Rambling thoughts...

My step dad bought our Sea World tickets and booked us 3 nights into the Hilton Hill Country Spa for next week.
We are going!
My mom started this idea, hoping that my SIL and her babies could go too.
But they have another vacation set in a couple of weeks, and they thought this would be too much.
We will certainly miss them,
but we are so excited to go!

Hooray for vacation... 
I am also excited that for the next 2 weeks, I will be working very little.
I love my job...
A lot.
But a break is nice too.
I only have to work 2 nights, next week...
and 2 the week after that!  (since we are closed for July 4th.)
I will be taking call from home, so I get the same check with less days away from my family.

Holly's day care will only be open one day for the next 2 weeks also.
We had another great week together, this week.
We spent both days, at the pool... (the second day with our friends)
and besides the Tahoe that they slammed my car door into, causing me to rip their ears off, yesterday...
They were so good.
And the water wears them out!

The following week is Maddox's 4th birthday which we have planned nothing.
Yet.
Four... really?!
It falls on a Tuesday, a day that I keep Kyleigh, so I am trying to think of something fun to do with them that day--
but I need to think about the party, at some point, as well!


On another note: My Mamaw fell on Tuesday morning.
She was taken by ambulance and my mom rushed in, but her scans were clear and she was released home.
A simple fall can be very serious on a 97 year old frame, so I was very scared and prayed alot while we waited.
I know her time is nearing... and she will tell you that she is ready when the good Lord calls her...
But I have dealt very little with death in my 28 years of life,
an have anxiety just thinking about it.
I am glad she is okay.

I keep changing my mind about school every day.
Had I written this yesterday, I would have told you that I had backed out again, and was not going.
100%
As of last night, however, I may have changed my mind again.
I was awarded some free money, which at UTA will not go far,
but I might as well use what I was given and take those classes, even if that is all I do for now.

I worry about racking up $30K in loans... (what the entire program will cost)
I worry that I will pour myself into school and miss out of important years in my kids' lives.
I worry that if I jump in-- I may miss my opportunity to have baby #3.
I worry that God may surprise me with Baby 3 and my student loans will have to start, without me finishing school. 
Lance worries about my anxiety.
I have to find out a few more details (like if I have to take a full load to use this money)...
And I will fill you in when I am definite.
Which is never.

Lance has 2 days off like the rest of the world now.
He loves his new job...
and is home by 3:00 most days.
But 6 days of that, gets old.
So recently, he decided to work 16 hours on Wednesday and not go in at all on Thursday.
Today is his first Thursday off.
And he is mowing and changing his oil.
Hopefully soon, we will have more fun-family things to fill this day off.
His Saturdays off, are always busy as it is!

Beckham is such a good baby.
He still doesn't say a whole lot.
At all.
But he is so happy and calm and inquisitive.
And he snuggles and loves and kisses me, all day long.
And he LOVES to dance.
And my favorite part of my day with him each day, is the way he drops everything in his hand to run to me, laughing, when I get home from night clinic, each night!

I am sure we are inching on a tooth again, and he will transform into a terrible monster, just like before...
but I just wanted to write it down so that I could reassure myself that I will get him back--
when the time comes.

Maddox is so funny.
Today, he drew on his own arm with a marker.
He told me that it was an autograph and if I let him keep it on for 10 days, it will turn into a tattoo.
He just inked his brother, as well.

 
Lance loves ZBB and apparently he told Maddox that the "Whatever It Is" song is about me.
Recently, Maddox asked me "Mommy, do you even like that song that daddy sings about you?"
I said, "I don't know buddy, what song does he sing about me?"
He said, "well, the only part I 'member says, 'she's got eyebrows and cuts him with a knife'!"

I died laughing... the actual song says, "she's got eyes that cut you like a knife, and lips that taste like sweet red wine, and pretty legs, go to Heaven, every time."  Nothing about murder, as Maddox apparently heard it.




He also asked me what spiders ate for dinner, and I told him insects.
He exhaled and closed his eyes, and slowly said, "that's what woodpeckers eat, mommy.  Don't worry about it."

When I leave for work, each night, Maddox always tells me to be careful.
Sometimes, he shouts, "send a post card!" as I pull out of the driveway.
 
Beckham was crying, the other day, and I thought he was looking for a particular toy.
I asked Maddox where it was, and he said to Beckham, "just look around son."

My mom told him that she was disappointed in the way he was acting, recently, and he said, "oh please don't be disappointed, Gigi.  Just tell my mommy and have her spank me."

Maddox has mastered something that I fear Lance never will.
He loves to dish out compliments.
Usually his timing is on point... and he will even tell me that the house looks nice, when he knows I have been working hard to get it that way.
Sometimes, however, his Erwin blood pools through... and his compliment comes randomly and sounds like this, "you never look skanky momma."  With a big smile, as if it was a good one.

Which reminds me, I have to share this back handed compliment, that I keep thinking about and laughing...
Remember the concert that we went to two weekends ago?
There was a girl there, who told me 4 separate times, that I was going to be so pretty when I was 60.
The first couple of times I said, "thanks.... I guess."
and Finally I said, "yay, only 32 to years until I hit my prime!"
She still kept smiling at me as if she were being so sweet and we were great friends...
I am blaming the wine.
And I am going to be so pissed if I look like a troll at 60. 

Bravo to you, if you are still reading.
I can not get into the swing of blogging lately.
And rambling thoughts do not make the best reads...

but.
"it is what it it is... bra."  :)

Happy Thursday!