turning five... and thereafter

Turning five has been a little rocky for us.

You have to understand, overall, Maddox is pretty easy.
Minds well(-ish), moldable, rarely rocks the boat, and is a peace-maker.

But as I think back, it seems as though he has taken each new birthday with a little resistance.

He's been a little more defiant and pushing the boundaries, just seeing how I will react.
Thinking he's old enough to do everything now-- "because he's five".
But really not old enough to do anything-- that he couldn't do 2 weeks ago-- when he was 4.

Arguing with me and lashing out when he doesn't get his way.
Running ahead, or making his own path against the crowd.

It has made for a few hard days.

Not to mention that my anxiety is on high alert as a 17 year old was arrested for the murder of a 6 year old little girl, just a town over.

It is hard to do everything right as a mommy.
To know how to shelter them from a mean and cruel world-- and yet be honest enough so that they know that no one can truly be trusted.

It is overwhelming for me to be the parent of a five year old,
who thinks he is mature enough to make adult decisions, and parent his two year old brother-- and yet wears Lego Starwars underwear.

It is crippling to love something so much and admit that you can't control everything in this nasty world.

And it sucks when you let your anxiety over losing them to something so evil and yet rare,
that you potentially plant seeds of anxiety into a little being that is so much like you and a thinker.

It's rough.

'Tis parenting.

***

We spent the day before vacation at the water park with the Byford girls, the Addington clan, and Gigi.
It was Maddox's actual birthday and it was the best way to celebrate.

And we came back from vacation in the same way.

And to rain...

And really tired babies.

I was glad to be back at work, and embraced my Saturday morning with a smile.
I was sad, however,  to have finally used up the last of my Starbucks gift card from my step-mom and dad.
(but proud that I made it last 3 months!)

After work, I ran and bought a gift for Kyleigh and had Lance meet me across town with the kids for her party ...that was still 7 days away!

But we didn't call it a day wasted.
We browsed a few dealerships and eventually traded in my car for a Tahoe!
Way cooler than my last one-- as there isn't a bell or whistle they forgot to put on it.
It is used, and a little higher payment than my Murano.
But we didn't go up-side-down,
And it is exactly what I wanted.  I just love it...
LOVE. LOVE. LOVE it.

And my kids now complain of being too cold, rather than it being 108 and sweating profusely because of the absence of air vents in the back!

The boys love it too...
as they should,
since it served as an hour of entertainment on Monday when I locked us out of the house and my only key was still in the realtor's lock box and my new car wasn't programed to the garage or alarm yet.

Thankful to a nice realtor neighbor who responded to my community's FB page post to let me into the lockbox-- and the movie Ice Age...
we survived.

My sister and mom and Dave came out Sunday and I cooked for everyone.
My sister left me the sweetest card and gift, and I cried like a baby.

If I haven't said it enough-- I am so proud of the almost-22-year-old-WOMAN, she has become.
I love her so much,
as do my kids.
And the family who hired her to nanny, are lucky to have her.

Wednesday was like this:

 And then this.

Oh and this for free, since they opened up next door to Lance and brought it over to him!
(which I have an appointment to redeem on Wednesday morning)

Thursday was Maddox's five year old check up.

He was 40lbs and 44 1/4" tall.
His vision and hearing were great and I was proud to watch the mature interaction he and Dr Hayward had.
She was impressed with him too, and of course that made me feel good.

She didn't do my anxiety any favors, however, when she suggested an ENT referral to finally remove these extra-large tonsils he inherited from me that are now causing snoring, gasping and noisy breathing.

She pacified my tears with a nasal steroid spray that we are going to try for a month before we do anything crazy.

She also put him on Zantac to see if the "heart pains" that have not gone away-- and frankly have become more common-- are a symptom of acid reflux.

She asked about the schools in Paradise as she thinks he is so ready for kindergarten now and will need to be challenged once he finally starts...
but she didn't disagree with my reasoning for holding him out until next fall either.

We went to Grapevine Mills after our appointment with my mom and scored a couple of treats--
like new underwear for all the males in my house.

And 3 $5 hats for my beach trip.

Maddox hurt his knee last night on the trampoline so we canceled our day in the sun to rest a swollen and painful knee--

Beckham has spent a good chunk of his day in time-out, crying, refusing to apologize to his big brother and playing trucks in the buff.

He's such a stubborn little thing.
(good thing he's cute.)