ducks in a row.

I have told you before that I am a list maker.
I make lists...
and lists of my lists...
and calendars...
reminders...
charts-- what ever I can...

It keeps me happy.
(and I have been known to write things on my list, after I have already done them-- just to experience the pleasure of the single line, marking it off!)

I like structure and to have my ducks in  row. 

Tonight, Maddox has soccer "try outs".
They all make the team, but they attempt to even the kids out so that one team isn't "stacked", etc.

I will be at work, and I hate that.

Lance will be all business, and I would be all cheerleader...
but instead I will be all nurse-- and 30 miles away.

I am sure he will do great!
He has been practicing, and in his mommy's eyes, he's a natural!

But he also gets tired... and thirsty...
And that comes from his mommy too!

Monday, I start school.
I rented my books this weekend and am going to pay my final payment tonight...
It is real.
I am a student of UTA.


I have worked hard to organize closets and drawers, and stay on top of every load of laundry leading up to the day...
I am trying to take care of the things that overwhelm my mind, because I know me.
It is going to be difficult, for sure...
but I am doing my best to tackle the things I can now, that will torture me later!
(and hopefully get everyone into a routine of helping me each other)


Oddly, even with everything falling into our lap at once...
and I am not overwhelmed.
Yet.

Lance even surprised me by getting our shower fixed!
It is funny how far your 'wants' change, the older we get!
Our renters cracked the bottom of the free-standing shower in our bathroom and we have been back here for a year now, still unable to use it.
I keep a running list on the fridge of crap we need to get taken care of, and there are only a few things not crossed off, all belonging to Lance.
I try not to rub his face in it like a puppy,
but I would be a liar to say that I don't remind him.

He didn't tell me until last night, when Rob came over to do the final (smelly) touches, and I was so excited to take a shower that I didn't have to move 57 toys from beneath my feet before hopping in.

Marked it off the list!


I work all 4 days this week.
Call, all 4 too.

Normally, I would act like that one extra day was going to do me in...
but today, I just see it as extra money...
and a good reason to stay home and organize more!

I think I am nesting.
I need more crates.
And trash cans.

We are refinancing our house.
I am nervous about the entire process, but we can get a 3% better interest rate, so we would be fools not to do it.
And with the money we save on our monthly payments, there...
we shouldn't notice the land payment at all.

And if it all falls into place just right,
We should be able to skip a house payment!
Meaning that I can do all of my Christmas shopping in one visit, and not stress like I do every year.

We went to the bank on Friday and have all of our finances squared away on the land too.
We got a better interest rate than we had planned... and cheaper payment.
We celebrated with sweets!
And then dinner with Lance's sister and her family.

Yesterday during dinner, we found out that my parents gifted the survey to us,
which was a huge blessing, as well!!

Thank you guys!

We should close in the next 2 weeks, and we will finally the the owners of 10 acres in Paradise!
We hope to build in 3-5 years, depending on how our market here, changes.
(^^read that sentence again, mom.  Three to five years.)  ;)
My mom wants us out there yesterday!

Maddox still has 4 weeks until he starts pre-k, and he has started getting anxious.
He started by telling me that I would be sad without him so he would just stay home...
and now he admits that he will be sad.
But I am ready.

Not for him to leave me (right now, he is the easier child!) but I am excited for him to meet friends, and paint and color and learn things that I don't know to teach him!
I am excited for parties and teachers gifts and all things crafty too.
I am excited to watch him wave bye at me and rush to me when his day is over.

We are not talking about school at all for a little bit...
But we are excited!

Finally, we went to Denton yesterday to celebrate our niece, Landry's, 10th birthday.
I remember the day she was born, like it was yesterday.
Lance and I could not wait until the weekend, so that we could rush out to Runaway Bay and hold her.
And that was a decade ago!
Wow.

Tell me that Maddox won't be 10 that fast.
It is not on the list!

I am finished with my Pepsi, and the dinger just sounded on the dryer.
Back to cleaning I go!

for a few days...

I want to tie my loose ends, so that I can participate in 10 on 10, tomorrow.
So this blog, again, is going to be all over the place.

But that's how that works, when you are type A, like myself...

I feel like if there are these unblogged topics floating around, it would be irresponsible to post 10 pictures of randomness... and if I did... and then went back and posted the few unmentioned topics in my brain right now, my world would be out of order... and confusing and awful.

So here goes (as I eat my cucumber... and realize that it is the only food that I ate today-- omiting my McFlurry... and add it to the list of "crap to do better tomorrow".)

Tuesday I moved my car out of the garage and turned it into a play area for Kyleigh and Maddox while B napped.
I had an idea to move our Lab, Toby, to the garage also, and give him a break from our torturous heat.
He enjoyed laying around while they slid and drew and played all around him.

Once Beckham woke up, me and the kids went back inside and left him to relax.

I cracked the garage about a foot, to let fresh air in...
and it started to rain.

Apparently Toby figured it was cooler outside, so he went exploring.

Thankfully, some new people around the corner had found him and though I was relieved that I didn't have to tell Lance that I had lost his dog-- he spent the rest of his day in the back yard.

Where he will stay.

Wednesday, we faced the dreaded checkups.

 
Maddox weighed 36 1/2 lbs and was 41 1/2" tall.
Beckham weighed 23lbs 14oz and was 32 3/4" tall.

We switched pediatricians, this visit, due to better schedules and were very pleased with our visit.
I got no lip about Beckham still not completely being weened.
She made no aggressive comments about my alternate vaccine schedule...
and when I told her that I was anxious about MMR since Beckham is only saying one word, she simply said, "then let's wait."

And we did.

Maddox was as brave as any four year old ever is, for his shots.

I went ahead and had him get all four that were due, rather than splitting them like I always have, because I thought that his anxiety had to trump mine, this time.
And now he is complete until he is 11.

Thank the Lord.

My heart was torn into pieces by the tears of both of my kiddos though, and it was difficult to split my TLC between the 2 of them.
I was very glad, however, that Lance took off of work to go with me...
but honestly, I really just needed two of me.

I was also thankful to the great co-workers I have, who showered them both with attention, praise and little goodies.
I know it made them feel special!

We met my parents for dinner after the visit, and then stopped at the dollar store so that Maddox could pick out a toy for being so brave.

He chose a bag of new army men and a Captain American figurine.

Beckham got a dose of Motrin...
and lots of snuggles.

Today the boys were better...
and they spent their day playing with our friend Audrey.

Candace, had plans in Weatherford and asked if I could keep her sweet girl.

The babies played so well together and Maddox was incredibly sweet to them both by keeping them happy and entertained.

At one point Beckham and Audrey were both laughing, and were getting more tickeled as they would watch the other, laugh.
It was too cute and made Maddox and I laugh equally as hard.

 Maddox is not one to be trumped however...
And although, I think he may have taken his "entertainment" a bit far...

I spent 4 hours organizing the boys' closet, so I appreciated his help!

***
We had a great day,
But tonight, I ended on a sad note.

My partner in crime, Raine, turned in her key...
and we worked our final shift together.

She is one of the sweetest people I have had the opportunity to know.
She is smart, hard working, funny... and was the perfect partner for me.

I am really emotional (as you know) and so I did my best to not shed tears tonight as we left.

Though I am excited for her new adventures in work, marriage, and life-- out near her family...
I will miss her dearly.

Dearly.

I will be praying for her Tuesday as she takes her test to turn in her LVN license and become an RN... I will keep planning her pinterest wedding for her... and stalking her FB and Instagram as if things are still the same.
I will continue to remind her how lucky she is to be young and free to be a gypsy for a while...
but I will miss her.

Like crazy.

Well, it is midnight,
and the house is snoring...

I am off to join them,
See you tomorrow for 10 on 10!

catching up

I haven't blogged in a week.

Mainly because I was in a bad mood for a few days and felt like anything I would have to say, you wouldn't want to hear.

Like the fact that the $100 I paid for our "free" gift card to Great Wolf Lodge, was a joke.
I was mad.
But I am getting a refund.
The 4 hours we spent in Dallas listening to a BS sales pitch, not so much.

But I got rest...
and I feel better.

However, now I have too much to say.

Lance has been working every single day for over a month, now.
They are on the cusp of opening up 2 new stores, and his partner in crime, Josh, has been hospitalized for a foot infection/ surgery.
So Lance has been on his own.

He leaves work most days by 3:00, so it isn't like we haven't seen him-- but he's tired and crabby and less help than normal.

One night, recently, I went to bed praying that he would see me in a different light-- appreciate all that I do for him and realize that I am worth a little more than he was showing me... find me prettier, more interesting, highlight my positives... realize that someone out there could see me attractive and worth something if he couldn't.

But what I heard was what he needed from me...
How I could be better for him.
How I don't see him this way... so why should he?

God's a quirky guy, I suppose.
And it paid off.

He and Maddox greeted me after work one night last week to a special candlelight dinner.

As I walked through the door, I saw the lights were off-- except one flickering candle on the table.
The the song that Lance and I danced to at our wedding, started playing and then both boys came to greet me.
Maddox pulled out my chair, and served me tea in a wine glass.
He grinned from ear to ear our entire meal, and I could tell he was so proud of his presentation!

And I was pretty impressed by his daddy's thoughtfulness.

Maddox still looks so little to me....
But there are so many big-boy changes coming his way.

Last week, a former coach of mine posted a video of her little boy reading.
The book was repetitive "at" sounds and I thought that may be something that I should start working on with Maddox.

We headed off the 1/2 price books but came away empty handed.
I found a section of them at Target, but they did not have to brand that she had.

Maddox ended up picking out the "pre-K" Superhero book and we took it home to practice.

What a joke!
The book about "Aquatica", "Superman" and other impossible superheros and they were chasing "pigeons" and "ostriches".
None of which were Pre-K words.

Maddox has a great memory, so he could repeat the book back to me after I read it twice, but there was no "reading" involved.

He has known his letters and their sounds for years now, but I wasn't sure how to tack it all together.
 I decided to jot a few words down on the ipad, to see where he was at.  Without problem, he read.

He didn't need me.

He breezed through 'cat'.  He read 'bat', and 'dog' and 'red' and 'tub' and 'jam'.
I actually had to hit up google to find more simple words to throw at him.

I feel a little guilty that he probably could have done this earlier, had I worked with him more...
But it's fine.
[And I have been trying for an hour to get one of the videos uploaded, and I am giving up.  I will try the youtube route next, and will come back and add the link.]

He gets better and better every day, and I am surprised at how well he clicked into reading!
 
Which is awesome timing.

He starts Mother's Day out in a month.
And he is pumped!

As you know, I have had issues with trusting others to watch my babies.
So I realize that we are a bit later than the rest of the world in this MDO business...
but the timing is right for us.
(and we still have 2 years before he starts kindergarten, so I am not sweating it!)

We are finally ready!

My Nana gave him some cash at his birthday for some school clothes, and we spent it yesterday at Marshalls.
Maddox was blessed with my long and lean genes, so we have the most difficult time finding jeans for him.
So far, I have found that Gap or Ralph Lauren's are the only ones long enough and can be girted tight enough to not moon the world... but neither are too easy on the wallet.
So I was pumped to find a pair of Ralph Lauren's for $19.
And we got him a pair of Nike shorts and a tshirt shirt as well... and still had $5 to spare.
Thanks Nana!

We still need a back pack, lunch box and school supplies.
(I assume, but have not been given a list)
So our shopping is not over... and maybe only just began!

I think we have hit the expensive days of rearing children, and yes, I know it only gets pricier from here.

We registered him for soccer on Friday.

We bought him his shin guards yesterday, and you wouldn't believe how fast they make him run!  ;)

I am so excited to watch him play!
I melt thinking about his grin, as I type!

School and soccer, however, mean that another "big kid" adventure is in our sights.

Wednesday, both boys have checkups scheduled.
Since Maddox's first check up, he has never had more than 2 vaccines at a time.
But I have hit a cross road.
I am going to have to give up my control (anxiety) and give him all four that he needs in one visit, because it is what he is going to need for his anxiety.
There is no way I can take him back and put him through it again.

Beckham is also due for the live vaccines that get all of the media exposure.
I am not saying that I buy into all of it...
but I hear enough to make me dread this visit for him too.
(expect tears from me)

Needless to say, we could use a little prayer for Wednesday.
For my anxiety, mostly.  And that Lance (who has never missed a check up) can slip away for a few hours to be our glue.

I on purposely scheduled this appointment on my night off, because I thought Lance could use me just as well, that night following.
 
Beckham is cutting 4 teeth.
Two, being molars.
And he can be a bear at times.
Mostly he is still sweet and observant but then randomly, he gets tired or impatient...
and turns into me a beast.
He has been known to hit me and bite me or Maddox...
but no one else.  Yet. 

And though I know he is frustrated, and in pain...
I want to pull his crabby little ears off, when he gets like that.

Adding 2 vaccines to this madness, and he is able to be a live wire Wednesday night.
Go ahead and pray for him, would you?!
...And those mean little teeth, to make their way on in a little quicker.

And while you're praying, remember that I start my classes in 2 weeks.

I still have to pay my last $175 and order my 2 books, so I am not 100% in it yet.
But I won't back out.
I don't think.
Even after I read on ratemyprofessor.com that my science teacher was rated a 1.9 for difficulty!  He was only given a 2.8 overall.
I can't keep picking it apart.
It is only 8 weeks.
I can get through it.
I can do it.
I. Have. To. Do. This.
Breathe.

Finally, I'll toss in a collage of the rest of the pictures on my phone from the last week...
I think I ate tortilla soup 3 times, and had an over-due visit to the Chilly Penguin.
We broke out Maddox's new pool that he bought with his birthday cash, only to find that it is more of a bowl, than a pool.
Maddox tried on a pair of Build-a-bear shorts (and they fit), Beckham finally started wearing a cap, me and the boys camped in my parent's yard (in their RV).
I worked with Amanda on Saturday while my babies took a dip at the lake with Pop, Gigi and their cousins!
And all of that has worn my boys out.

Both have slept all night, in their own beds!

Which again is great timing.
As our world flips up-side-down in the next month!
We can use the structure.