I have only gotten a handful of baths within the last 2 1/2 years- without a splash partner, a cluster of toys, and a temperature unreasonable enough to share.
Just a handful.
Tonight I set out for a soak alone.
I sneezed 873 times today, peed my pants twice, and my face is swollen and raw from snot.
I needed me-time.
(and a bladder tuck)
Maddox argued at first, tried taking his pjs off, and finally gave in to the idea that he was on the sidelines...
We had a few conversations that tickled me while I soaked:
Maddox: [giggles as he looks into the bath at me]
Me: "What's so funny?"
him: "You body looks like Mickey Mouse Club House!!"
[referring to my boobies and belly being the only thing that sticks above the water]
Me: [laughs hysterically]
Maddox: "Who does Baby Beckham look like?"
Me: "I don't know, you think maybe Daddy?"
Maddox: [looks sideways at my large belly]
"No... I think he looks like an oval."
Me: [again, laughing hard]
I finally undressed him and let him join me.
He is so fun...
and before too long he will be too old to take baths with me.
I cherish these moments.
(Even though I yearn for alone time too)
Children are so innocent and sweet... and persistent.
I need be more child-like.
Yesterday I spent a lot of the day crying.
I didn't want to have 2 negative posts in a row, so I was tempted to not share.
But this is my blog.
My place of honesty.
I'm just keeping it real! ;)
I had planned on spending the day celebrating me.
Reading more of my daily Bible...
making my burp cloths...
and keeping my house clean-- through it all, because a few of my husband's friends were coming by after work. (celebrating his last night on nights!!)
Instead, I cried...
At the drop of a hat.
I honestly believe that happiness is a choice...
and whole-heartedly, I wanted to choose happiness.
But I couldn't.
I played with Maddox--
I attempted a burp cloth... which I didn't finish...
(And it definitely could have come out better.)
And finally, I resorted to baking cupcakes-- which will always make a chunky girl smile!
Rumor has it that my company may do away with night clinic here in the near future.
Night clinic is how I gain a paycheck.
I work Saturday mornings, but that will stop once I have the baby.
So if night clinic becomes a thing of the past--
So will my employment with a company that I love.
The 3 nights a week I work, make up the bulk of my income.
I will have to start over with a job search--
One that can compete with the money I make now.
One works with mine and my husband's schedule the way that this one does.
I refuse to put 2 kids in daycare.
Financially it just doesn't make sense.
Emotionally, I could not get a grip.
Maddox hates to see anyone upset... but especially me.
He told me not to cry.
He told me I was beautiful.
And he told me I was a "great gril"
(He will make a great husband one day!)
But I couldn't stop the worry.
Nor the non-stop tears.
And his reassurance just made me feel that much more pathetic.
I recently just read the book, Heaven is for Real
From this book I gained an awesome story-- but bigger than that, I have changed the way I pray.
Jesus loves the children.
That's what the child in the book says.
And children pray unlike adults.
They are more faithful.
Matthew 18:3 (New World Translation) "and said: "Truly I say to you, Unless You turn around and become as young children, you will by no means enter into the kingdom of the heavens."