I am literally runny out the door for a friend's birthday party... so this will be short and sweet.
I have the opportunity to go back to school, mostly online to make about 10 to maybe 20 dollars more per hour. The program starts in 6 months and is 18 months long. The clinicals will suck. I will hate them to my core but I have done them before. I can do them again.
A week ago I was 100% this would be the route I would be taking come June but then I couldn't sleep Thursday night from crunching numbers. IF I do this program, the closest baby #2 could be from Maddox would be 4 years. Remember I want THREE, and preferably FOUR babies. (hush it, to each their own)
I have been praying for a CLEAR direction. And I can talk this out backwards and forwards, weigh the pros and cons, see both sides unbelievably clear, and can not come up with a CLEAR resolve.
There are some in my life that see one side as an easy option and others who see the other side completely clear as right.
This is stressing me out to the max and I want CLARITY!
I'm not sure that I am asking for an opinion, because each person has separate roads in their maps of life that do not run parallel to mine... which would cause different answers to my question.
I think I am asking for prayer.
Thanks, love you all!
That is honestly a hard one and it would be a difficult decision. BUT, what I have learned this past year is that your family means the most to you and you have to be able to take care of that family. You could keep having children and live happily ever after or your could have more children and have a repeat of your tough times and struggles. We wanted to deliver #2 in Spring 2010 but knew that we couldn't provide like we wanted and we would be stretched too thin. I was sick over it and heart broken but I know God has a plan. He doesn't like us to struggle. You are still young enough (I'm 30 this week and haven't started on #2 and I want 4). You have to do what is best for you, lance and Maddox RIGHT NOW. As much as it sucks, we can't plan our life around the "perfect plan" (easier said than done I know). If you think this is a great career advancement, I say go for it and then just start spitting the babies out!! Can you not have one towards the end of your schooling.
ReplyDeletehey, so not to completely contradict whitney,(sorry!)but i just want to look at the other side of things. First of all, it is not as if you are working making minimum wage. We make pretty decent money doing what we do. I know you are a lot like me and i struggle with going back as well. But, i am not sure that i would change anything about my schedule if i went back bc i still don't want to work alot. Anyways, there are several benefits in having children at a younger age and close together. I love the fact that i can be unsure if i want another child. Katie could be 8 and I could still decide i want another one and not have to be dropped in the high risk category(more so than i am!) You have said several times you want 3 or 4 which is AWESOME!! But, we both got pregnant right away and it doesn't always work like that. So, even if number 2 comes perfectly, if number 3 takes you a year to get pregnant with, you might decide not to have number 4 do to age reasons. And, i was told that you will never regret having a child, but you will regret NOT having that child. Anyways, i think it would be awesome if you went back to school and awesome if you have another baby right now. I would be proud of you either way. Keep praying and do what you feel is right. And remember there is nothing wrong with what we are. We are educated and beautiful! (just thought i would add that in!) We are moms first and foremost and always will be.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I said that Holly is because from the first day I met you, you have wanted to go back to school. You've talk about leaving your current jobs for better ones and more money. I thought it was like a dream of yours to go back to school and Lance's too.. Children are dreams too but I think we should be able to accomplish both.
ReplyDeleteI know girls, both of these are great points which is why this decision is so hard for me to make. I am such a Type A person: I want it all YESTERDAY!!! ...and that is why I said I need prayer, I knew BOTH sides would present to different people! (I called it from the start!) ;) Thanks for your input! <3
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