San Antonio. (the first post)

I wanted to blog from the hotel tonight.
I even came prepared with my lap top and blew the dust off the real camera, filling my card full of fun, today. 
BUT... I'm having hell with the wifi- 
And I left the cord that connects my camera to my computer, at home. 
So I'll give you a little teaser from the iphizzle, and will try and post the real pics, once we are back home.

The ride down, went off without a hitch. 
My mom and sister might tell you that Beckham had a few issues... I have flown with Sir-terrible-travels, and I am here to say that he was perfect. 
Maddox was great, as always, and even took a little nap. 
We are staying at the Hilton Hill Country Spa... And I was worried that it would be too 'adult-esk' for the boys, but I was wrong. 
The boys swam... Maddox sang a song on a microphone and won us a s'more kit... We roasted them in the fire pits of the court yard... Attempted to watch Garfield on the outside movie wall... But  when the fire pits didn't mix well with the 100 degree weather, we turned back to the pool before calling it a night. 
Learning from my mistakes in Florida, we set up the pack and play in the bathroom, and Beckham slept perfectly. 
Well, he did perfect, I should say, until I thought I saw a man in our room and screamed, in the middle of the night--waking him up.   Maddox had a separate night-talking episode... As did my mom, who always does.  But all in all, we slept well. 

This morning we made Maddox's dreams come true, when we finally pulled into Sea World. 
He was so excited, that he was hard to control at first. 
He may have earned himself a spanking, right inside the gate of the park... And for those of you who don't believe in spanking... He may have not. 
Our second glitch of the morning, was realizing we had a flat tire on the stroller. Luckily we found a worker who was able to give us a little air.  "little" being no understatement.  It's still low, but finally pushable, and we made do. 
We rode a few rides, and Maddox was so brave on all of them.  He actually rode a water ride that takes you 100 feet into the air-- turns you backwards for a bit-- and then drops you into a water-rush, while splashing you all wet! I don't think he knew the extremes of that one when he agreed to ride it!  His mommy did a little panicking and out loud praying-- right before we took the plunge-- scared I put too much trust into a little measuring stick okaying him to ride.  After the plunge, we asked him what he thought. He said, "I opened my eyes and I was wike 'oh my gosh, What am I doing?'." and then he assured us that he wouldn't be riding it again. 
Beckham fought sleep all day, and gave us a bit of a hard time... But finally he gave in-- sitting straight up-- cracker in hand, and took a 30 minute nap. 
It was so hot, and we didn't even see half of it... But we have tomorrow to pick up where we left off! 

I felt a little guilty that Lance was missing out on so much fun, and worried that he was going to be lonely on his day off in an empty house.
But he wasn't.
He made stops at Cabelas, Cheaper than Dirt, Omaha Salvage... And the Under Armour store. I think he actually loved his day!

We too, loved ours!
We all loved feeding and petting the dolphins-- even B got in on that!
The Azul show, was by far the best show we saw today-- full of acrobatics, diving, synchronized swimming and humor too. 
Watching Maddox dance to Elmo Live, as if he were the only kid in the room, was a lot of fun too... And probably one of the most memorable parts of our day. 
Shamu wasn't as great as I remember it from my childhood... Because no one gets in the water anymore.  Although, during the show I was reminded of a story I shared on FB about reading Maddox 'The Giving Tree' a few nights ago and how I watched his lip turn down as she gave up her apples... Saw a tear fall, when she cut off her limbs... And how I had to console a bawling boy once she became a stump.  I finished my post by saying it was just another example how he is me through and through.  Well, today, while watching the Shamu show, there was a tiny part recognizing our soldiers. They asks all veterans and currant military to stand and as I turned to wipe to auto-tear from my left eye... I saw my mom doing the same. 
I guess we are all cut from that same sensitive cloth! And maybe I too, am her, through and through. 

Tonight, we moved Beckham's pack and play into the closet. (with the doors opened) and mom rigged up blankets through the hallway, creating him a room.  She, like Lance, feels bad putting him by himself to sleep by a potty.  It's whatever works-- and since her and I are the only ones still awake. (in silence) It works!!

Tomorrow is another big day...
I'm off to bed!

Rambling thoughts...

My step dad bought our Sea World tickets and booked us 3 nights into the Hilton Hill Country Spa for next week.
We are going!
My mom started this idea, hoping that my SIL and her babies could go too.
But they have another vacation set in a couple of weeks, and they thought this would be too much.
We will certainly miss them,
but we are so excited to go!

Hooray for vacation... 
I am also excited that for the next 2 weeks, I will be working very little.
I love my job...
A lot.
But a break is nice too.
I only have to work 2 nights, next week...
and 2 the week after that!  (since we are closed for July 4th.)
I will be taking call from home, so I get the same check with less days away from my family.

Holly's day care will only be open one day for the next 2 weeks also.
We had another great week together, this week.
We spent both days, at the pool... (the second day with our friends)
and besides the Tahoe that they slammed my car door into, causing me to rip their ears off, yesterday...
They were so good.
And the water wears them out!

The following week is Maddox's 4th birthday which we have planned nothing.
Yet.
Four... really?!
It falls on a Tuesday, a day that I keep Kyleigh, so I am trying to think of something fun to do with them that day--
but I need to think about the party, at some point, as well!


On another note: My Mamaw fell on Tuesday morning.
She was taken by ambulance and my mom rushed in, but her scans were clear and she was released home.
A simple fall can be very serious on a 97 year old frame, so I was very scared and prayed alot while we waited.
I know her time is nearing... and she will tell you that she is ready when the good Lord calls her...
But I have dealt very little with death in my 28 years of life,
an have anxiety just thinking about it.
I am glad she is okay.

I keep changing my mind about school every day.
Had I written this yesterday, I would have told you that I had backed out again, and was not going.
100%
As of last night, however, I may have changed my mind again.
I was awarded some free money, which at UTA will not go far,
but I might as well use what I was given and take those classes, even if that is all I do for now.

I worry about racking up $30K in loans... (what the entire program will cost)
I worry that I will pour myself into school and miss out of important years in my kids' lives.
I worry that if I jump in-- I may miss my opportunity to have baby #3.
I worry that God may surprise me with Baby 3 and my student loans will have to start, without me finishing school. 
Lance worries about my anxiety.
I have to find out a few more details (like if I have to take a full load to use this money)...
And I will fill you in when I am definite.
Which is never.

Lance has 2 days off like the rest of the world now.
He loves his new job...
and is home by 3:00 most days.
But 6 days of that, gets old.
So recently, he decided to work 16 hours on Wednesday and not go in at all on Thursday.
Today is his first Thursday off.
And he is mowing and changing his oil.
Hopefully soon, we will have more fun-family things to fill this day off.
His Saturdays off, are always busy as it is!

Beckham is such a good baby.
He still doesn't say a whole lot.
At all.
But he is so happy and calm and inquisitive.
And he snuggles and loves and kisses me, all day long.
And he LOVES to dance.
And my favorite part of my day with him each day, is the way he drops everything in his hand to run to me, laughing, when I get home from night clinic, each night!

I am sure we are inching on a tooth again, and he will transform into a terrible monster, just like before...
but I just wanted to write it down so that I could reassure myself that I will get him back--
when the time comes.

Maddox is so funny.
Today, he drew on his own arm with a marker.
He told me that it was an autograph and if I let him keep it on for 10 days, it will turn into a tattoo.
He just inked his brother, as well.

 
Lance loves ZBB and apparently he told Maddox that the "Whatever It Is" song is about me.
Recently, Maddox asked me "Mommy, do you even like that song that daddy sings about you?"
I said, "I don't know buddy, what song does he sing about me?"
He said, "well, the only part I 'member says, 'she's got eyebrows and cuts him with a knife'!"

I died laughing... the actual song says, "she's got eyes that cut you like a knife, and lips that taste like sweet red wine, and pretty legs, go to Heaven, every time."  Nothing about murder, as Maddox apparently heard it.




He also asked me what spiders ate for dinner, and I told him insects.
He exhaled and closed his eyes, and slowly said, "that's what woodpeckers eat, mommy.  Don't worry about it."

When I leave for work, each night, Maddox always tells me to be careful.
Sometimes, he shouts, "send a post card!" as I pull out of the driveway.
 
Beckham was crying, the other day, and I thought he was looking for a particular toy.
I asked Maddox where it was, and he said to Beckham, "just look around son."

My mom told him that she was disappointed in the way he was acting, recently, and he said, "oh please don't be disappointed, Gigi.  Just tell my mommy and have her spank me."

Maddox has mastered something that I fear Lance never will.
He loves to dish out compliments.
Usually his timing is on point... and he will even tell me that the house looks nice, when he knows I have been working hard to get it that way.
Sometimes, however, his Erwin blood pools through... and his compliment comes randomly and sounds like this, "you never look skanky momma."  With a big smile, as if it was a good one.

Which reminds me, I have to share this back handed compliment, that I keep thinking about and laughing...
Remember the concert that we went to two weekends ago?
There was a girl there, who told me 4 separate times, that I was going to be so pretty when I was 60.
The first couple of times I said, "thanks.... I guess."
and Finally I said, "yay, only 32 to years until I hit my prime!"
She still kept smiling at me as if she were being so sweet and we were great friends...
I am blaming the wine.
And I am going to be so pissed if I look like a troll at 60. 

Bravo to you, if you are still reading.
I can not get into the swing of blogging lately.
And rambling thoughts do not make the best reads...

but.
"it is what it it is... bra."  :)

Happy Thursday!

About my Daddy

I didn't think I could trump last years Father's Day post, being on call both Saturday and Sunday... but I did host a little interview with our funny 3 year old.

I hope to ask these questions over the years to see how the answers change!

[And once Beckham can say more than a handful of words, I will ask his opinion on the subject as well.]

One thing that is sure to stay constant is the unconditional love Lance gives our boys and the hero status they return to him.

***
Happy Father's Day, babe!

You are worlds above the rest, in our book! 
I thank God every day, for the daddy that you are.

My Daddy's 'real' name is: Wance Daddy

He is four-thirty years old.

He is 4 feet tall and weighs 14 pounds.

My daddy's hair is  bwack and his eyes are white on the outside and bwack in the middle  .

His favorite food: he has never told me but maybe its something he bakes on the grill

Dessert: brownies

His favorite game to play: softball

Sport to watch: baseball

My daddy is the happiest when: when he gets home from work and I run at him and snuggle him

My favorite thing to do with my daddy is: pway cars

His favorite tv show is: Bomb Patrol Afghanistan (which turned into an entire conversation about parachutes and helicopters and IEDs.)

He loves to drink: Dr Pepper and sometimes your Pepsi

Daddy makes me the happiest when: he plays cars or Captain America with me.

I know my daddy is mad when: when I throw my superheroes over the fan or do other bad things

My daddy is very good at:  holly ball

How strong is Daddy?  15 weights.

What does Daddy always say to you? "Maddox, I got to go to work, but I will be right back and we can play holly ball."

How does daddy make you laugh?  making funny faces

My favorite part of my day with Daddy: when we go to the park together or you guys watch me ride my bike

Daddy's favorite place to be is: in the shower

I know my daddy loves me because: he always tells me and kisses me a lot.

Nailed it!

I love the "nailed it" pins on Pinterest...
they always crack me up!
and sometimes, that's the way I feel about my week...

             Always trying hard to succeed...
             but usually pulling through looking like a drowned rat with a broken foot!

But this week.
I nailed it!

Monday, after our movie in South Lake, we headed to Irving to surprise Lance for lunch.
Work was slow and call was too.

Tuesday and Wednesday were awesome!

Tuesday, Candace brought her crew over in the morning an we played at the front pool.
Had a picnic lunch and then came home...

Wednesday, my mom brought my brother's kids over--
and despite 4 wild children and a baby following behind, I managed to keep a clean house, washed, dried, folded and put away every piece of dirty laundry and even had dinner ready before I left for work.
...and it was good!
(we are going to completely ignore the fact that Gunner rolled Maddox' fingers up into the car window, because I wasn't here to see it... and the tears were gone by the time I made it in from work!)


"Holly's daycare" went off without a hitch, as well, mainly because I developed a routine for them and we stuck to it...

Snacks and meals are all on schedule now, and even better-- I developed an "hour of rest" where everyone gets their own room and they can look at books or watch cartoons but they have to stay laying down, away from each other.  (and hopefully sleep)

It works.

Beckham has been so sweet an cuddly lately... which makes a huge difference too!

Today we are taking it easy, and then my SIL is bringing the kids back in the morning to swim again.

I am on call both Saturday and Sunday, so you can expect our weekend to be boring!

What's not boring....
the kids and I, are hoping to take a mini-trip to San Antonio in a couple of weeks to go to Sea World.
Since mom is taking us, this will all depend on her strike!
And for my sanity, I am keeping it secret news from Maddox, for now!

We will just roll with what comes next...
because in the words of my 3 year old...
"it is what it is, bra."

I busted through ...and made it out!

Thursday, after work, I met two friends from high school, and one "friend", whom I had never met in real life [but was great friends with her husband in high school and feel like we are best pals from our blogging/facebooking/instagramming with each other] for dinner.

We all have busy lives and small children, so what originally was planned as a play date-- was converted into a mom's night out and chat-fest-- because, frankly, we all needed it.

Ashley's baby was fussy, so she slid out early.
We continued to catch up and finally closed down Gloria's at 10:00, and moved over to Starbucks.
They closed at 10:30, so we took it to a table just outside the store.
Erin left too...
And eventually Jenna and I took it to our car.

Finally we realized it was 1:30 in the morning, I got my very own book signing out of the trunk of Jenna's car, and we called it a night!

Jenna and I spent countless nights, in our younger days, with nights just like these.
We took vacations together as families, cheered together, ran up and down the road, laughed, cried and have a lot of funny memories and inside jokes.

After years of little contact, we realized that some things never change!
And we had such a great time together.

Erin was just as sweet and pretty as I knew she would be.
And now when I say, "my friend Erin"... it won't be a lie.  We "know" each other now!

***
Friday, Lance and I had plans to go to a graduation party for the little brother of a guy Lance grew up with.
10 or 15 years ago, this family was the family to host a party...
and again, some things don't change.

They had great food, swimming, beach volleyball, and 2 live bands.

The first few years of mine and Lance's relationship, I sat on the tailgate of a pick-up truck and listened to Pat Green, Cory Morrow, Jack Ingram, Jerry Jeff Walker, Mike McClure, and other artists like that.

10 years later, I sat at the same house and while my husband pitched washers with the same group of guys and I listened to Mike McClure {{live}} and some cat named Johnny Cooper.  (who I didn't know)

We chatted with friends that we never see, rode the Ranger around their property, laughed, told old stories, and had a great time.
So great, in fact, that Lance and I didn't leave until 3:30 this morning!

I was fine with that, because I made friends with Mike's harmonicaist, Jake... and since the bands were staying the night, talked my way into a private concert {{acoustic}}. 

For about a minute, I felt like I am was high school again... living the dream.

That minute was over, this morning, however, when Beckham woke up at 7:00 to nurse and wanted to play until 9:00!!

Today, we had lunch in Boyd at my favorite little gas station.
Stopped for snow cones...

Lance and B took 3 hour naps...
And we did nothing!

Nothing.

***
I feel so much better, after a little (or lot) of 'me time'.
This kind of stuff doesn't fall my way too often, but hopefully I got enough to fill my tank for a little while.
I think my pitty party is over...
I made it out!

I've got the summer blues.

I am spent.
...and we are like 2 weeks into summer.

Like, toddler-sappy-spent... feeling like I have a "kick me" sign, hidden somewhere on my body.
Kind of wanting to cry...
but knowing no one would care-- so it would just be a waste of my energy, and probably just something else that I would have to clean up.

After our weekend, filled with watching one of Lance's best pals from HS play guitar in a festival...

2 separate birthday parties...

and cheering on our niece in her softball tournament...

Waking up early Monday morning, meeting our friends for movies in South Lake...

lunch at Cici's and sliding home with just enough time to re-straighten the house and head to work... until 11:00.

Tuesday, Holly's day care was back in business.
And Holly isn't that great of an owner.
I feel like I am constantly saying no, and that I am beating them down with rules and regulations.
"No whining".  "No more snacks".  "Not now".  "Quit".  "Stop fighting".  "Please don't wake Beckham".
They both want to be the boss... and I honestly can not afford to feed them all of the snacks and juice and milk they want!
So, "no".
I constantly am saying no.
And I hate not being good at things... especially when my kids are involved.

Kyleigh was scooped up just I was running out the door to work.
...Until 11:00, just like every other night I work.
(except I was stuck in 30 minutes worth of traffic, getting there, and was late.)

Lance and I had a "mis-understanding" after work, (that turned into tears) and  I rolled into bed around 1:00.
Without an apology.

Back up by 7:00, Ky arrived at 8:00 and then the Vest family at 9:00.
The morning was jammed packed, full of fun!

We had breakfast...  we painted outside... we played... we bathed... we ate lunch and we sent the 3 K's on their way.
Our neighbor came over to play with Maddox and Ky, and the rain rolled in.
I let them play in it.

Kyleigh's dad called to say he was going to be late, and I cleaned my house.
Again.
While vacuuming, I was dreaming about the glass of wine I was going to drink once everyone's kids left-- and I realized I was an hour away for that break.
Exhausted, but thrilled... No work tonight.

Just as Ky pulled away, I had a knock at my door-- another neighbor, asking if her boys could come and play.
Beckham was an hour past his nap...
and crying.
Within minutes, 4 little boys dumped out 5 buckets of tiny toys and demolished the play room.
Again.

I made dinner and got B down.
I sent home the neighborhood, cleaned the playroom again and waited for Lance.
...who didn't eat dinner, and fell asleep on the couch.
While I cleaned... up dinner... that no one ate.

And as for that glass of wine...
I am too damn tired to pour it.

So I'll sit.
And type.
And gripe.


***
I know... I know... I know that there are so many fun things in this little letter, and the entire thing could have been written from the other side of the pancake, and been a blog about summer fun.

I know that I am just being a sap...
I realize that there is a chip the size of Canada on my shoulder...
And I hate to sound bratty...
But who's worried about me?

*** 
Maybe I have reverted to a toddler, and I am just tired.

 I think we all are.

I am going to bed...
And am excited to meet my friend Erin (who's husband was one of my good friends in HS and her and I have become friends through FB, but have actually never met) and reunite with my old friend, Jenna, one of the famous Crockin' girls, tomorrow.

Friday night, Lance and I have a graduation party to go to...
and my mom is keeping my kids!

I will do my best to make my next post sunshine and lollipops...
and if the rest of the weekend goes as planned...
We will do nothing.

Ahhh, bliss.