But this school is kicking my tail.
My finals are next week, I have a week to breathe, and then I jump right back in two new classes.
I want to quit. But I can't.
To be a "full time student" (to receive my awarded money through UTA), I have to take at least 14 hours.
I'm in until Christmas.
Rest.
And then determine if I want to keep moving forward.
or quit. Again.
I am paddling as quickly as as my flippers will go, but some days I am still drowning.
Yesterday I took the day off to get back in control of my house.
Floor to ceiling, it was sparkly clean...
but a day later, it seems so useless.
I'll catch up on the last 2 weeks.
They have been an expensive few...
We closed on our land, finally.
10.1 acres.
A nice chunk of change out of our savings to close on it, but worth it.
Done.
Yay! Exciting!
Now the Pinterest dreaming begins...
My car broke down.
One month after deciding to keep it.
Picking it up from the shop today... mo' money, mo' problems.
I am ready to get rid of it again.
Refinancing our house.
Time consuming, and will cost us our entire escrow out of our pocket until the escrow that we have now is released.
Basically an in and out process.
Still expensive.
Worth it in the end. (by 3 full points!)
Registered for my next two classes...
Can't pay until these 2 are complete next week... (until I pass)
and then my books will follow.
It has to be done.
And hopefully it will be worth it.
Maddox just completed his 4th week of school and (aside from his one-stick pulling incident) he is doing wonderful.
(This expense is worth every penny)
I created a space in the playroom for all of his school work so we could see how he was growing throughout the year, but I didn't realize we would fill it up so quickly.
He is making friends, and learning songs, and I think we were blessed with two fantastic teachers.
Both seem pretty firm, and personally, I like that.
Beckham is also brilliant.
His fine motor skills are ridiculous.
I just watched him feed a screwdriver into the hole of a tiny toy and twist it, as if he was truly unscrewing something...
He can now answer yes and no with a simple head shake and says "thank you" by shaking his head fast with heavy eye contact...
But my sweet boy still is not talking.
Dr Guthrie said she would re-evaluate him at 18 months to determine what our next step will be.
That comes at the end of this month.
Our insurance sucks.
Speech therapy is pricey.
I have done my best not to compare him to where Maddox was at this age...but I just got an email from baby-center discussing how most baby's are putting 2 words together at this point.
And I lost it.
Maybe I worked more with Maddox?
Maybe this is my fault?
I know the words are in there, he just can't get them to his tongue and out of his mouth.
Prayer for words would be nice.
And for his sanity (it's very frustrating for him to know what he wants to say but not be able to do it), for me (because I try so hard to be the best for my boys, but have some sort of guilt that he can't talk) and for our wallet, that we do not end up needing the speech therapy.
Maybe the worries listed above settled in my neck, because a few days ago I got a pain in my left shoulder blade that dang-near paralyzed me.
It has been better during the day, but is keeping me up at night as I squeel like a pig when I try and change positions.
I am going to load up on ibuprofen tonight before bed, and see if it helps me rest.
If it is still there next week, I am going to break down and make an appointment to be seen.
***
Enough about that.
It is life, and we all have problems and expenses.
I have many, many, many blessings and I am aware of them all.
I am in great spirits...
and despite the mess I have put on my plate,
I feel like I am dissecting it through in the most organized manner I know how!
God is great to us.
***
Other happenings over the 2 weeks worth noting...
Lance took Maddox to his first college football game. (TCU vs SMU)
They were given killer seats, 10 rows up, right on the 50 yard line.
It poured down rain on them the entire time but he said Maddox loved it.
He was nothing but smiles and chants and pruned feet.
Lance is already trying to find tickets to their next game.
Pirates and fairies and a grand 'ol time!
We watched Ellie in her first parade.
Maybe I am partial... but I have the best nieces and nephews around.
Those boys played their hearts out and collected enough candy to treat a village.
We had soccer practice...
Toothbrushes in the mail from Julie...
Time alone with my Baby B...
breakfast with Papa...
And lots and lots of play.
This weekend we have a soccer game, my ten year high school reunion and an air show.
Followed by a trip to the pumpkin patch, 2 days of me working in the office during the day, another birthday party, a fall festival, Halloween, a girls night, and a wedding all within the next month.
There will be pumpkin carvings and carmel apple making in there too.
Spiced cider and open windows come hand in hand with those nights... with fall flavored candles burning.
Fall is my favorite time of the year,
and I am going to try and not let my school overpower the memories that fall is sure to bring.
Hopefully I do better documenting it all.
I can only try.
I can't believe it...
October already?
Congratulations on closing on the land!
ReplyDeleteThis is just my 2 cents worth, and I know you know much more because you are in the medical field. My niece is having speech therapy for not talking at 18 months too, but it baffles me, because Boyd didn't really say ANYTHING until the day he turned 2, then he took off running and has not stopped talking since. Maybe I was just not aware and our doctor didn't really push it, but I say don't worry, and don't compare. I hope I'm not being too pushy by saying that. I never really worried, but then Boyd didn't have an older brother either, so I had no comparison. I know how hard it is on a mama to worry. Sending you a prayer and a hug. Praying for words soon from your sweet baby. I know he is just fine.
Hang in there with school. You are one tough cookie! You can do it.
Your pictures are always so sweet, and I love that you are doing a picture each day that Maddox goes to school. So precious!
xo
Not pushy at all... and both of my brother's kids were 2 before they talked also.
DeleteThankfully, however, my SIL is not a worrier... while I worried about both of them the entire way-- and probably even thought their pedi was too passive--
but obviously it all came together.
They are both brilliant and talk plenty now.
THanks Nicolle, I am going to try and let God and time do it's thing. (at least he says momma now!)
10 acres!! That makes my 1.5 seem like nothing. I would LOVE that - I can't wait to see your pinterest dreams come to life!! That will make for some great blogging days!
ReplyDeleteI too, get frustrated with Levi b/c he isn't talking. He does his normal, MAMA, DADA, DOG, but most of the time all we get are screams and hollers. I also compare him to Cori, she was saying her entire alphabet before she was 2. I think the 2nd ones take a little longer for some reason. I have no doubt that B will be just as smart and well spoken as M - it may just take a bit longer to get there. Follow your heart and instincts and if you think there is truly a problem, speech therapy couldn't hurt. You're a great mother and I look up to you for that. You're doing everything right. As always, I love all the pictures! If my stupid phone didn't fill up once a week I could have more pictures to share. I think I may secretly purchase a 64g iphone....shh don't tell my husband.
Your pictures light up my world. Thank you for letting us look into your life. Congrats on the land. So excited for your family. TEN years. Wow! It feels like yesterday. Please give a hug to anyone at the reunion that didn't hate Mrs. Jones. :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 10 acers...how fun is that going to be!! All of the boys friends are going to want to hang out at your house when they get older.
ReplyDeleteLove all of the preschool art. I have a spot in my laundry room where all of the art hangs. I also hang some on the back of the kids doors..they love that.
Hang in there! Lots going on...you will make it!
ReplyDeleteI love reading about your sweet family!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on finalizing your land!
Brady didn't start talking until sometime after 2...probably because we taught him sign language and he didn't need to talk. I remember the doctor giving me a piece of paper with a phone number on it at his 18 month check up for a speech center. I threw it out on the way out the door. :) I have always heard that 2nd and 3rd children talk later than first borns because everyone talks for them! Beckham is such a cutie! He is looking more and more like Maddox I think!