would be the best thing to break into pudding with.

 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

I am being tested.
It's obvious.

 The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.  Proverbs 14:1

Yesterday I turned 37 weeks.
And was a complete sap the entire day.
I can't even remember much about my day...

I did make experimental BBQ in the crock pot.
And it turned out wonderful!
[a roast, maybe 1/3 cup of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce, some water, a can of tomato sauce, couple TBSP molasses, probably a TBSP of Dijon mustard, salt, pepper, garlic, and Lowry's seasoning salt.]
Lance said it had "really good flavor".
I knew it could go either way-- but I am in dire need of a grocery shopping trip, so we were down to making-up-meals!
We ate it in corn tortillas.
I can not (or better yet) do not want to go into what hurt my feelings so bad yesterday...
But I cried my entire (one hour) drive to work.
And a few times at work.
And when I got home from work again.
 I hate being so out of control with my emotions.
I wish I could feel like myself again.
3 more weeks.

Weeping my endure for a night.  But joy comes in the morning. Psalms 30:5

God bless my amazing husband.
And his patience with me in this past week.
And the fact that he doesn't judge me
...or my crappy parenting these last few days.
[And the fact that he promised me to take me to Weatherford on Wednesday before our doctors appointment for some Golden Moon.]
And praised me last night on the fact that Maddox (at 2 1/2) now knows all 26 of his letter sounds-- 
[the first step to reading]
and said that was a true testament to my parenting and the time and patience I constantly put into him.
(Probably not completely true) But I needed that compliment.
He's kind of perfect.
I love him a million.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
1 Corinthians 7:3-6
Back to the BBQ.
Lance said Maddox didn't eat any of his BBQ last night.
(which isn't anything new to us-- since he also refused his burrito the day before at lunch and his chicken and rice at dinner)
but we decided to cut the snacks too.
That is hard for me, because I feel like he needs to eat... so I feel better about letting him snack on healthy things he likes, such as grapes, bananas, yogurt, string cheese, and peanut butter crackers when he doesn't eat well.
But it is becoming a trend where he declines meals, but fills up on snacks.
Lance let Maddox take his BBQ to his table in his room, in hopes that he would eat.
When I tucked him in at 10:00 last night, he still had a full serving of meat on his plate.
Although gross, I left it there.
(Mainly because I was too tired to do much else)

Maddox was in my bed before midnight last night-- after a trip to the potty...
And this morning when I went to make his bed and straighten his room (the first of 50 times I will today), I noticed the meat was gone.
I have no idea when he ate the meat... or if he ate it at all?!
(We may find it stuffed in the couch cushions, with the cookies Lance found yesterday, for all I know)
But he said it was in his tummy when I asked where it went.
I am still disgusted at the thought.
But it's my fault.
Surely, there's worse that he could have ate, right?!

Faithful is he that calls you, who also will do it. – 1 Timothy 5:24

This morning Maddox and I made cinnamon toast, fruit, and chocolate milk for breakfast.
(Maddox has to help me with everything I do right now.  Cooking, laundry, cleaning, you name it... I have to find Mr. helpful a task in everything I do right now.)
Here's the little chef, helping me make a cake last weekend:
This morning he decided he wanted more chocolate milk.  With ice?!
And didn't need my help.
The sneaky little turd learned to open the refrigerator today.
And helped himself to this new drink. 
And a string cheese.
What a mess.
But I didn't cry!
Yay me!
Now he is wound up tight...
And full of energy.

Which is where I started:

God, grant me patience.


  1. No judgments here. I think you are a great mother and a very REAL person and extremely brave to throw out all of your feelings for us to read. You make me feel more normal. Seriously. You are normal. Who cares if you are a sensitive person. That makes you who you are.

    Maddox is adorable, even with 1/2 a tube of toothpaste in his belly and mascara on his face resembling a poor battered wife somewhere. They don't call them the "Terrible Two's" for nothing.

    As far as the eating goes, as long as his snacks are healthy you're doing a great job. Kids are picky. Cori has a very short list of foods she will put into her mouth. I try my best to put healthy stuff in front of her and if she eats, good, if not, oh well. Kids will eat when they are hungry, even if its not like an adult's 3 times a day schedule. You're doing fine.

    Cry if you want, scream & even throw something if it makes you feel better. A few years down the road you'll miss this and want it all back.

    Download: Trace Adkins, You're Gonna Miss This. Its a great song, I'm sure you've heard it before.

  2. Write and get it all out. No reason to worry if you write a post that is not totally positive!! All of us women/moms totally get it and we understand. I am very sensitive too. I get emotional a lot, and get hurt feelings a lot. God made us this way. It's ok. I am hoping for a better day for you tomorrow!!

    Cute pictures...the cookie making, the makeup, the toothpaste, and the pudding/knife....one day you will be able to look back and laugh at it all. It's hard in the moment though, I know.

    Boys are so adventurous and daring. It's hard on us mamas!

    Praying for you and I hope you have a good night!

  3. Meant to say cute picture of the cake making, not cookies. Promise I read every word. :))

    AND I hope that you are ok, on whatever hurt your feelings!

  4. Loved all the Bible versus throughout the blog. :) I just love you and your family so much!

    I hope you sleep good tonight and have a great day tomorrow. It's hump day tomorrow! Half way through the week! Woohoo!

    How about I pay for a flight for you to come up here and we go have a girls night? Just tell Beckham to sit tight and don't' give you any trouble. Not sure what I'll do with my girls... after the day I had, I may just leave them here to fend for themselves! HA!

  5. Kristen - funny you say that. When Cori is acting up, I tell her that I'm going to leave her at home with the dogs. She always says, with a "whatever" attitude....."Okay Mommy, Bobo is my best friend".....little terd. I wanna come for a girls night!!

    Its so weird. I have never met you, Holly but I feel like I have and we are great friends. I guess maybe b/c I know Kristen and anyone she likes must be great!

    Kristen, when you are down this summer....maybe we can all get together & let the kids play. I'm in Houston, but I have family in Ft. Worth that I could stay with if needed. Lets make some plans!

  6. I'm in!!!

    I would love to actually meet...

    and the kids would LOVE playing together!!