Wednesday, September 12, 2012

First week...

We started MDO.

Sunday night, Maddox was down and asleep by 7:40.
He is, and always has been, a night owl, so this was one of my biggest concerns for starting school.
So far, however, it has fixed itself.

I cleaned up dinner, ironed clothes, stuffed the lunch box, and was whipping around my house like a mad woman, sweeping, mopping and even scrubbing my kitchen cabinets with wood cleaner when Lance finally paused the tv, and said, "are you nesting?"

And I realized I was.
Apparently that feeling you get right before you bring a baby bird home into your nest, is the same feeling you get right before you let them fly.

That night, I had a scary dream that I was trying to protect Maddox and run from someone who was trying to get us, so I had an un-restful night, and a subconscious mind torturing me.

Lance went in late to work so that he could be there for Maddox's first day, and I was glad he did.

Typically Lance is our weakest link, changing outfits and thinking things need to be ironed, or changing hats, etc. again and again....
But Monday, he was the glue, and even made the PB&J for me, cutting it into dinosaurs, just like I do, and helped us get out the door on time.

Maddox gave us our kisses goodbye and walked in, all smiles.
And to the surprise of everyone, I left the same way.

I picked him up, expecting a non-stop talking boy and stories upon stories about his day... 
but instead, he looked like a zombie and though he had nothing bad to say about his day,
he had no great news either.
And within minutes, he was snoring on my bed.
Beckham and I have enjoyed our time together while brother is away.
He is a different kid without the competition of attention of Maddox around.
I hope to have more one on one time to teach him more words and get his cute little mouth talking!
...or we will keep grunting, and saying mama, dada, and dipe-dipe, and that will be fine too.
Today, Lance happened to be off work and he was able to take him with me, again.
We went for donuts before, and then Lance and I had a day filled with chores and running around town with our little side-kick.
We arrived a little early to pick Maddox up, but I was afraid that he would see other mommies and think that his wasn't coming, so we went ahead and went in.

Guess who else was early?

The ex.

But it was good.
We were stuck together in a hallway and Lance finally spoke and said, "Hey.  How are you." 
She introduced herself to me and apologized for avoiding us before but didn't know if it would be awkward for me.
She was really, really nice and I am glad we got the ceremony out of the way.
Now we can get on to other things, like the school parties!

***
Though the boys week was fabulous,
I had a busy week of call, a doctor's appointment, a schedule to make for work, studying, a quiz, a trip in to my office for my flu mist, a test, and a play date planned.

So far, my pager quit working, I cancelled the dr appointment, screwed up the schedule, got kicked off of the internet during my quiz (and am not sure I will get the opportunity to retake it, and even if I do-- it is due on Friday and Lance and I are opposite schedules between now and then so I get to juggle boys and a timed test at retake, IF I get a retake, that is), just printed my notes today to study for my test, cried to my not-sympathetic husband and swear I have West Nile.

Nicolle, I may be cancelling on you too.
I hope not.
But I'd be embarrassed to cry in our first real meeting.
And right now, I am a bit overwhelmed.

So I am barrelling down a pan of no bake cookies.
Straight from the pan and still hot.

And then I am going to bed.

The first week of school was great for my diddle.
The fourth week of college was hard for me.

But it means that I am half way finished with these 2 classes...

I can do it.
We can do it.

Even if there are tears the entire way,
there have been nothing but smiles from my boy, and that's what matters most!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The first of many firsts.

Wednesday, we had the first meet-the-teacher of Maddox's life, at his new school.

Lance took off work to go with me, and I have a sneaky feeling that he wished he hadn't.

Just through the doors of the main entry, I locked eyes with a semi-familiar face.
Bust since I work for the most popular practice in the DFW area, I did my "hi, how are you?" smile, and assumed that she was a patient that I couldn't place completely, and changed my eye pattern so that my forgetful mind wouldn't be given away.

It was then that I saw the, "I would rather crawl in a hole and die" look on my husband's face, that I realized that the lady I locked eyes with was his ex.

We have been together for a decade, so this is ancient history... not the kind of stuff that should even matter.  But they dated for a significant amount of time... and I think they thought they loved each other back then...  and though I know that he has no regrets or ill feelings for her...
I have no idea if she wants to kill him.

Or me.
Since I entered the picture just as she was leaving.

But it's a large building...
with multiple classes, and I figured it would be doubtful that our kids would end up being the same age...
or even if,
would be in the same class.

Well, purchase me a scratch off, we share a room!!

Luckily she left, before I pulled the Holly card, and shed my first set of tears in front of Maddox's teachers.

Lance gave his first set of come-on-Holly-you-can-pull-it-together/ apologetic-to-those-receiving-it eyes, to our teachers... and I was offered my first kleenex, for the year.

Maddox's teachers were both so, so sweet.
They both have degrees in education, and one, her master's degree.
They each have a child in kindergarten and a baby, and were both too sweet with my apprehension and questions.
I had nothing but warm, fuzzy feelings about leaving my priceless piece of art, with them.

Maddox immediately went to playing with all of the other little boys while I chatted with a familiar mom, from another day of playing at the park.
He even grabbed one of the teacher's hand and started asking questions about the bright bulletin boards and educational decorations all over the walls, while Beckham shop-lifted another kid's bag of popcorn and made himself at home amongst the other kiddos.

I had a million emotions in that room....
of being scared, and proud, and happy, and anxious...
of regret, that we didn't do this earlier... and excitement for all that he is about to experience.
I wasn't crying because I was sad.
I don't think.
It is just change.
And growth.
And another step, towards losing that baby that that I brought home from the hospital yesterday-- scared I would kill, placed on my breast, and trusted God and my husband to help me mold into the little boy that makes my heart glow with pride, today.

There will be more tears, I know it.

And as for the ex...
I will try and befriend her before the year is over with.
That's what I do.
I just can't stand to think about the elephant that will be sitting between her and I in that four year olds room.
And the way I look at it-- at some point she was his taste... as was I... so maybe we will have lots in common. 
Maybe the awkward eye contact in the lobby of the church, was really the first glance at a friendship...
coffee, movies, and shopping.
Or maybe not?



After meet the teacher, we headed to lunch and a day at the museum.
Somehow, the car led Lance us to a couple of detours, including Omaha Salvage and Backwoods, but it wasn't the first time that's happened.
And the boys enjoyed it.

The museum was empty.
We only played for a couple hours, since they closed at 5:00, but there were literally 2 other children in the entire building, another first for us, and it made for a unbelievably enjoyable time.
Thursday I got my first library card...
and checked out 2 books for my art class, and a book and a movie for the boys.
I was silly and excited, about going back again. 
Maybe once my classes are complete, I can spend time reading something other than what is mandatory from my professors, and check out real books.


Friday, I worked on my lab for Cell and Molecular Biology...
it is exciting as it's name suggests.
I will turn in my 3rd lab tomorrow, and I am proud to brag and say I have made a 100 on the first 2. 
(all 8 pages of them each.) But am sick to my stomach about the test I have this coming week, since I understand nothing, from my book.

Lance had to work late last night, so I should have completed the lab altogether but I got sucked in to the Stand up to Cancer thing that was on every local channel.
In my recliner I turned little tears into crazy tears...
and I hate it, because Maddox was a wreck about it.
He asked me if I wanted to talk about funny things or just kiss each other...
and he finally asked me if we could just change the channel.
Which we did.
Also, this week, Beckham had a first.
Well, a re-first.
Though he climbs like Maddox waited until he was 3 to do.
Can dress and undress himself....
Can eat with his utensils and drink from a cup without a lid and untie or untwist and open most anything you give him...
He hasn't said momma since he was 10 months old.
He hardly says anything, really.
So though "momma" was technically his first word, the 6 months of not hearing it has bothered me and finally I just started answering to dada, and accepted it.
I am proud to tell you, however, that 'momma' is back.
momma-momma-momma.
And I love it.

Today, Maddox had his first soccer game.

On the way to the game, he asked me why one little boy was on his team, when he still wore a diaper like Beckham, and couldn't talk yet.
I explained to Maddox that we shouldn't point out each others differences and he got his first lesson on how God created us each unique, and special, and important and perfect to Him.
I explained that God gave Maddox an extra big heart that helps him empathize with others, and there would come times that people would forget that the things that make us different, do not mean that we are less important and that I pray that he uses his gift to change others who are blinded with ugly words or actions.

It was a big conversation, but one we had to have, before he asked his own questions to our sweet little friend.

Maddox played so good in his game!

He is definitely a thinker, because when the others just thought about kicking it hard and running fast, Maddox changed the direction of the ball and worked more on lining his body in the right direction before kicking it.

He did not score today, but he got his first assist, as he passed it to another teammate so he could score.
Annnnd he did his first celebratory front roll, which he followed it up with a second, when they scored again!
Maddox also conned my dad out of a dollar, since "he almost scored".

They were the cutest little things running all over the field...
And I have to say that my husband looks pretty cute, wrangling the crew.     

My biggest joy, however, was when Maddox came off the field during their huddle, to grab the hand of the special-needs friend we talked about on the way to the game, and helped him out on to the field to play!
He even chanted his name and clapped for him to score, when it was his turn to sit out.

I couldn't have been more proud.



After the game, Maddox asked me to remind him his friend's name.
When I wasn't sure who he was talking about, he told me, "my friend who wears glasses",  careful not to use the things we talked about earlier, as a description.

(I know glasses are still a difference, but to me, that shows some maturity in my barely-4 year old.)

Being the fastest may not ever be in Maddox's cards...
but that heart of his will move mountains one day.
Mark my word.

After the game, we went to eat lunch at Babes and shopped the little shops in the area.
I got a yummy Granny Bee's creme brulee candle, and a coconut cupcake. 


My mom decided that Maddox needed  haircut, and offered to take him.

I needed to get him a few more things for Monday, our first day of MDO, so we split up and tackled our tasks.
I may have cried, picking out his juice boxes...
and it may be the time of my month.
So shoot me.

I found him a superhero lunchbox and a water bottle for his desk with the freezer thing in the center.

When I picked up Maddox, and realized his sun-dyed blonde locks were gone.
The tears fell.

Again.

Just another step,
to being big.

The week was full of firsts.
The first of many firsts.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Labor Day staycation

We had big plans for camping...
but Maddox started running a fever, and telling us his forehead hurt and we decided to throw a curve ball, and have a stay-cation at my parents, instead.

Saturday night, my brother's kids came over to spend the night too.
Our kids play so well together, and I can listen to them play for hours.
Funny things!

Maddox and Gunner are two peas in a pod, while Ellie is the little momma to Beckham.
It may be braggy to say it...
but we have some pretty good chicklins.
They are kind and smart...
and yeah, "they is important".  ;)

And together, they play until they have dirt in their ears and not another ounce of energy to give.

I love those babies.








Now one thing that I can say about those sweet Eyster babies,
....is they don't sleep worth a shit.

Down at almost midnight, up by 7:30.
By 8:00, we were on the back porch, going at it again.

The boys boys instantly went to climbing and getting dirty...
And mom had Ellie's twirling dress washed and folded, so she could get back to spinning early.

My SIL picked up the kids by 11:00, I think...
We layed around a bit and then had an early dinner at Fuzzy's.
And came home so that the boys could do boy things.




Which was great.
Because mom and I bathed the boys, put them to bed, and did girl things.
So much for calling my brother's kids out though...
because mine were up by 7:30 this morning...
and back to the porch we went!

After breakfast, we had to head home so that Lance could mow, and I could read my chapters and take my quiz and we could get the house back in order, etc.
Oh, and I had a chilly penguin.

Hello...
I was in the neighborhood.
Unfortunately, I made an 88 on my art quiz, and I really wanted to make an A, so I was kind of bummed.
But I did make a 100 on my Cell and Molecular Biology lab....
So go figure.

My mom gave me some words of encouragement, and I am just going to move forward.
Next week I have a test in my biology class, and I am just going to pray for a D on that one.
(my sister assures me it is passing!)
And since I feel like I am reading another language with every chapter...
And my labs have taken me anywhere from 11 hours to 3 days at this point,
I will be thrilled with a 60! 

***
Tomorrow is soccer practice, again.
Wednesday is meet the teacher...
Saturday is our first game...
And Monday I trust my kid with a stranger for the first time in his 49 months of life.

But we are ready!
And excited!