Maddox went to bed upset last night because he "wanted to be a princess".
I told him only girls can be princesses-- that he could be a prince.
He was tired and whiny and persistently said no. He wanted to be a princess!
Each time I would correct him, the tears would flow...
Maybe I should have let it go...
But where's the line?
He finally got it together and said, "then I am the king!"
I said, "that will work!"
***
I had forgot about the internal struggle I had faced around the holidays.
Last night re-lit the flame.
I had 2 friends with little girls Maddox's age post pictures of their little beauties in Buzz Lightyear costumes on Facebook.
The comments were sweet and funny... Even though their girls preferred a boy character over the princess stuff that they had received for Christmas.
I too, thought they were adorable.
But my heart hurt for Maddox.
He loved Dora and Kai Lan around that time, but I didn't dare share our love for a girl character, for fear of the back lash that could follow.
And to post a pic of him as a little Chinese dressed girl on Facebook... (not that we own such an outfit) but can you imagine the controversy?
I hate that at 2, there are so many social standards already.
I don't want to cram boy- boy-boy down his throat, because I don't want to change the sweet little soul that he has.
I have never feared that he will be the "mean-kid" at school... it's just not in his cards.
He is too carrying and worried about other people's feelings for that.
I do worry however, about whats too far?
Where's the line?
Is it okay that he wore my sister's birthday tiara and called himself a king a few weeks ago?? (the picture above)
--I think so.
The tears over wanting to be a princess last night...
--I don't know?!
I do believe there are boundaries...
And this isn't a daily or weekly issue either.
It is just fresh on my mind after last nights tears.
He loves boy things.
And when put into a setting with Cambrie a while back, Kimberly and I laughed that Maddox automatically ran to the car track and Cambrie ran to the kitchen... but at some point during play-- I think they both played a little on both sides of the margin.
And that's normal... right?!
There's not much that makes Maddox happier that throwing rocks in the pond, riding on the tractor and carrying his tools everywhere-- just in case there's something to be fixed.
(even if he has re-named his tools: Pinch, wiggle wrench, ricker-ricker-three-thousand, and a hose-raider.)
He loves playing baseball with his daddy... catch with Pop... throw "coconuts" (acorns)... and will play cars for hours.
His Buzz, Woody, and "toy" (the little alien character from Toy Story) are never far from reach...
so I think we are fine.
But does the rest of the world agree?
Oh the struggles of motherhood....
I'm off to cut his hair.
P.S.
This "princess" is out of control:
P.S.
This "princess" is out of control:
I think I get what you are saying. Yesterday Boyd wanted me to paint his toenails and it kind of freaked me out, but I had to remind myself, at this age he doesn't know everything yet. I do think boys are more inclined to do boy stuff...that is just the way they are made. BUT, when they encounter something that is new to them, they might not understand if it's a boy thing or a girl thing. I can understand your thoughts on this. I hope I'm reading this right?!!! :) I think Maddox is adorable and totally fine! ps. Boyd also has a doll, but it's a boy hunter doll from Cabela's, so we figured it was ok! lol.
ReplyDeleteHolly, there is a book out right now called "My Princess Boy" about a young boy that wants to dress like a girl, etc... they were featured on some morning talk shows recently. I think you are right on track in letting him express himself without trying to force him to adhere to social "norms" that he has no concept of at this stage in his development. Keep letting him be Maddox and you can't go wrong. Society is harsh and judgemental, but Maddox will hear your love loud and clear. PS- you look fabulous!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could do the dressing like a girl stuff... I think I would have to put my foot down there.
ReplyDelete(But then again, the first thing I learned about parenting was Never-say-never!)
I don't worry even for a second that he's trans-gender or something crazy-- my point is this: It is nuts that at TWO YEARS OLD, we already press social standards on our babies.
He is just NOW learning the difference between girl vs. boy.
He hasn't mentioned the princess anymore... and he's pretty much out of Dora and Kai Lan and moved on to Bubble Guppies and Wow Wow Wubsy.
It's just odd that a 2 year old *girl* would love Dino Dan, we (as a society) wouldn't think twice about it-- but a boy loving kai Lan would seem "odd".
I loved hearing about his brand new wiggle wrench and pinch,lol I think is just a sweet boy with lots of love in his heart.My Gavin wanted his nails painted and make up and one point because I was doing it to his sisters and he wanted to be involved but now at 5 wants nothing to do with the girl stuff,lol
ReplyDeleteIf Maddox is satisfied being a King, tell him his Nana was a king for 18 years before she became an Eyster. (Kings wear crowns too you know.)
ReplyDeleteTell him if his great, great, grandpa King was alive today, he would be 101 years old. Arnie Lee King was born Feb. 23, 1910 and died May 30, 1984. You were just a wee baby and don't remember anything about him, but you would have loved him. He was nothing but a big kid himself and a wonderful dad and I will miss him all the rest of my days. I just wish I could go back and have one more day with him but I know that would just leave me want another and another.
If Maddox wants to be a princess; remember he is only 2 1/2 years old and gender means nothing to him. He has enough male influence in his life to not be confused as he grows older and if he chooses to be a 'princess' all his life, it was because it was meant to be. I am a firm believer that a child is born with a gender inclination and trying to hide it or change it is where the trouble and heart break starts. I am absolutely certain Maddox is all boy and a yard wide, :-) but if he weren't, I would love him with all my heart and everybody else could go to hell.
Love...
Nana