I hate it.

My friend Candace and I have an on-going joke about me hating things.

A few years back, we had gone to Canton and we saw a booth selling those beaded hair ridiculous accessories that were in mall kiosk for about a minute...
Without much thought, I said, "I hate those things.  I hate them in the mall, and I hate them here."
We laughed because I was so passionate about my hatred for a hair clippy.

Since then, we joke about having a board on Pinterest titled, "I hate it."
But just as soon as I think something is awful, one of my friends have pinned it onto their board of ideas, so I have refrained from my negative-Nancy board of hating-ness.

This post is all in good fun... 
{but true.}


I hate...

• hair that isn't attached to the head. And in the manner that mine is falling from my scalp right now, this is a problem.
• that McDonalds now charges for sweet and sour sauce. what?
• when people drive slow in the left lane... or have a crazy blinker that blinks way too fast.
• that someone told me that jello was made from crushed bones... I obviously can't eat it now.
• peppermint flavored anything... especially if it is mixed with chocolate.
• when people without kids, offer parenting advice.  [I don't care how many nieces or nephews you have... I don't care that you get paid to take care of kids or if you have a college degree in the growth and development of children.  I don't care that you are 100 months pregnant with your first child, or have read every book about parenting.  Until you have birthed a human, cried on their bedroom floor sure that you are doing everything wrong-- and then in the same week thought about writing a book because you are so damn good at it... zip it.]
• pale pink.
• when I am busting a rhyme, dropping it like it's hot and whipping my hair like a wild woman by myself in my car and I make eye contact with another car.
• when my favorite trashy tv show doesn't record.
• that I had my Keurig for an entire year, and was not really a fan of it at all, before finding out that you can make 4 cups of coffee off of 1 k-cup.  [and that they make a re-usable kcup to fill with my own brand of coffee.]
• when I have a sweet tooth, and have nothing to bake.  ...so I mix butter and powered sugar and cocoa and eat it with a spoon, and call it icing. {that I am so unhealthy}
• off centered- un-matching Christmas lights.
• scary Halloween decorations.
• the smell of fish.
• that I get over 1000 reads per month on my blog but the same 3 people comment.  Yes I am thankful to you few, however-- what the heck are you other 999 doing?  ;)
• When I think I look cute...and then see a picture of myself and realize that I was wrong.  
• food with chewy textures.
• pumping gas
• spending money on underwear.  (that's why mine are about a decade old... put that in your 'Holly isn't sexy file' if you don't mind)
• Running out of toilet paper... but not realizing until, you know... you need it. Or-- when the person [husband] before you runs out, and grabs a new roll, but neglects to trash the previous empty roll so the new one sits atop the empty cardboard innards.  {laziness}
• doing laundry.
• When public restrooms only have hand driers. [or are filthy]
• Red lipstick.  [yes I know it is in style.  But I still hate it... and I think you will too when you see yourself in pictures.]
• that Words with Friends was ruined by Cheats.  [*clears throat* you know who you are ;)]  It was originally fun.
• well thought out, wordy, dreamy, luscious, face book statuses.  [come'on.]
• sample sized lotions, shampoos, soaps... junk.  clutter.
• anything that flies or jumps. 
• when I am having a good day but feel guilty truly enjoying it because I know that this particular day is someone in the world's very worst day ever.  That's crazy, right?!
• un-organization.
• when someone adds you to your FB, so you like their statuses and comment their pictures [because you assume you're friends and all] but they never do yours so you have to wonder if they didn't even mean to be-friend you at all... or if they are just rude?!  
• to be hot at night.
• that I wear my feelings on my shoulders.
• checking my voice mail.  So I typically don't. [I just delete them all at once and feel free again.]
• wrinkled clothing.
• that I can hear a story about something sad, and let that ruin my entire day, worrying about something that is likely to never happen to me and that I am unable to control if it were. {anxiety}
• my cell phone that has zero reception in my house.
• people who are mean to babies. 
• that I am so nonathletic.
• that I can be so obnoxious.  [I can even feel myself doing it... but I can't stop it!  --especially if I am nervous or a drop of alcohol has touched my tongue.]
• when I tell Lance a story and he replies, "that's funny", but doesn't smile or laugh.  {Do tell, sweet husband, how funny was it really?}
• that I can hear a sad story, and I immediately put myself in their shoes to try and imagine their pain, sadness,  fear, etc... why do I bring those negative feelings on myself? 
• when I want to be mad but can't help but laugh.  [my husband has mastered this concept in arguing]
• scary movies.
• that I wasn't on the jury for the Casey Anthony trial.  I would have hung it.
• when restaurants only have canned soda.  ...I like about 4 refills... and I don't want to pay for 5 cans, nor do I just want water. [Mi Cocina needs to get with the program!]
• pickled okra.
• that white thing in eggs.  I always pick it out.
• that I miss opportunities to snuggle my babies because I think of a million things to do while sitting.
• pointless noise.  [ie: the tv during the day]
• for things to get near my eye ball.  --I think I was scarred by my lasix.
• when someone calls you but you miss their call and you immediately call them back and they don't answer.  >>Amanda!!
• when I am enjoying a piece of meat but then imagine the feathers that were once attached to it, or picture myself biting right into a cows leg, and I am done.
• my bad allergies in January. 
• driving in anything but pure sunshine.
• being broke.
• that you are suppose to clear your mind and breathe during the last 5 minutes of Yoga {:meditate:} but I have no idea how to do that!  I end up thinking so hard about not thinking, that I was better of just thinking about all of the things that I still need to accomplish that day.
• the music to Law and Order.
• that I am so far behind this Christmas.  I actually did get my Christmas cards... but they are still sitting in the bag, unaddressed.
• Chuck.E.Cheese
• looking at rad blogs and dreaming of how awesome I could make mine... but then realizing that it would be a blog for everyone else at that point and not what this was originally intended to be.  So it stays un-rad... and small... and me.
• that we didn't get pictures taken this year before Christmas.  Each time I see someone post new ones, I get sad.  And jealous.
• that I let an idea of what I think is going to happen, steal my happiness sometimes, when reality sets in-- and I have once again set my expectations way too high.
• toys with lots of pieces. 
• leftovers.
• that I treat Lance like a friend more than a husband.  It is our marriage biggest asset and largest downfall as well. 
• when people want you to vote for their kid on something... I don't 'do' pageants... and I don't vote against kids.  I think they're all cute, and I am not really into popularity contests.
• milk.  Unless it is ice cold and served with something chocolaty and hot!  [in that case, I love it.]
• when Maddox correctly pronounces a word, that he has always said incorrectly.  {growing up.}
• Spam, pork rinds, potted meat, liver.... you know, nasty meat.
• that I can not go to sleep at night-- therefor I wake tired every single morning.
• that I can remember people by their hair style or their job... and even their handwriting!!!  But I am horrible with names.  Terrible.
• the texture of red apples and the strings on bananas.
• heartburn.
• junk mail.
• that I didn't go back to school before I had kids.
• the rush before the holidays.
• that "cleaning" is never done.
• that I loose sleep over the home I'd love to build with rooms upon rooms for kids who need a better life... but know I will never get there.  ...and then I loose sleep over those lost kids.
• when something that I really want is on sale {black boots at Macy's} but show up a day after the sale is over.[and refuse to pay full price]
• growing up.
• that I wrote this so close to Christmas and have set on it a few days, wondering if I should post it.  It took work so I'd hate to trash it but makes me look like a negative Nancy.  Just know that it was written in good-time-fun.  Promise.    And I am happy as a clam. [which happen to be the most blissful, cheerful,  lively, merry, upbeat animals on earth.]  Like me.  ;)

I am thankful

for today.
And every single other day that I am alive.
Being a mother, a daughter, a grandchild, a wife
A cousin, a nurse, a friend, a sister
or a smile to a complete stranger.

Even the hardest--longest-- days...
I am thankful!!

To serve an unfailing God.
I am imperfect and he knows that and he loves me anyway.
He loves me so much, that he sacrificed his child for me.
That's big.
Huge.
Hard to comprehend, really.
I am thankful.

For Lance.
We don't have a beautiful love story.
We aren't romantic or mushy.
We are simply best friends who enjoy laughing.
And he is an exceptional dad.
[Who knows that the minky-dot snuggy is Beckham's favorite....he reminds me every time I grab the bear one]
He lives life so easily, without thought or worry.
I am thankful. 

To be an Erwin.
The greatest gift from my husband.
I did not share the last name of the family members in the house I was raised-- my home...
and I never lived with the family whom I share my maiden name.
But Lance gave me that.
A last name that matches him and my kids.
I know it is silly to most people.
But it means a lot to me.
I am thankful.

For Maddox.
Who taught me the meaning of unconditional love, patience, worry, happiness, contentment.
He is so funny and sensitive and caring and creative.
He is also 90 miles an hour and a spaz.
He is me.
And he filled holes in my sole that I never knew were there.
He taught me to stand up for myself.
And while pregnant with him, was the first time that I realized my husband was on my side against any and everyone else.
Maddox turned us into a family.  A solid unit.
He is my first born... my big boy... he made me a mother-- forever and always.
I am thankful.

For Beckham.
Who taught me that God has plans bigger than I will ever understand.
He told me that I needed another boy [not a girl like I had planned]... at a time that I was giving up on everything, honestly.
I learned to be faithful.  To be still.
He is so calm and observant. 
He is Lance.
He makes these baby noises; grunts and cries and smacking while he's nursing that almost melt me.
He reminds me how fast time flies and just how blessed I am to be a mother.
I tell him he is my soul mate.
I am thankful.

For good {healthy} genes on both sides.
My Mamaw is 96.  [my mom's grandmother]
She tells me that as long as I stay away from that bottle, I will live as long as her!
And I do.
I don't smoke nor do I eat a lot of bad things... so I hope she is right.
My Nana [my dad's mom] is in incredible shape as well.
She is a blog-reader so I won't spill her age...
but you have seen her pictures and I promise you wouldn't believe it.
I hope to carry on the genetic traditions for both.
I am thankful.

For my mom.
Sometimes she makes me crazy with a capital K.
And I, to her, the same.
But I can't go a day without talking to her (usually multiple conversations) and she is the greatest Gigi around.
She is the main reason I crave a daughter.
I want what her and I have some day.  (minus a few teenage years)
Days at her house, in pjs by the fire-- or on the back porch just sitting and talking, rank in the top of my favorite days.
And she's a good cook.  ;)
I am thankful.

For shelter.
It isn't the house I pin on Pinterest.
But it is warm.
It is comfortable.
It is clean.  (usually)
And it is home.
I am thankful.

For the economic bust of 2008.
I learned so much from those difficult times.
That Lance and I were prepared more than we ever knew.
[we did not go behind on one bill... and that was a huge accomplishment]
It was so difficult, especially since people who's jobs were not effected, didn't understand our troubles-- but constantly offered their opinions.
But we learned to be frugal, to be cautious, to be grateful, to be simple, to be strong
and we learned to fight.
We realized that we were determined, more than we ever knew possible.
When Lance took a job making over 50% less, we adapted.
And were grateful.
It changed us for the better.
I am thankful.

For chores.
Sometimes when I am sweeping or loading the dishwasher or cooking dinner, I just smile.
[never when I am doing laundry, please understand that.  never.]
I smile because I am doing exactly what I dreamed I would be.
I am a wife.
I am a mom.
And I am decent at both.
I am thankful.

For naps.
Rarely for me...
but for the rest of the house.
I crave the break, and love it when all 3 boys go down at the same time.
Except today.
Lance took Maddox and a couple of the neighbor-boys to the soccer fields and Beckham and I got a nap.
An hour of uninterrupted sleep.
I am thankful.

For my job.
Though I have had moments of bitterness towards the company I work for...
and a few times I have even claimed to hate the place. 
In honesty, they supply me a decent paycheck on light hours.
I have a great schedule and I am able to work (more than 50% of my job) from home.
I also have the perks of 17 incredible doctors at my fingertips when an issue arises with my own kids.
Usually, without fees.
And amazing co-workers.
I am thankful.

For internet.
Pinterest to dream a big dream.
Blogger to express my honest thoughts and document my memories.
Facebook to, lets face it, be nosey.
For technology...
I am thankful.

For my friends.
I have good ones.
Truly.
Some I talk to religiously...
others I don't.
Some make me laugh...
others lift me up.
The best thing about being a grown up is we choose our friends now-based on commonalities and not just geographical location...
As an adult, I am left with a great group of people that I would be proud to mirror.
I am thankful. 

For Pepsi.
Or coke.
Heck, I'll take RC, if that's all you've got.
Cherry vanilla cokes from sonic during happy hour...
Yes, they make the thankful list.
Sweet tea.
Iced coffee.
For caffeine,
I am thankful.

For my crock pot.
And anything else that helps to simplify.
I am thankful.

For the sun and trees and stary nights.
For roadtrips, and crazy ideas.
For music.
Heating blankets, good sheets, warm baths.
For the colors of fall, and the warmth of summer.
For originality and freedom of expression.
For cell phones, cars, running water, electricity,
For pictures.
For health and modern medicine.
For arms and legs and all of my digits.
For chapstick.
I am thankful.

For my family.
All of them... extended included.
Crazies included.  ;)
For Lance's family, specifically his sister and dad, who prepped him to be the man he is.
Thankful.

To live in a free country.
and for our military who make that possible.
And to the mothers of those people who fight.
I can not imagine their emotions...
But to them all,
I am thankful.

For girly things in a male-dominated house.
Like glitter.  And ruffles. and pedicures. and makeup.
And the chance to shop alone.  For me.
Rare, but I am thankful.

For kisses.
Excited and slobbery from Beckham.
Without reason, constant and full of love, from Maddox.
Without words but full of encouragement from Lance.
And snuggly hugs.
I am thankful.

For nice people.
With smiling faces or soft expressions.
Who live life whole-heartedly and .
One of my favorite things is when someone is really god at their job [maybe not even a high paying job] but they go out of their way to do it well...
I like to call and tell their manager.
People often go out of their way to complain, but rarely voice up when people are nice or helpful.
I like encouragement or positive feedback from parents about my job-- so I like to pass it on.
I am thankful.

For a baby who feeds multiple times a night.
At least I have kicked the fear of SIDS...
He reminds me often that he is doing well.
I am thankful. 

For random acts of kindness
and stories of the greater good.
For people who make a difference...
even if it is small.
For miracles.
For hope.
I am thankful.

For the ability to breastfeed.
Not only does it save us money (that I will eventually use to perk them back into position) ;)
but I cherish the closeness and bonding that I have with my babies when they feed. [or fed]
Not to mention the benefits my children reap from it on multiple levels.
For that, I am thankful.

For inside jokes.
Great memories.
Funny stories.
Heartful words.
New tricks.
friendly faces.
Baby laughs.
Tickle spots.
Belly buttons.
Little toes.
Knuckle dents.
Date nights.
Playing chase.
a full pantry.
Movie nights.
Nick Jr.
Snack bucket full of choices.
the ability to see, hear and express.
For chips and salsa.
I am thankful.

For days off like today...
easy.  laid back. peaceful.
[even call is being good to me]

For simplicity.
I am thankful.

splish splash- money stash, there's nothing here but rambled trash!

• I have not bought one Christmas present yet.  Not one.
• But I am excited for it.  (and dreading the expense all at the same time) But still, mostly excited.
• I could eat chips and salsa every day.  And bacon.  And avocados.
• I made loaded baked potato soup today. yum.
• I only like Hidden Valley Ranch dressing.  To me, it tastes soooo much better than the other brands.
• I am not a big fan of chocolate.  Or dessert in general, actually.  I'll eat it-- sure, but I would rather have seconds on dinner.  Maybe thirds.
• I wash my hair every day.  I know you aren't suppose to... and sometimes I try to skip a washing-- but I always end up with suds on the scalp before bed.   I just can't do it.
• My hair is falling out in massive amounts.  Its gross.  I think it is hormones.  And Beckham stealing my protein... But I barely have any hair to start with.  Maybe I should try Rogain-- or quit washing it so much! 
• At my brother's birthday dinner, last Sunday-- we bowed our heads for prayer and before David could begin, he was up-staged by Maddox who decided he was saying the prayer-- finished-- and started eating like nothing was wrong.  My dad said,"that'll work" and we all dug in.  I just love his confidence.
• Recently at night, he has been praying for outerspace, Mars, astronauts, "Erf", spaceships, etc.  I just keep my head bowed and let him talk.  I love it.
• I am a horrible driver.  I scare myself sometimes.
• I think I was born in the wrong era.  I love the 60s-70s.  I have the lanky body of a hippie... but I couldn't do the drugs... and from what I know of the decade (from Forrest Gump) that's a must.
• Pandora was a fantastic invention.  As was the docking station that blares it out while I clean... brilliant.
• My hair is naturally curly... God threw me a bone when the Chi was invented.  (Too bad I was out of high school before it was)
• We had to lower Beckham's crib after we found him standing in it this past weekend.  Remember he turned 6 months old about 36 minutes ago?!??!  I hate that.
• I love Modern Family.  It's hysterical. 
• I love rain.  [except when I have to drive in it.]
• When people have dirty homes, it makes me think they have dirty minds, dirty kids, and are lazy.  And then I remember how filthy my car is.  hmmmm.
• I love to dance, but I am so out of shape I would surely get a side-stitch 1/2 way through any song.
• I don't have any tattoos.  My husband has 2 and wants more.  I know it is sexist for me to think that they are okay for boys and not girls... but it isn't that.  It's more the permanence that gets to me.  Like moons and stars were once really cool... not so much now.  And at some point there is going to be a nursing home full of tramp-stamps.  That's weird to me. 
• I love cherry-vanilla coke from Sonic.
• I hate anything scary.  For that, I am glad Halloween is over.
• My husband is crazy-helpful.  But sometimes it cracks me up the way he chooses to go about that task.  ie:  I came home Sunday to him vacuuming with the shop-vac (inside) and he had cleaned the ceiling fans.  Thank you honey?!
• Thanksgiving is in 2 weeks!!!  I love love love Thanksgiving.
• I work 4 days this up-coming week.  It is only 1 more day than I usually do, but I am already dreading it.  Dumb huh?!
• The girl Lance dated before me, lives a street behind us.  [You realize I don't know this by accident... I stalked her down.  That's serious.]  Anyhow-- I think it is weird we have only ran into her once, 3 1/2 years ago and we are practically neighbors.  Maybe I'll invite her for dinner?!  --Cut the awkwardness that I keep stored inside my brain about it. 
• I hate cold weather.  It hurts my bones.  I do enjoy a couple of days of snow... then I'm done.  But this weather that we are experiencing right now, is. a.mazing.
• I am back to my pre-baby goal weight.  Which means nothing.
• I bought a new crock pot this week. A bigger one.  Mine cracked.  
• I really want a girl one day.  But sometimes I just see myself with a house full of boys and I am happy with that too.  It's God's call, I guess.
• My laptop will not get onto the internet.  I have been using Lance's for 2 weeks.  He constantly acts as if I have gasoline and matches in my hands when I go to log on his.  It is annoying.
• My mom brought my brother's kids over for a few hours today.  That was fun.  ...and exhausting!  But I love them.
• Knuckle dents melt my heart.
• So do suckling noises, tiny cries and baby chuckles.
• I love weekends.  Mainly ones where we do nothing.  They are my favorite.
• I really want a glass of wine right now, but the only thing I have on hand is a bottle from 2006 and it would be such a waste to open it.  [I crave wine, but never really love it.  I wish I did.]
• We are trying to decide when to do our Delightfully Tacky Christmas party round 3.  This year, Lance and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary in December also and for the first time, we are actually going to celebrate it so our choices are limited for the party.  [especially since Kaleb vetoed out the weekend of the 10th]  
• Lance has been talking to me about the LSU vs. Alabama game the entire time I have been typing.  He knows I don't care about it.  At all.  But I respond as if I do.  [because I am a good wife like that.]
• Maddox just told me I am "good lookin"... on that note, I am done blogging.  :)