Friday, November 15, 2013

one hundred facts

This thing was going around FB and I was given the number 12.
I had to come up with 12 things that others might not know about me.
I was fun so, I thought I would share my first 12 here and then challenge myself to take the list to 100!

1. I have a fear of birds… and balloons.
2. I have to be able to see my food while I eat it.
3. I have not had one day of unemployment since my first job when I was 16, and I actually enjoy working.
4. I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.
5. I have not had ground beef in a decade, except twice, while I was pregnant.
6. I love music and to dance.
7. I have always wanted to surrogate.
8. I rarely go to bed before midnight.
9. In my dream life I would live like a hippy; all earthy on a bunch of land, in an old farm house, with a huge garden, a
nd our own chickens… except my hippy house would have a closet full of expensive shoes and fabulous bags. 

10. I hate to be cold.
11. My favorite hobby is laughing.  ...And I do it often.
12. I like lists, order, reason, and schedules.

13. I hate to spend money.  Even things like gas and groceries give me anxiety.
14. I love a clean house.
15. I am not a great driver.  I have driven one car down a river and another into my own house-- while my husband was watching.
16. I was engaged at 19.  Married by 22.
17. I would love to have 4 children.
18. I talk to my mom every day.
19. I am not an animal person.  I try not to admit that, because to some people it makes you sound like a serial killer.
20. I love vegetables.
21. and home cooking.
22. I always thought I would grow up and be an actress.  Sometimes I still secretly think it is going to happen.
23. I have lived on my own, paying big people bills and contributing to a 401k since I was 20 years old.
24. I vote straight republican ballot, although I think same sex marriage should be legalized. 
25. I do not have any tattoos.  I do find them interesting and cool, but I can't stand the thought of it being permanent.
26. I have commitment issues.
27. I am not competitive or athletic.  I do enjoy the outfits however.
28. My vertical jump is worse than my 2 year olds. 
29. Pinesol makes me happy.
30. I feel that you can never have too many monogrammed pieces, too many glasses of sweet tea, I always have the ceiling fan on and I like to cuss when I am mad.  I am born and raised in Texas, if you can't tell...
31. Both of my kids have last names for first names.
32. Holly is actually my middle name.
33. I love Jimmy Fallon, Wendy Williams, Bethany Frankle, and anything on BRAVO.
34. I rarely sit down when I am home.
35. I wish more than anything that I could sing or play an instrument.
36. I make my bed, as soon as I get up each morning-- and can not get into a bed that is not made.
37. I drink a cup of coffee every morning, and Beckham gets at least 2 drinks from every cup!
38. I don't think that I am a very compassionate person.  I have zero tolerance for people who abuse themselves with drugs or alcohol or medications.  I pray that my children never choose any of these things not only because of their detriment, but because I have no desire to help self destructive people and I fear that I would turn my back on them.  
39. I believe that Lance and I both married our eternal best friends, but not necessarily our soul mates.
40. I am not a huge fan of chocolate, however I can eat my weight in chocolate covered strawberries.
41. I am told that I look like my Nana, and I take it as a compliment.
42. I worry every day if I am a good enough momma and it makes me feel guilty when other girls tell me that they want to be a mom like me.  ...because I mess up daily.
43. I do not have a green thumb.
44. I am an exceptional deal finder and refuse to pay full price for clothing.  
45. I married a good man.  He honestly loves me unconditionally.  For better and worse.  Against all and everyone. In good times and in bad. …12 years later, it is still hard to comprehend.
46. I hate change.
47. I hate to talk on the phone, and rarely answer phone calls.  I am quick to text, however.
48. I love to be creative and feel that I am capable of doing most things a man can do.  I refuse to do them however, because I have enough shit on my list. :)
49. I have planned my husbands life for him, if I were to die.  …Who I would want him to marry, how I want him to spend the life insurance money, and what I expect for the boys.  It is kind of creepy, but I feel the need to do it.
50. I have a huge head.  I was made fun of it in school and called alien-head.  I once told Maddox about it, as a point to prove something else.  Randomly, he still brings it up just to tell me that it hurts his feelings for me.  Partly it makes me love his sweet heart, and partly it still hurts to hear-- even from the mouth of a 5 year old who adores me.   
51. I have sincerely great friends in my adult life.  Genuinely good people, who make this world a better place.  I cling to each of them for different things, and I use them in my day to day life even when they do not know I do or I don't talk to them for months.  Each one, inspire me in different ways. 
52. My hair is as fine as a 2 year old and if it is down, you can guarantee I am wearing clip in extensions of human hair to thicken it.  
53. I have not seen my natural hair color on my head since the 90's.  I think it is similar to my brothers color though, dirty blonde/ mousy brown.
54. I love to make other people happy… even if it is just smiling or making quick conversation with a stranger.
55. I am pro life.
56. The sound of my kids praying makes my heart swell like a sail.
57. My eyes are my favorite feature about myself.
58. My teeth are my least favorite.
59. I don't eat seafood.
60. Or hotdogs, bologna, and smooched together chicken nuggets.
61. I am not very patient.  
62. I am not a very good speller, and hardly ever proof-read. Which is unfair, since I red-pen most statuses in my head when I read them. 
63. When I am cleaning a room, I like to turn a lamp on when I am finished.  I love lamps.
64. I don't wear lipstick.  Just chapstick or gloss.
65. I love 90s rap.  Word for word, I can still spit a beat.
66. I have a overabundant obsession with the need to be fair.  Obviously, I am the middle child.
67. I do not believe that mint and chocolate should go together.
68. I claim to be simple, but things like the heated leather seats, automatic windshield wipers, remote start and the backup camera on my car makes my heart swoon.
69. I don't 'do' scary.
70. I cry easily and get my feelings hurt easily.
71. I secretly share funny (and sometimes inappropriate) things with Candace on the daily.  It is kind of like my adult time each night.
72. I still feel home when I go home… even though I have never lived in the home my parents do now.
73. I love old stories and rehashing memories.  Even if they aren't mine.
74. I have never been camping in a tent.
75. I hate to vacuum, but not as much as I hate laundry.
76. I don't wear perfume.  All girl fragrances smell yuck on me-- and I assume it would be weird if i wore men's cologne?!
77. I cut my boys hair myself.  I have an ungodly amount of friends (and family) who are hairdressers so I try to not make this public knowledge.  I justify it by reminding myself that they wear a hat most of the time and I live by the same logic when I cut it too short.
78. I also color my own hair, all but about once a year when I splurge and treat myself to a discounted cut and color from my fabulous sister-in-law.
79. I have amazing sister-in-laws.  They are not only family, but my friends too. 
80. I always eat the burnt piece or pretend to not be hungry if I can tell there won't be enough.  I get up approximately 3 times during dinner to cater to take someone potty, get more tea, or fetch a condiment.  I watched my mom do this my entire life-- and never even realized the day I had transformed myself to her.
81. I have a crazy need to befriend people and please others.  Maddox is the same way and I wish I could take that from him, because it can be a very exhausting and heart-aching.  
82. My sister is one of my best friends.  Unfortunately it took us most of our lives to get here. 
90. I bought more pedicures in the last year for other people than I did myself.  But before I sound like a patriarch, I only bought myself one.  (and was gifted two.)
91. I am inappropriate and annoying sometimes and a drip of alcohol in my veins turns "sometimes" into the "entire time".  
92. My OB/GYN told me "nurture trumps nature" when I was pregnant with Maddox.  I took it for truth and parent by that standard… I rarely leave my children for many reasons, but mainly because they are mine-- and my opportunity to raise and mold into good people.  
93. I eat ketchup on my tacos.  Minus the meat, of course.
94. I think that convicted sex offenders should be eligible for death row.
95. No one in this world annoys me like my husband does.  He is like living with a 14 year old child.  He is also the funniest person I know.
96. I was on a team who went to Nationals in FHA as an 8th grader or parliamentary procedure, and won.  I also went to Nationals in cheerleading as a sophomore… although we didn't have the same results!
97. I am very anxious when it comes to my children.  I blog because it is a way to tattoo every step into something concrete… hopefully slowing the process of them growing up.  I love to see them learn and mature but I hate the process at the same time.  Almost daily I worry about the day that I won't be able to physically pick them up anymore; which is weird.
98. Pinterest has turned me into a pretend virtual shopper for almost everyone I know.  Like I think that I could style them and decorate their houses for them, just by what they pin.  I am also pretty sure which ones are madly in love and which ones are looking to hit the road.     
99.  I believe in the greater good and that small efforts can cause great change.   
100. I honestly love my life and am bewildered by God's graciousness to let me live the life that I do.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

oh November

Historically, November is a stressful month for me.
It took me a few years to realize it, but everything always seems harder in November.

Time, finances, too much to do…
allergies, cooler weather,
and my marriage has made the list a few times as well.

I have acknowledged my stressors, however, and I am going into this month more prepared!

I promised Lance that I am not going to worry about the money.  We have it, Christmas comes every year… no need to make it a worry that it doesn't have to be.

I am not going to worry about the rush.  We will make it where we can, when we can, and since it is absolutely impossible to make every single place, exactly when it was planned to be-- we will do the best we can, and not worry too much past that.

And the biggest promise I made:
I am not going to take any stress that somehow fights its way past the gates I listed above, out on my husband.
And more than that,
I am not going to let the boys feel any of that nonsense either.
I want them to have memories of jolly holidays and fun times with family, not stress and bitterness and chaos.

That sweet boy of mine said a simple prayer the other night...
After he thanked God for each family member he said, "and dear God, thank you for letting me have such a happy life".

God assigned me a complex job in being a mother,
one that I fail often...
but I am so glad that Maddox is happy.
That was a God-hug for Lance and I.

***
November has gotten off to a great start!

Maddox had his last soccer game of the season last Saturday.
We went to Esperanzas for breakfast after the game, and then on to Mom and Dave's that afternoon.




We shot a few of Lance's dad's new guns, rode the 4wheeler, played dominoes and mom and I got crafty.






The boys and I decided to stay the night, and mom and I spent the next day making bracelets.
While the boys played...
Or worked...
Or battled each other with some metal rod things designed to pop an eye out....
depending on who you ask!


Monday night, Maddox had his end of the year award ceremony for soccer.
He received his first ever trophy, which he was pretty stoked about...
And the juggling act was pretty neat too!


As a mommy, however, the highlight of my evening was when Maddox decided to donate his jersey to a Mission for a group of kids in Honduras.
We had told him that it was an option while we were getting ready and he immediately said, "no daddy,  I want to keep it."  He must have been thinking about it our entire drive there though, because as soon as we pulled up he said, "Is it okay if I change my mind?  I want to give my jersey to another kid so he can play too."  We told him that we were so proud of his big decision, and we could tell that he was pretty proud of himself too, as he pulled his jersey off and put it into the box.



Tuesday, wasn't quite as exceptional to start...

I was folding towels and watching B dress up in belts and boots while Maddox played Star Wars Legos -- when I got a phone call from my boss asking me if I was almost to the office.


I had completely written the day down wrong and I was supposed to be teaching a luncheon at the office.
In which I live 45 minutes away from.
It was already catered and the other nurse's schedules had been blocked for the meeting.
I felt so terrible, but without showers, or anyone to watch the boys-- We clothed, sped and somehow made it to the last half while my sister from another mister, Candace, took the first half for me on a last minute whim!

It ended up going really well and I couldn't have been more proud of the boys!  They were quiet and still and just perfect, honestly.
(although I should probably give half the credit to electronics!)


We love us some electronics!


Friday, I woke with an urge to chop off my hair.
I subsided the urge by cutting my bangs instead… that I have been growing out… since July.


And we met up with Lance for Lunch at his store… who told me that he liked them better before… once they were already gone… and there was no way to make them come back.
Oh well.

Lance had a game Friday evening,
and I had a snuggle date with two tiny hunks.



My step mom had asked if the boys could stay the night with her about a week ago.
I honestly didn't think that they would stay, since they are kind of attached to my hip and have hardly ever, never, ever, sleep anywhere- without me.

But Julie had made the brave adventure into all the cousins and Maddox told us that he wanted to stay the night and he would watch out for B, and make sure he didn't get sad for me.

I left for work at 7:00am Saturday and by the time I made it home, my ducks had already left their nest.


I knew they were busy having fun with Gunner and Ellie and took a hold of the opportunity to have a child-free evening with my husband.


We had Mi Cocina at 3:30 in the afternoon-- and kept it real wild by choosing the 6:00 movie.
Which Lance picked…
But I must say: Captain Phillips was really good!

My step mom sent me a text letting me know that they were all happy and playing...

And another at 9:00, letting me know that Ellie, Gunner, and Beckham had all crashed; and Maddox wasn't far behind.

I didn't want to go home after our movie, so we decided to go watch the rest of the Texas game at Twin Peaks.
It is new-- and we had never been,
but aside from the excess in belly bling and the VS Bombshells a'plenty; it was great.

Lance had a 28 degree beer with frozen frost and I had a drink and fried pickles.
Texas won…
We chatted with a nice couple…
and I got to wear my tortoise shell and larimar bracelet that Lance bought me on our honeymoon and I had "misplaced"for the last 7 years!


We bailed out after the game.
I was exhausted and ready for bed, and without any pediatric knees in my back,
I slept like a rock.

This morning, I should have sat, or read, or slept some more...
but instead I cleaned...
In silence.

And drank an entire cup of coffee while still hot, or without sharing a drink one with B.

The kids looked spent when I picked them up…
And Julie said they played hard.

Two minutes into the door, Beckham spilled my cherry-vanilla coke all over my freshly mopped floor and the play room was hit by an atomic bomb.

The chaos and mess and laughter and squeals are back,
The silence is gone,
and everyone is 1 inch from my face like it is their last hope at oxygen.

The pace went from zero to 4 million in a matter of minutes and we are back to reality.
My reality.
Just the way I like it!


Oh November.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Hallowen 2013

Sometimes I do dumb things, like wake up from a sound sleep to tell Lance how to spend his life insurance policy if I were to die.
I am not sure why I do things like that, but what you probably don't know is that Lance has anxiety too…
Thankfully his worries are almost always on different platforms than mine, so we aren't usually drowning on the same subjects.
It was 6:30 Thursday morning and though he agreed to not buy a bunch of dumb crap that I keep him from buying on the daily, and agreed that paying off our home loan and using it as a rental for some income was a good idea-- 
he didn't want to leave.

So he woke up Maddox and took a piece of "us" with him.
They ran errands all the way to Carrollton and Beckham and I slept in.

I had planned on picking Maddox up from Lance around noon and Candace asked if we wanted to join her and a cute little puppy dog for lunch.
It only made sense to accept the offer… we were already in the area!

Our little hens were the only kids in costume, and created lots of oohs and ahhs in the dining room.

Beckham took his costume very seriously and refused to take it off to eat or even play in the play center.



I surprised Maddox with his costume at the store and of course he had to put it right on and show it off!
We were bummed to see that the mustache had been taken from our set, and Maddox was over the inflatable belly pretty quickly.


We ran to Dollar General and to WalMart searching for a mustache to purchase.
Apparently a local school had "mustache day" the day before and there wasn't lip-hair for miles.

Which is probably fine because Maddox was specific as to what Mario's mustache looks like.
"It goes up-down-up-down… not down-up-down-up", he said...
He even made me stare at a picture of Mario when I drew it on to make sure I got it right!

Again, they were the only kiddos in costume, so they go to impromptu trick-or-treat in the WalMart from a few employees!


Every year, we have gone to Bridgeport to trick-or-treat with our cousins.
We honestly weren't sure where or what the kids were going to do this year down to the last hour that we went out.

David stopped by on his way home to see the kids outfits and mom stayed and walked the streets with us.
Call was great, and we realized that we have been doing it wrong every year!

Our community really does Halloween up right.
The people were so friendly, the kids got about 10 times the candy (that they do not need) and it wasn't crowded at all.

It reminded me of what trick or treating in the movies looks like.


Our neighbor Kelly got the boys each a special prize; a Mario tin full of candy for Maddox and a funny teeth sucker for B.



After one block, I had to take a detour back for the jogging stroller because Beckham started complaining that his belly hurt.
He would ride, hop out and say "trick or treat" at every house…
and Maddox reminded him to say "thank you" at every door if he wasn't quick enough.

The poor little thing was called a girl all night, as people gushed about how cute "she" was.
I didn't correct them…
and Beckham didn't seem to notice as all of his energy was put into picking out just one piece of candy without taking off his mitten with no fingers.




We all got tickled when a little doll about Beckham's age, dressed as Minnie Mouse came walking up with her bag of loot.
I said, "look B!  It's Minnie!", He turned around star-struck and just simply and without much enthusiasm, said, "whoa."


Some of our friends in the community, along with a few of their neighbors created a haunted house out of their garages.
They let you in a family at a time and toned it way down for us.
It was really neat!
Kelly kept Beckham while we went in, but one garage was enough for Maddox and he decided to bail out!

We slid over to Sonic for 50 cent corn dogs after the festivities and Beckham decided to bail out on it all, on the ride home!


Halloween 2013 was definitely my favorite.
Probably because both of my kids are now old enough to truly enjoy themselves…
and also because I finally splurged and let them actually be their favorite characters.
It was money well spent.

***
Now just for fun, here's a Halloween flashback:

Maddox...
Beckham...

Where has time gone?