Big stuff

Maddox went on his very first field trip of his life to the Black Creek Pumpkin Patch.
He has the sweetest class and I may have already said it, but I couldn't be more happy with his first year of school, so far.
He truly loves it!

A man, who was a coach of my brother's but retired before I was in high school, sang songs and they took turns rotating through each of the activities.
My sister came over during her lunch break and had lunch with us too.
I was able to take him home after we ate, so we had ice-cream and enjoyed our half-day together before I went on call.

They were so wore out that night, that they crashed on me after their bath.

Two days later, we were back at the same patch (3rd time, this season) for another birthday party.
We left there and went to the park to play, and a quick stop by Lance's dad's.

That evening, we went to the boys' first fall fest at the school.
Randi said that Gunner was begging to be Robin also, after Maddox told him that was who he was going to be.... so I just loved that they matched!
Of course Maddox was only Robin because Beckham asked him to be-- but B told me that Batman is "ashually da boss of Wobin"... so I have to wonder how much that played into his choice of costume?!

We didn't win at Bingo, or the silent auction, but the boys played a lot of games, saw their friends, and even rode a haunted hay ride!

The next morning, they woke up wanting to get back into costume-- which we did.

Monday was exciting!

Maddox earned his first "Polite Panther" award, and was very excited.

We were so so proud of him too!

Mrs T told us that she appreciated his manners and loves how sweet he is to the other kids-- specifically the kiddos who might be having a harder time.

I told Maddox that I would take a compliment about his character any day over a home run or an awesome grade-- so we made a big deal out of it.

I left the Rise and Shine thing, ran B to mom, had lunch with my husband and made my way to FTW for my annual doctor's appointment.
I'm probably in the 1% population, who actually doesn't mind that visit.
I only don't mind it however, because I love love love my OBGYN and it is the once a year 10 minute chat I get to have with her.
Unfortunately, she slid in the room to tell me that her husband was just in a car wreck and she had to get to the ER.
Obviously I wanted him to be okay--
but I also feel like we should have a drink-- talk about our families-- and maybe have dinner-- before we get "that personal", so I was a little frazzled with my guest appearance doctor sliding in and ducking low.
I survived.

That night, I opened up Maddox's library book and started to read it to him.
He said, "momma-- do you think I could try it?"
Honestly, until that very minute-- I didn't realize he could read more than "pop, hop, bat, ran, bin, etc."  But he turned each page after the next, and read the book.  The entire book.
Like read it- read it.
"Julie has a twin sister,  Her sister has brown eyes and black hair.  She likes to run and play..."
I was shocked and proud!
And if I am completely honest, it made me feel guilty for not working with him the last couple of years more-- seeing now that he was that close.
To take it a step further, I just ordered him a bunch of used books online after realizing our book collection was rather pitiful-- and I couldn't necessarily write the same 3 books in the blank each week on out homework, without looking like a non-caring mom!

But I have convinced myself now, that it was such an easy transition for him because I didn't push it on him, and let his teacher open it up to him in a correct sequence and pattern where it doesn't feel like work-- but actually fun for him.
Like all other milestones, they rarely leap until they're ready.
I am also assuming she has more patience than me.  She is a kindergarten teacher.

He traded his book Tuesday and did just as well with his new circus book. This is so fun for me to see him explode, every little thing is so big!

Maddox has been working more with B on his letters too, and he seems to respond better to him than me.
They are just so different is so many ways-- but Beckham adores Maddox so I am using that to my advantage when I can!

Tuesday we had his parent-teacher conference and were very pleased with it.
Mrs T made us feel great about Maddox and said that she is going to offer him more work and keep pushing him to his full potential, which we appreciate!

Wednesday I felt the need to have a "you never keep secrets from mommy" talk.
Initially, because we saw a convicted sexual offender at dinner which then threw Lance and I into a conversation about a man convicted in a town not too far who was a baseball coach, youth leader and fireman.
Occasionally I have this overwhelming need to tuck them in a bubble and never let them see the world-- or chop the arms off of anyone who might hurt my kids one day, in the first 2 second evaluation I make in my head of a complete stranger.
I followed that experience up with a FB post I read from a mother who lost her gay son to drugs.  She blamed herself for spending those years making him hate himself-- by basically telling him God or gay-- and encouraged other mothers to stop saying, "I love you but hate your sin".

So, like the psychopath that I can be-- I called Maddox in and set him down.
In hindsight, I really need to let Lance handle this stuff because I suck at it.
But when I am in a spiral of thinking that someone might hurt my baby or he might hold a secret one day the size of the world-- I skip right to the punch line, envisioning myself having the conversation with my dad-- murder for hire type deal of some creep in thick glasses... or being a guest speaker at a LGBT conference, spilling everything I did wrong.
I don't ease into the shallow end.
Ever.

Anywho, I called Maddox in-- sat him down-- and said, "you know that we never keep secrets from each other, right?"
He answers, "yeah!"  All innocent, like the 6 year old that he is.
But I go on.
"Like, if someone ever does something that makes you feel uncomfortable but you think I might be mad, or sad, or embarrassed, or angry-- you can tell me.  Always.  Daddy too."
"And If someone tells you that you can't tell me... that it is even more the reason to tell me... no matter how much they might convince you that you shouldn't."
I might have even thrown in a, "and if anyone ever tries to touch your private parts-- you tell them that your daddy will cut their neck off and you tell me immediately."
Again, I'm Holly.

Anyway... that little 6 year old who started with a smile-- all innocent and pure-- started crumbling.
His lip was turning down, and tears were spewing and my heart was racing about 220 bpm.
I was trying to stay calm on the outside, although I was already loading the Glock in my head, as I calmly asked, "why are you upset, Buddy?"
He cried harder, "I can't."
"no you can Maddox, tell me."
He buried his head.
I kept negotiating with him to tell me-- but the more I pushed, the harder he cried.
I had just spent 5 minutes promising him that I would not be mad or upset or crazy-- but everything in me wanted to threaten a spanking if he didn't spill the beans right then.

Finally he said, "____ (I won't throw her under the bus) kissed me." More crying.
"I don't want you to be mad momma."  "I don't want to be teased."
"She kissed me on my hand..."
"On your hand?!"
"and on my head ...on the playground.  Only 2 people saw, and I really hope they don't tell." ...more crying.

I hugged him and told him that I was proud of him for telling me and I was sorry he was embarrassed, etc, etc...
but I really wanted to shake him and tell him that being kissed by a 5 year old on the hand was not on my list of things that I was willing to kill for and make him take my pulse so that he could see just how close I was to calling the Care Team at Cooks for an admission!
But it is big stuff to him.  So we talked and both felt better.

I told Lance about it all that night and he just shook his head.
He was like, "I don't know if I'm more worried that you thought your 6 year old might be coming out of the closet-- or that the same kid who is never not with us, has a secret like that to tell?"
I said, "good point.  From now on I'll just call you and you can talk me off the edge!"

***
In other (more normal) news, my mom and I have started walking/ running at the track while Maddox is at school.
Beckham sits on the side, most of the time, playing with his toys-- but occasionally jumps on the track for a 400 meter sprint!
My friend Jennifer has a way of motivating me to be stronger/ healthier without ever saying a word.
Plus I am 10lbs heavier than I was after I had Beckham, so now is as good of a time as any.
I have set myself a goal to run a 5K with her, and that is what I am working for -- baby steps.
Right now I can't run more than a lap at a time without stopping to walk, so I am not very close.

We also did some shopping last week, jumping at Chickfila, and mom and I made a stage out of sheets on a Friday night-- because we are awesome like that!

The biggest news on Friday came from Maddox, who got to move to Rock Star for the first time.
Lance had made him a deal at the very first of school that if he ever got there, he could have Lance's old phone.
He is so proud of his non-working iPhone 4, and if you want to watch him play a game of Solitaire (the only game downloaded on it), then he'll be glad to show you!

Saturday night, I dressed up for the first time in probably 6-7 years for a Susan G Komen charity party.
Two of my best gal-pals are walking in the 3-day and one of their team members hosted an awesome party to raise money!
I only wish I had taken pictures of other costumes at the party, because they were all so good!

Today, we went to the airshow.
I mostly napped.
Or tried to nap.
While the boys crawled all over me and airplanes zoomed over my head.

But the weather was good and I didn't have to touch a load of laundry, so I call it a win.
Dinner at Babes afterward nailed it home.

The weekends come and go so fast these days, tomorrow is already Monday again.
But it is Red Ribbon Week, and Halloween...
more big stuff in store!