and I skipped last Friday's also, too busy- trying to get the final things together for Maddox's party.
The party was fun... I'll post pics one day.
Tomorrow he actually turns 2.
Happy birthday little guy.
Today he is sick.
Hand, Foot and mouth, I think
He has the attitude of a snapping turtle.
There was a time that I thought I had this parenting thing figured out.
It use to be easy.
He was such a great baby.
He was so easy.
He's teachable. He's coachable.
He has the manners on a 10 year old.
He loves me so much.
And I love him a-million-more than that.
How can a tiny little human bring me so much joy...
And so many tears too?
This is hard.
I am failing.
This is not easy.
This, simply put, sucks.
1. Walmart trips are hard.
2. Snack time is usually difficult. If he doesn't dump his apple sauce on his head, he throws his apple jacks across the floor, or flings his body on the ground because he doesn't want to sit in his highchair.
3. These little chairs that help him to climb to the top of the world... suck. Since he has figured this little trick out, I have found him EVERYWHERE. Scary places. He is quick. And if I am anxious about this sort of stuff, my husband is nutty-paranoid-crazy!
4. My mom leaving for 3 weeks to go to London, is stressing me to the max.
I need her all the time. Especially during this rotten stage of Maddox's.
I like to call her to laugh, to cry, to brag, for advice, for boredom and anything else in between.
I miss her already but I hope she really enjoys her trip! It is a once-in-a-lifetime type thing that she is getting to do... and I can't wait to see pics and hear stories!
My dad showed me this cool website where we can track her flight. Its fun!
http://flightaware.com/live/flight/AAL50
I have been so anxious that something is going to happen while she's gone and I'm going to need her.
My brother's family and Lance's sister's family will both be on vacation this week too... I'm not even jealous that we aren't on vacation, I'm just anxious.
But I do have a husband and a huge group of friends... maybe I should focus on that?
Why am I like this??
I suck.
5. Lance's hours are beating me to the ground.
He is sick of me saying I am a single mom... but I do feel that way.
I am MORE THAN THANKFUL for him working.
But geesh!
Tackling the terrible twos alone is for the birds.
And I hate birds! :)
****
I feel obligated to leave you with a positive thought.
Understand that my life doesn't suck.
My child is the greatest thing I have ever had or done in my life.
The ABSOLUTE greatest.
100%
But I hate to feel like this.
I want to be great at being a mom.
I want to be the best.
I want to prove those people who cheer for me to fail, that I've got this.
But if I'm honest, I really don't.
Prayer would be nice.
Let go and let God, right?
I'm such a control freak.
oh you poor thing! I totally understand how you feel. I wish I had parenting down. I'm scared I'll do the wrong thing. I want a book to tell me the right thing to do- EVERY time. BUUUUUUT you are right- we have to just pray pray pray. I just picked up "The Strong Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson and so far it's a great book. And Shepherding a Child's Heart. The author's last name is Tripp. I haven't started it yet. It's just nice to read some of the stories in Dr. Dobson's book. You are a great mom- And you don't suck!! :)
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to get up there and we can sit and watch our terrible toddlers run around and wreak havoc while we talk about how to "parent" them :) Love you girl!
Okay you girls make me feel like a huge failure at parenting! I have never thought once "am I doing this right, or what can be done better" It has never crossed my mind that I should read a book about parenting. I just take it as it comes and try to solve the problem as quickly as possible! I consider myself to be a very laid back parent. As long as you aren't hurting yourself, being rude, or hurting anyone else - you can pretty much do what you want....to an extent! Maybe I should reconsider my parenting skills! If ya'll find that book that teaches you how to form a perfect child....let me know! I'd read it for sure!!
ReplyDeleteHolly - take 10 deep breaths!!! From what I've read and how involved you are with Maddox I think you are doing everything right! They don't call them the terrible two's for nothing!! You're a great parent and if you suck.....oh man I suck 10 times worse LOL
No way!!! I WISH I was laid back. My sister in law is like you. She just doesn't worry about it. She is a GREAT mom but her and I parent COMPLETELY different!
ReplyDeleteLance tries to tell me to ignore it... and that works at home... but in public I can't let it go. People start staring and go red and I start wanting to beat him to a pulp!!
I say all of the time... I can let a lot go-- when you are tired... or sick... but I can not let disrespect go. I don't care how tired/ sick you are... you can not disrespect me!
it is hard.
Sometimes terrible! ;)