Friday High Five

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I am not a fan of the new Blogger layout-- they way the picture takes up 1/2 my screen but I do LOVE the new stats tab on here!
I think it is UBER interesting and fun to read through!

Here are a few stats from June 2010 until today:

• I have had 1469 views; 20 of those being people from Canada, 18 from Russia, 17 from Denmark, 10 from the UK, and a handful of people from the Netherlands, Latvia, China, Germany and Spain.

• You can't tell who looks at your blog but if they found you through a search engine or through a friend's blog, it does track that.

• With that said, I should thank Kasie- since 52 people looked at my blog from hers over the last 4 months and 30 have come to mine from Adrianne's!

• Here are a few words people searched which brought them to my blog: "Erwin journey", "the erwin life holly maddox lance", "holly erwin", and the 2 kickers: "Holly Erwin anxiety" and "spanking mom".  ...YAY, that's awesome!  I don't know which one makes me feel worse!  

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I was invited to 2 separate weddings this weekend.  Both, I would have to attend dateless.

• On Saturday, My friend Katie La from high school is marrying Scott Smith, her Junior High- High School boyfriend.  They broke up our senior year and then met back up after college.  I think it is kind of a Cinderella story... and hope a lifetime of happiness to them.  
• On Sunday, My BFF's sister-in-law, Meghanne is marrying her fiance Justin.  I could actually quote you a page on them and my hopes for their future (since I 'helped' write Wendy's speech), but I'll save it for the guests of attendance!  Their wedding is Halloween inspired and costumes are mandatory.  I feel bad for retracting my RSVP to this one-- because I know it will be an awesome time, but with my parents out of town-- I thought leaving Maddox 2 days in a roll was a stretch.  

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Friday is my most dreaded day of the week.  I know it is dumb-- because its everyone else's favorite day but its not mine.  Lance works evenings, the rest of the world goes to dinner or does fun things, but I sit at home.  I don't work on Fridays, so it makes the day. go. by. so. slow.
With that said, I could never be a 100% SAHM.  I have crazy respect for the moms who can, but I need me-time.  I need to feel important a few hours a week.  I need a doctor to tell me thanks at the end of a shift for the help that I provided them or a mom to tell me how much I have helped her while on call.  At home, all that I do often gets overlooked.  Maybe selfish, but I need affirmation.

So its Friday, and I have nothing to do.  Tonight is my high school's homecoming.  If my parents were in town, I would have my dad go with me to wrangle Maddox because I think he would enjoy going to a football game... But I'm not brave enough to go alone.

I may go buy stuff to make cookies... and maybe Maddox and I will have a sleepover at Gigi's.  But then again, leaving for something so simple seams worthless.  I hate to venture out with Maddox, alone. 


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Christmas is 78 days away.
I have found a gift for the grandmothers, and I think it is going to be to-die-for, but I have not ordered them yet.
As for the men... who knows?
Men are so hard.
I haven't even started looking for the nieces or nephews yet, but they're usually the easiest to buy for!

I typically do not go big on Maddox, for several reasons.

1. I never want Christmas to be about what he gets.  I decided before he was born that I wanted to instill the reason for the season, and never let it turn into a wish list that he feels he deserves.  Christmas is the season of giving, and bigger than that, it is the celebration of the birth of Jesus.  The last 2 years, Santa brought him about 4 gifts.  That's it.
2. Some parents buy a billion presents for their kids, and that is their prerogative.  I have a friend that would break apart gifts so that she could wrap even more presents under the tree.  Again, I'm not dissing her, just saying that is not my style. I hate junk.  I hate clutter.  He has a million too many toys as it is.  I would rather buy 4 quality gifts that I have put thought into, and know that he will enjoy, rather than have a million for looks.
3. He has the largest family known to man.  (and I have to buy for each of them)  They all love him to pieces and they all buy him toys.  If I add a big Christmas to that, that's way too much money out of my pocket, plus it is just unnecessary in my book.  Santa keeps it simple in the Erwin house.

With all of that said, this is the first year that I have a billion thing I would love to get him, so I really need to think about which I am going to get.  I typically buy only educational gifts... So of course those top my list:

• My Baby Can Read is now at WalMart!  Because he loves letters so much, I really want to start this program with him.  I truly think I can have him reading by 3.  So this one tops my list.  I think its about $70.
• I also want to the Toy Story Learn and Go.  Its a little handheld game thing that's only $15.  I think it says for 4 and up but its letters and shapes and other stuff like that, so I think he can handle it.
• I would also like to get him a Leapster.  I think they are  somewhere between $40-$50.  But, I found a website who has the games for  $4.99 PLUS 25% off!!!  And he could get more games as he gets older.  (this website has other AMAZING offers if you want it!)

As for non-educational:

• He LOVES to play instruments.  He is constantly singing into a bulb syringe, pretending it is a microphone, playing with Lance's Rock Band guitar, making a wheel-wheel-wheel sound, or drumming on anything he can find.  He even will set up something to be his symbol, and he makes a ching sound when he hits it!  So I would love to get him an instrument of some sort.
• Buzz and Woody.  They are like $35 each, but I know that would rock his world.  He is never far from his little rubber ones that the Ponce's got him, and they are really just a set of dive toys.  Her kids have the big talking ones, the Woody actually has a pull string and knows when his hat is missing from his head!  He has never been more impressed in his life, then when Lucas let him play with his!
• Something for outside.... maybe to ride on?  But I know that if we get back to Haslet, it will go un-played with... so that's bottom of the list.

*****
I cringe to say that I think Maddox is potty trained.
I say it nervously because it is still my issue.
I have not ventured further than my mom's with him in underwear.
He has not had an accident in a really long time, and even poops without any problem now!
We put on underwear first thing in the morning and he stays dry in them until bedtime.  (Even through his nap!)
But at home, he wears underwear and that is it, so I can make sure he can get them off when it is time to go.  
1/2 the time, he doesn't even tell me until afterwards when he needs help getting his underwear back on!
My fear is that we will be out, he'll have clothes on, and he'll flat out forget he's in underwear.... and a mess we will have!
I need to just do it...
I know he's ready.
It's totally my issue!
Maybe I should start by making him wear clothes on top of his underwear at home??
I'll work on it!

Pumpkin Patch 2010

This Wednesday, Lance and I took Maddox to the Flower Mound Pumpkin patch.
We met a friend that Lance works with and his wife and child there.
Lance thinks a lot of "Womack", and his wife Audrey was really sweet and easy to chat with.
Kaden and Maddox are 8 days apart!!
We had a great time!

After pumpkins, we had pizza at Turner's in Flower Mound and then headed to Grapevine Mills mall.
The boys played, ate pizza and they both slept our entire time at the mall.

I went for a pair of Tom's but needed an 8 1/2 and Sun and Ski only sold whole sizes, so Lance got a new North Face cap and we headed home.

Just as we came out of South Lake, I got car sick.

The closer we got to home, the worse I felt.

By Boyd, I was begging Lance to pullover.

Tater Junction was the best place he could get into, but I just couldn't hurl in their parking lot, facing all 600 windows of people dining!

We decided to keep on, and stopped at my father-in-law's.

After a few minutes out of the car, I felt 80% better.

And Maddox got to play with his Papa for a bit.

We had some Mexican food at Dos Chilis and then called it a day.

Have I mentioned how much I love fall?!

Keep him little

With another baby on the way, it is easy to feel like Maddox is so big.
But he's not.
He's barely two.
He's still tiny.
I love him more than anything worldly,
And I just want to keep him little.

>>>>>
Yesterday we went to a birthday party for some friends of our's little girl, Jalynn.
She was turning one.

Maddox had so much fun jumping in the princess bounce house, beating at the pinata and climbing up and sliding down the swing set a million times.

He looked so cute in his little rock and roll t-shirt and his little skull and crossbone vans...
He just looked big.
My baby seemed older than 2, and happy to his core.

While sliding, I walked over to check on him and he had dirt all over his face and knees and hands.  I said, "did you fall buddy?"  He said, "yeah mommy- but I okay." and went back to climbing the ladder to the top of the slide with a smile from ear to ear.

I, without realizing that there were 2 older boys (probably 7and 8) and 2 bigger girls (probably 4 and 5) playing with him, said, "can I have a kiss?" and he said, "sure momma!" and laid one on my lips!!

I was happy in that moment that he's still a baby... but it hurt my feelings too.
There will be a day that I would have been way out of line even asking.
There will be a day he won't kiss me in public.
There will be a day he won't kiss my lips at all...

Oh Lord..... keep him little.

>>>>>

Last night Lance worked 16 hours straight.

He made it home around 7:00 this morning.
I felt like I had not slept at all when he finally made it in.  (worrying about him driving home being so tired)

Maddox woke up at 9:00 and I was exhausted.

Like a worthless mom, I turned on KERA cartoons and fell back asleep.

When I woke up, Maddox had opened and conquered a poptart by himself, (crumbs everywhere), a package of fruit snacks (that I vaguely remember being brought to me and asked for), and was dipping my toothbrush into his cup of water.  (He recently figured out how to get ice and water from the refrigerator).

Not the most healthy breakfast, but independent he proved himself.

He seems so grown up sometimes....
It hurts my heart.


Lord, keep him little.

>>>>>
I'm sure no mom wants their kid to hurt.
But it makes me ill that one day he will.
One day I will not be able to control his environment.

And I try...
I try hard.

He is mine to protect.
I do my best to shelter him now... while I can.
I surround him with love and compassion.
And try and shelter his eyes.

The only people he knows at this point in his life are those that want to know him back.
The people who adore his presence and make efforts to be a part of his world.
 
I dread the day he realizes that the world isn't even...
that not everyone cares what his world is about.
That life isn't all butterflies and rainbows.
That people are mean...
That families aren't fair...
That your heart actually can break...

It was him that made me realize that I didn't need to prove myself to anyone.  I hold a prize more valuable than diamonds, more precious than gold-- and no one can ever take that from me....

I never ever ever want him to feel inadequate.

I just want him to stay little.