Sunday, May 18, 2014

the past few days...

I'm feeling the heat from Irving Texas for another blog post!
I doubt it is what you are wanting to read, but I thought I would make your 3-4 visits per day, worth your while, and catch this thing up to date!  ;)

The boys are good.

We finally got a little rain last week.
Not nearly what we need-- but enough for the boys to play a little.
Get stuck...
And me to get my shoes covered in mud to push them out.

We met up with Candace and Audrey for lunch at Chickfila last Friday.
Right as we were walking up, Beckham looks over at a table of 3 little girls eating with their mom on the patio and cat called them with a "booyah babay!", loud and cocky...
Maddox laid his skills onto a lady in the play area who was probably my age, yet super fit and cute.  I could see him talking to her through the glass and then she started laughing and made her way out to us.  She said, "he is so cute... he asked if I worked out and when I told him yes, he said, 'that's cool.  My momma and I do yoga.'"
We have done yoga together ONCE. 

The play area was just as crazy as it always is,
and B laid the goodbyes on heavy this time.
(but not without her rejecting him a few times first!)

I went to the movies with a couple of friends to See The Other Woman, that night.
it was pretty funny-- not The Heat or Bridesmaids funny-- but funny.
Our friend Jennifer couldn't make the trip out, so we brought her there in spirit!

We played in the sun on Saturday at my mom's.
And went to Hibatchi for dinner that night.

Sunday's Mother's Day service was amazing.
I cried like a baby the entire sermon and Lance might have wiped a tear too.
They had each mom stand up to be recognized and gave each of us a rose on the way out.

I was on call that afternoon, so we just hung around the house and rode around on the Ranger.
Aside from church, there wasn't much 'mom celebrating' going on around here and as I was taking a break from cleaning the kitchen to stuff clothes into the dryer, Beckham started acting like a three year old, crying and screeching out:
"I don't want dis cup", "is purple... I don't wike purple", "I want a diprent one.  I don't wike dis one!"

I wasn't sure if I was going to join him in his fit by telling him that this was MY day and thousands of other moms are getting pampered with fancy meals, beautiful flowers and jewelry-- while I was WORKING and CLEANING and COOKING for THEM...  like I do every single day of my life, unnoticed and rarely appreciated...

But before I could react, Maddox said, "Please don't throw a fit, Bubba.  Today is Mother's Day and mommy works really hard for us.  Just trade cups with me."

And then I sat on the floor and bawled like baby.

I would love to go on to say that this boy of mine gets me...
except Thursday night, when I was carrying dinner outside to the table for a surprise picnic style dinner, he shouted out a few more things that we needed from inside and then said, "it's fun to have momma get us things.  She's always like our butler."  And then he tried to talk Lance into making me sit in the broken chair, while Beckham ate the last piece of garlic toast-- leaving me none.
But I certainly appreciated his words, and I'd say that receiving them unprompted was better than flowers, a gift or a fancy meal.
For real.

Tuesday, Beckham had his 3 year check up.
He was 33.2 lbs (65% for weight) and 38.75" tall.  (78% for height.)
Maddox weighed for fun and was 43lbs.... which made me decide to look back and see what Maddox was at his 3 year check up, and was shocked to see that they were the EXACT same for both weight and height! And they were only an ounce and a half off on their 2 year check ups as well, and same exact height.
So crazy!

I split my boys vaccines up on an alternate schedule but I thought we caught up to the rest of the world at his 2 year visit so I was not prepared when she said he needed three shots.
It broke his tiny heart.
And if I am honest, it broke mine too.
We had to go to the lab for a simple blood test after the immunizations but he had not completely regained his composure so he spiraled out of control in the lab, crying loud and shaking all over.
The worst part was watching Maddox deal though.
He tried comforting him, but then started shaking all over (just like I do when I am nervous) and buried his head into Lance crying.

Beckham refused to walk the rest of the day.  But his soft hearted Daddy let him pick a toy at Target for being so brave, which added with motrin-- got him walking again.
I know he honestly hurt because he randomly yelped out, saying ouch throughout the night.
I finally talked him out of his bandaids Wednesday evening, and he hasn't complained about them since.

Wednesday I went to a dance class the a friend from high school hosts.
It was a lot of fun, and maybe just possibly will build up my endurance so I can get back into some kind of shape.
However, I'll have to learn to ignore my inner voice telling me that I deserve icecream afterward.

I also found out that there is a kid's version of the Love Languages test that night.
Honestly, just because Maddox is a kid, I thought that gifts would be a big winner for him.
Crazy enough though, his results were pretty similar to mine.
He likes to be with us and he likes to be verbally praised.
I wish Beckham were old enough to take it... I am super intrigued by those sorts of things.

Thursday, my friend Jenn invited us out to their farm for the boys to play.
We had lunch, talked, and threw rocks in the creek.
She is so inspiring and every time I leave her, I have this tiny urge to be strong and fit and healthy like her.
But it never lasts long-- mainly because I am the WORST goal keeper of all time.
And you know... the icecream.

Thursday night's call was busy.
I would try and get on a roll, knocking them out but it never failed that for each one I would call, another would come in and I was at the end of my patience rope.
In the midst of that, both kids started crying because Lance wanted them to take a shower and they wanted a bath and apparently the world was over, and negotiations were off.
The only thing worse than your kids wailing out in the background when you are attempting to do your job, is the sound of a grown man scolding them both for crying (while they of course cry louder and harder) in the back ground while you are trying to get caught up on call.

I am an incredible silent cusser-outer, sign linguists, and finger-snapper in times like these--
and have been known to file for divorce with my arm movements while keeping a fake, "everything is perfect over here" in my voice.

Lance got them showered and ready for bed and I was down to my last call when Beckham started crying that real cry that isn't high pitched enough to be a pain-cry but is too committed to be a bratty-I'm-not-getting-my-way cry.

I ran over to him (who was just sitting next to Maddox playing Minecraft on the iPad) and was trying to figure out was was wrong. He was so upset though, that I couldn't understand a single thing he was saying.
Just as I would get him calmed enough to talk to me though, he would start back crying again and each time it would be harder with more tears than the previous.
The only thing that I could ever get was "gone poreba."
Reluctantly Maddox decided to dictate what he was saying.
Apparently Maddox had built a tower in the Minecraft world and told Beckham that he was going to jump from it and if he landed on the blue bricks then he won but if he landed on the red, then he was going to go away forever.

It honestly broke my heart because I think it was the first time that Maddox intentionally hurt Beckham's feelings (without anything to gain from it) and furthermore, that Maddox is the same tenderhearted soul so he knows how it feels to be worried and scared and overwhelmed.

We talked about it, Maddox apologized, we all 3 cried, and Maddox got grounded from the iPad.

Friday evening I was suppose to have an eye doctor appointment.
I had lasik 10 years ago and after checking my eyes against a chart the other day, I think that my eyes have started to get bad again.
I cancelled my appointment though because Lance finally had a softball game early enough for us to go to, and 2 kids in a new doctor's appointment without help sounded like tiptoeing across a bed of Lego's.

Lance's team won.

We had dinner at Noodles BTH after the game and then stopped by our old neighbors'.
I was so tired when we left there that I leaned my seat back and tried to sleep on the way home.
Except I couldn't and by 2:00am I still had the same story to tell.
Frustrated, I grabbed my pillow and moved to the boys' bed and I guess I finally fell asleep but by 4:00, I was up to a seal barking cough that wasn't stopping.
For a moment, I thought "I just got to sleep-- I have to work in the morning, SURELY Lance is going to get him" but he wasn't stopping so I headed back to my room.

That poor little peanut was sitting up on his knees, holding his throat, with the most scared look on his face.  He had strider and I swear he was wheezing also.
I spent from 4:00-6:00 up with him and finally decided that I needed to call in--  which I have not done in 3 or 4 years.

The doctor on call called us in some steroids and while we were waiting on them at the pharmacy, Maddox taught himself to skip!!!
He shrieked out in excitement  and Beckham responded that it was "freaking him off".

I died.

Not to be outdone in the funny department though, Maddox continued to make some noise with his mouth while we were unloading groceries and Lance asked him to stop.
Without a smile, he matter-of-factly said, "dad, I am trying to sound like a didgeridoo.  It's one of Africa's oldest instruments."

They make me laugh a lot.

We napped and laid around the rest of the day-- just took it easy.

Beckham seems better today, but we skipped church and a birthday party just to make sure we didn't spread it...
So far, Maddox has been spared, and we hope it stays that way.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

my favorite days

I have said (more than once) that the odd years are my least favorite.

But even though three is persistent... and five is awkward...
I have a feeling that when I look back on life to the best of days-- when things were simple and easy and happy and warm...
When I think of that sweet spot, that I would give anything to get back to...
I think I will go back to the chapter of life that we are in now.

These are my favorite days.

Tuesday, Lance turned 33.

I just thought that God blessed me when he gave me this man who loved me over and over and over-- even when I didn't deserve it.
...Who laughs with me... laughs at me... and tells me when I am wrong.
...Who grabs my hand to dance, even when there's no music.
...Who takes my side, every single time-- against all and anyone else.
...Who surprises me with the best fountain RC in the world when I am frustrated, with a smile and a goofy song.

But the real blessing from God, when I was given Lance-- is the co-parent that he would become.
And that's a completely different love.

He is my boys' daddy and their bestest best friend.
...A hands on dad, who takes his role to heart.
...The one who they get dirty with, make things for and save their best stories to tell.
...Their teammate, little league coach, and favorite snuggle partner.

He is loyal, and faithful, and honest and sincere.
He is an example that I will be proud for them to mirror.

Lance truly is one of a kind...
not just on his birthday--
but from the time he wakes up, kissing each of us in the same order-- every single time...
to the way he tells us goodnight, in the same exact rotation.

We celebrated over Mexican food at the Yucatan Taco Stand, and then went to the hospital to see Meme.

We went to dinner with Lance's dad the following night, to celebrate.
Because we like to celebrate over a few days like that!

Thursday Maddox had his last t-ball practice.
The season seemed so short.

And Friday was big.
Bigger than big...
As we registered Maddox for kindergarten.

I had asked him the night before how he felt about it.
He said that he was mostly excited and a little sad too.
[And that about summed up mine and Lance's evaluation of the situation as well.]

As we pulled up to the school, I felt happy and ready.
Then Lance said, "this is real babe... it is kind of emotional!" and I giggled.  Lance was getting soft and I was ready to let him ride.

We walked into the library and one of my friends from high school (who happens to be one of the kindergarten teachers, known for being AMAZING and awesome) walked up to say hi.
The way she tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows like, "you okay?", reminded me that I was not.
Tears fell before I knew they were coming.

It isn't the letting him go part that weakens my stride.
It is the realization that the world is hard, unforgiving, full of criticism, and there will be wolves in sheep's clothing; waiting to tear him apart--
It is knowing that he is his father, and will believe them when they promise him they are not.
I have to toss him into that, and he will never see it coming.

I have to let him fly, and have faith that I have done all that I could to make it a smooth flight.

Not everyone will think he is the funniest, smartest, sweetest, fastest, happiest, most quick-witted, loving, bundle of joy that we do...
and even worse, if they get wind of the fact that he might just be all that Lance and I have spent 5 years telling him that he is-- they'll rip him apart. 

But that's life.

I can no longer protect his every breath--
And it is now sink or swim, and I am out of time.
I only had five years to mold this little guy-- and pray that I did a good enough job.
They get the rest of his life to change him.

Ashley took him to do his evaluation while Lance and I filled out paperwork.
The little guy scored a perfect score and she made me feel so good with her praises of him.

We laughed when she told us about the picture of the kids playing in the sandbox and asked him to tell her a story about them.
He started it by letting her know that he has never played in a sandbox, because he's not allowed in them and then went on to say that the kids on the scooper should have a way bigger castle since they can dig up more sand.

We REALLY laughed though, when he came back from the physical evaluation and his PE coach (who was also mine and my brother's PE coach) was shaking her head and said, "we're going to have to work on that skipping".
We have spent 30 years making fun of my brother's inability to skip, and apparently it is hereditary!!

We had lunch at the cafe that I worked at in high school and my old boss (and friend) treated them to icecream sundaes.

We went home to play.
And by "play" I mean "get naked and filthy".

Beckham seriously got 3 baths on Friday... mainly because dirt carries the same things sandboxes do, and it sicks me out!

Maddox had his last tball game on Saturday and he played his best game yet.

Our league is strange in that each kid is pitched 5 balls, and if they aren't able to hit it-- they move in the tee.
But no matter how hard you hit it, you only run to first.
There are no outs... no points... and there are only two innings to which the inning is over when each kid has batted.

Saturday he had a few balls hit to him, that he stopped and made good throws with-- and he slid, belly first, like the pros... so for that, I think it was his best.


We celebrated with a trip to the Chilly Penguin's re-grand opening for free snow cones!
And were swarmed by bees in the process!

Lance's uncle is in town from New Mexico and Lance's dad had asked if we would host a cookout for him and Lance's granny.

Tony had scored some of the hot dogs that they sell outside of Home Depot, and we roasted them up with all the fixings!
It was a good time.

Church was good on Sunday.
It almost felt like it was written for us.

And afterwards, we did what we do best.

These are my favorite days.