It's 100 miles an hour
all day long.
It's snacking on crackers
while dancing along.
Forgetting lunch for myself,
or breakfast for that matter...
except the junk I sneak in my mouth,
quickly, as I hear pitter patter.
There's laughter, frustration,
giggles and tears...
Days that whisk in a blur,
and others that feel like years.
The list inside my head
that never gets done.
The cooking, the cleaning,
and allotting time for fun.
It is putting myself last,
and going forever unseen.
but busting my ass anyway
with a Pepsi in between.
The raisins and yogurt packages,
toys, and sticky floors...
the laundry I completed yesterday,
and today, of course, there's more.
Unexpected flowers from my husband,
that I turned into a fight...
Finally getting noticed,
and I don't even do that right.
Questions, questions, questions
the talking never ends...
my days consist of a 3 year old
being my best friend.
Scanning through Pinterest,
and blogging when I can...
playing with my babies
and missing my man.
Cleaning, changing diapers, bathing,
and chasing my tail.
Reading and coloring,
while going through mail.
Multitasking, making lists,
talking colors, shapes and letters...
Laying down at midnight,
rethinking all that I could do better.
Sometimes feeling invisible,
not enough, not pretty, just used...
Then guilty for feeling this way--
I am not broken or abused!!
Glancing at the mirror as I pass,
Surely I don't look that bad...
Mascara under my eyes,
hair knotted up all rad.
This is all I've ever wanted...
to run a house full of kids..
To play, to laugh, to teach...
and instill what we forbid.
To show them love,
and teach them God's grace...
to mindfully slow down,
and try not to live life in a race.
Which is hard, when there's so much to do,
dinner on the stove before three...
because though I pretend to be a SAHM,
being a nurse, is still part of me.
I love it, I do.
This wild life that I live.
It's the job I dreamt of having,
since I was a tiny kid.
And looking into the eyes of perfection,
babies still adoring me...
I'll stop with the complaining... slow down..
and just let it be.