Beckham is three

Beckham is three.

There are days when it feels like forever.
Not only long and hard and never-ending....
but like a soul that I have known my entire life-- or maybe even before I was born.

Somehow he wiped away the anxieties I had the first go around,
and though he refused sleep his first few months on this earth...
We stuck together--
nursing and chatting...
and he would look directly into my eyes, listening, like he knew me too.

One was a hard year for me...
and him too.
He couldn't talk and I didn't adjust and there were many days I thought I was failing him.
That seems like a million years ago now,
and though I honestly feared that he and I wouldn't have the bond I have with Maddox,
it feels crazy to admit that now.

We click.

I admittedly wanted him to be a girl.
I dreamed of bows and glitter and fingernail polish.
But he completes me.
This boy.
Who is 100% boy.
With his daddy's brown eyes, my brother's blonde hair, and his mommy's determination...
And has since the day he came home.

I am sure that girls are just precious,
but there is nothing I love more than soaking up the play between these two.
I picture God raising his eyebrows while I watch them at work,
like, "I got you.  I always have."
because it is honestly better than diamonds dipped in gravy.

Beckham is the ying to Maddox's yang.
I have never seen two humans that love each other like they do.
Like they have, since the day that they met.

Maddox makes the plans and Beckham takes action.
Maddox asks permission and B makes it happen.
Maddox showers me with compliments and kisses,
Beaky loves my soul with magnetic energy.

I fear sending Maddox to school because he is truly Beckham's right hand and best friend on this earth.
Seriously, we have to get on to Maddox for kissing Beckham too much.
Like in the middle of his baseball games... or when Beckham is already asleep.
"but he just can't help it", he tells us, "he just loves that little guy."
And we do too.

Beckham is perceived by most as quiet and a thinker...
spending his time building, doing, creating, working...
almost unseen, and never far from Maddox.

He is also ornery, assertive, and headstrong.
Almost impossible to sway once his mind is made up.
A quality that I adore.
I truly believe he is capable of moving mountains one day,
if he chooses to use that energy for good.

Three years feels like minutes.
And also a lifetime.
A depth of love that there aren't enough words to describe.
And a infinity of love.

***
We had a small little party at home with the people who mean the most to us,
and it was just perfect.

He is perfect.
I love him so...

Every second of every minute, since the day I found out we were pregnant.
My tiny.
He is three.