Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I've got the summer blues.

I am spent.
...and we are like 2 weeks into summer.

Like, toddler-sappy-spent... feeling like I have a "kick me" sign, hidden somewhere on my body.
Kind of wanting to cry...
but knowing no one would care-- so it would just be a waste of my energy, and probably just something else that I would have to clean up.

After our weekend, filled with watching one of Lance's best pals from HS play guitar in a festival...
2 separate birthday parties...

and cheering on our niece in her softball tournament...

Waking up early Monday morning, meeting our friends for movies in South Lake...

lunch at Cici's and sliding home with just enough time to re-straighten the house and head to work... until 11:00.

Tuesday, Holly's day care was back in business.
And Holly isn't that great of an owner.
I feel like I am constantly saying no, and that I am beating them down with rules and regulations.
"No whining".  "No more snacks".  "Not now".  "Quit".  "Stop fighting".  "Please don't wake Beckham".
They both want to be the boss... and I honestly can not afford to feed them all of the snacks and juice and milk they want!
So, "no".
I constantly am saying no.
And I hate not being good at things... especially when my kids are involved.

Kyleigh was scooped up just I was running out the door to work.
...Until 11:00, just like every other night I work.
(except I was stuck in 30 minutes worth of traffic, getting there, and was late.)

Lance and I had a "mis-understanding" after work, (that turned into tears) and  I rolled into bed around 1:00.
Without an apology.

Back up by 7:00, Ky arrived at 8:00 and then the Vest family at 9:00.
The morning was jammed packed, full of fun!

We had breakfast...  we painted outside... we played... we bathed... we ate lunch and we sent the 3 K's on their way.
Our neighbor came over to play with Maddox and Ky, and the rain rolled in.
I let them play in it.

Kyleigh's dad called to say he was going to be late, and I cleaned my house.
While vacuuming, I was dreaming about the glass of wine I was going to drink once everyone's kids left-- and I realized I was an hour away for that break.
Exhausted, but thrilled... No work tonight.

Just as Ky pulled away, I had a knock at my door-- another neighbor, asking if her boys could come and play.
Beckham was an hour past his nap...
and crying.
Within minutes, 4 little boys dumped out 5 buckets of tiny toys and demolished the play room.

I made dinner and got B down.
I sent home the neighborhood, cleaned the playroom again and waited for Lance.
...who didn't eat dinner, and fell asleep on the couch.
While I cleaned... up dinner... that no one ate.

And as for that glass of wine...
I am too damn tired to pour it.

So I'll sit.
And type.
And gripe.

I know... I know... I know that there are so many fun things in this little letter, and the entire thing could have been written from the other side of the pancake, and been a blog about summer fun.

I know that I am just being a sap...
I realize that there is a chip the size of Canada on my shoulder...
And I hate to sound bratty...
But who's worried about me?

Maybe I have reverted to a toddler, and I am just tired.

 I think we all are.

I am going to bed...
And am excited to meet my friend Erin (who's husband was one of my good friends in HS and her and I have become friends through FB, but have actually never met) and reunite with my old friend, Jenna, one of the famous Crockin' girls, tomorrow.

Friday night, Lance and I have a graduation party to go to...
and my mom is keeping my kids!

I will do my best to make my next post sunshine and lollipops...
and if the rest of the weekend goes as planned...
We will do nothing.

Ahhh, bliss.


  1. So excited to finally meet my friend I have ever met! Now I'm really hoping it's a GNO, because girlfriend, you need one (and I do too!).

    Ay yi yi! Sounds like your summer is going to be a bit of a bumpy ride. I'm sure you'll get the hang of things, you just have to find your groove.

    I can't imagine working on top of everything else you have going on! Sheesh, you have some energy.

    I hope it all gets better sooner than later and just remember to take a minute to yourself (I totally understand feeling like "no one is worried about me"). I sympathize with you and know that misunderstandings, tears, and going to sleep mad happens (just happened here two nights ago). If y'all are anything like us, things will be okay in no time.


  2. And to throw a positive note in here... Beckham is back to my sweet baby, and has been that way for a week!! (my guess, was that tooth causing him to be hell on wheels)
    AND I stuck with a schedule this week for eating and activities for M and Ky; and today they even layed down for an hour, watched tv, and I cleaned without interruption!
    (I really appreciated it)

    Glass 1/2 full.....

  3. Well, I can sympathize with you, so you can cry on my shoulder! I have had those blues for about a week, and finally kicked them the other day. I cried and cried, and thought the same thing, no one is caring that I'm crying! :) I love being active and doing things with Boyd, but let me tell you, too much piles up on me and I'm a crazy woman. You are brave, because I would NOT be a good owner of Nicolle's Daycare. I'm just saying. I entertained that thought once or twice, but I know I couldn't do it.

    Love your pictures, I hope your blues are gone soon! I hope the rest of your week is nice and slow and relaxing.

    I wrote you back on IG, but on my blog I got my pics side by side using Picmonkey. They finally have collages.

  4. I love your truly honest posts. I think that is one main reason I love reading your blog. You say the things the rest of us feel, but are too chicken to say out loud in fear of not looking like we have everything under control. I, am worried about you!! I also went to bed mad last night, but I did have that glass of wine you needed! I'm never to tired to pour a glass of "finally the kids are asleep, kitchen is clean, my head hurts, my back hurts, my stupid husband just SITS on that damn couch, the rest of my house is filthy, but who cares". Chin up Sister - I'm sure this is just a funk for you - you'll over come it, you always do!

  5. Girlfriend, you are way too busy. I hope things start to slow down for you this weekend. And I would be a horrible owner to of that business too! Although it looks to me that you are doing a pretty good job. And, as soon as all the kids understand the summer rules, you'll use NO less often.
    Your comments to me are always so nice. (But, don't forget that iceburg quote!) I nag often...and am probably not the easiest person to live with sometimes. Just the other day I swore at my son...something I said I would never do. He made me so mad, and I called him a smart my worst tone! We were in the van and I cried like a baby....boy did that get him! And remember, I didn't blog when Brady was a baby! Those are hard times for sure! It gets easier as they get older...and then you have all new smart mouth and eye rolling! Fun times! Enjoy your gno and time alone with Lance! And schedule a little more down time for you and your boys and say no once in awhile to those neighbor kids!! :)

  6. Great honest post! And so true~ Enjoy your GNO! My once GNO is what gets me through the month!