Saturday, September 8, 2012

The first of many firsts.

Wednesday, we had the first meet-the-teacher of Maddox's life, at his new school.

Lance took off work to go with me, and I have a sneaky feeling that he wished he hadn't.

Just through the doors of the main entry, I locked eyes with a semi-familiar face.
Bust since I work for the most popular practice in the DFW area, I did my "hi, how are you?" smile, and assumed that she was a patient that I couldn't place completely, and changed my eye pattern so that my forgetful mind wouldn't be given away.

It was then that I saw the, "I would rather crawl in a hole and die" look on my husband's face, that I realized that the lady I locked eyes with was his ex.

We have been together for a decade, so this is ancient history... not the kind of stuff that should even matter.  But they dated for a significant amount of time... and I think they thought they loved each other back then...  and though I know that he has no regrets or ill feelings for her...
I have no idea if she wants to kill him.

Or me.
Since I entered the picture just as she was leaving.

But it's a large building...
with multiple classes, and I figured it would be doubtful that our kids would end up being the same age...
or even if,
would be in the same class.

Well, purchase me a scratch off, we share a room!!

Luckily she left, before I pulled the Holly card, and shed my first set of tears in front of Maddox's teachers.

Lance gave his first set of come-on-Holly-you-can-pull-it-together/ apologetic-to-those-receiving-it eyes, to our teachers... and I was offered my first kleenex, for the year.

Maddox's teachers were both so, so sweet.
They both have degrees in education, and one, her master's degree.
They each have a child in kindergarten and a baby, and were both too sweet with my apprehension and questions.
I had nothing but warm, fuzzy feelings about leaving my priceless piece of art, with them.

Maddox immediately went to playing with all of the other little boys while I chatted with a familiar mom, from another day of playing at the park.
He even grabbed one of the teacher's hand and started asking questions about the bright bulletin boards and educational decorations all over the walls, while Beckham shop-lifted another kid's bag of popcorn and made himself at home amongst the other kiddos.

I had a million emotions in that room....
of being scared, and proud, and happy, and anxious...
of regret, that we didn't do this earlier... and excitement for all that he is about to experience.
I wasn't crying because I was sad.
I don't think.
It is just change.
And growth.
And another step, towards losing that baby that that I brought home from the hospital yesterday-- scared I would kill, placed on my breast, and trusted God and my husband to help me mold into the little boy that makes my heart glow with pride, today.

There will be more tears, I know it.

And as for the ex...
I will try and befriend her before the year is over with.
That's what I do.
I just can't stand to think about the elephant that will be sitting between her and I in that four year olds room.
And the way I look at it-- at some point she was his taste... as was I... so maybe we will have lots in common. 
Maybe the awkward eye contact in the lobby of the church, was really the first glance at a friendship...
coffee, movies, and shopping.
Or maybe not?

After meet the teacher, we headed to lunch and a day at the museum.
Somehow, the car led Lance us to a couple of detours, including Omaha Salvage and Backwoods, but it wasn't the first time that's happened.
And the boys enjoyed it.

The museum was empty.
We only played for a couple hours, since they closed at 5:00, but there were literally 2 other children in the entire building, another first for us, and it made for a unbelievably enjoyable time.
Thursday I got my first library card...
and checked out 2 books for my art class, and a book and a movie for the boys.
I was silly and excited, about going back again. 
Maybe once my classes are complete, I can spend time reading something other than what is mandatory from my professors, and check out real books.

Friday, I worked on my lab for Cell and Molecular Biology...
it is exciting as it's name suggests.
I will turn in my 3rd lab tomorrow, and I am proud to brag and say I have made a 100 on the first 2. 
(all 8 pages of them each.) But am sick to my stomach about the test I have this coming week, since I understand nothing, from my book.

Lance had to work late last night, so I should have completed the lab altogether but I got sucked in to the Stand up to Cancer thing that was on every local channel.
In my recliner I turned little tears into crazy tears...
and I hate it, because Maddox was a wreck about it.
He asked me if I wanted to talk about funny things or just kiss each other...
and he finally asked me if we could just change the channel.
Which we did.
Also, this week, Beckham had a first.
Well, a re-first.
Though he climbs like Maddox waited until he was 3 to do.
Can dress and undress himself....
Can eat with his utensils and drink from a cup without a lid and untie or untwist and open most anything you give him...
He hasn't said momma since he was 10 months old.
He hardly says anything, really.
So though "momma" was technically his first word, the 6 months of not hearing it has bothered me and finally I just started answering to dada, and accepted it.
I am proud to tell you, however, that 'momma' is back.
And I love it.

Today, Maddox had his first soccer game.

On the way to the game, he asked me why one little boy was on his team, when he still wore a diaper like Beckham, and couldn't talk yet.
I explained to Maddox that we shouldn't point out each others differences and he got his first lesson on how God created us each unique, and special, and important and perfect to Him.
I explained that God gave Maddox an extra big heart that helps him empathize with others, and there would come times that people would forget that the things that make us different, do not mean that we are less important and that I pray that he uses his gift to change others who are blinded with ugly words or actions.

It was a big conversation, but one we had to have, before he asked his own questions to our sweet little friend.

Maddox played so good in his game!

He is definitely a thinker, because when the others just thought about kicking it hard and running fast, Maddox changed the direction of the ball and worked more on lining his body in the right direction before kicking it.

He did not score today, but he got his first assist, as he passed it to another teammate so he could score.
Annnnd he did his first celebratory front roll, which he followed it up with a second, when they scored again!
Maddox also conned my dad out of a dollar, since "he almost scored".

They were the cutest little things running all over the field...
And I have to say that my husband looks pretty cute, wrangling the crew.     

My biggest joy, however, was when Maddox came off the field during their huddle, to grab the hand of the special-needs friend we talked about on the way to the game, and helped him out on to the field to play!
He even chanted his name and clapped for him to score, when it was his turn to sit out.

I couldn't have been more proud.

After the game, Maddox asked me to remind him his friend's name.
When I wasn't sure who he was talking about, he told me, "my friend who wears glasses",  careful not to use the things we talked about earlier, as a description.

(I know glasses are still a difference, but to me, that shows some maturity in my barely-4 year old.)

Being the fastest may not ever be in Maddox's cards...
but that heart of his will move mountains one day.
Mark my word.

After the game, we went to eat lunch at Babes and shopped the little shops in the area.
I got a yummy Granny Bee's creme brulee candle, and a coconut cupcake. 

My mom decided that Maddox needed  haircut, and offered to take him.

I needed to get him a few more things for Monday, our first day of MDO, so we split up and tackled our tasks.
I may have cried, picking out his juice boxes...
and it may be the time of my month.
So shoot me.

I found him a superhero lunchbox and a water bottle for his desk with the freezer thing in the center.

When I picked up Maddox, and realized his sun-dyed blonde locks were gone.
The tears fell.


Just another step,
to being big.

The week was full of firsts.
The first of many firsts.


  1. Oh how I wish I had blogged like this for Hunter. Memories came flooding back. I can't wait to see what an awesome young man Maddox grows into. Can i get a ticket to one of the inauguration balls when he is President.

  2. Boy, I cried through your whole's that time for me too! I love Maddox's kind heart...I know exactly who he gets that from. The ex being in the same classroom is a tough one...but you (I'm pretty sure) will be super kind and turn it into something positive. Loved this post and all your sweet pictures!

  3. many firsts. Love how you shared your range of emotions, brought back memories for me too. Have a great week.

  4. LOVE everything here.

    The sweet babes playing soccer just melt my heart.

    I knew I couldn't watch Stand Up To Cancer. I cried just thinking about the show.

    The cupcakes look delicious! I'm always a sucker for a cupcake photo. :)

    You and I wear our hearts on our sleeves. I think I cry almost every day, about something. Big or small, or in between, I am a water faucet.


  5. I love this post (I say this same thing every time I comment!) What a great week y'all had! Your boys are so adorable!! I LOVE the picture of Maddox peeing off the slide. Such a boy!

  6. Love it! One of my favorites! please please write a book it will be a best seller I'm sure of it!

  7. What a fun week of firsts! I love reading your is just like reading a book that you do not want to end. And I always love your cute pictures to go with the posts.

    Love your outfit in the meet the teacher pictures.

  8. Gosh, I knew I should have waited to check my blogger until tomorrow! All studying just came to a complete hault.

    I love your week of firsts and all of the pictures to document all of this excitement!

    You definitely have given me better ideas of ways to explain the differences in others. We have had a curious little one lately, and it's tough explaining to her why everyone is different and why it is okay.

    Thank you for your words - they are about your life, but they help me in mine. :)