...even if it kills me!

 I'm going to finish this dang 30 day challenge!!


Day 12-What you believe
I believe Jesus died for my sins and I have a place in Heaven waiting on me since this is pure within my heart.
I believe I am a good mom, even when I don't have a clue what I am doing.
I believe that life is short, and should be enjoyed thoroughly.
I believe I have some pretty awesome friends.
I believe in being frugal and living simple.
I believe I have a strong purpose in life.
I believe happiness is a decision.
I believe I am a good nurse.
I believe children give back what is put into them.
I believe I am blessed, even though I don't have a lot.
I believe misery breeds company, as does happiness.
I believe that holding hands keeps your marriage strong.


Day 13-Goals
I have a ton of goals...
I use to have them written down-- I would check off as I completed them, and add to the list as needed.
Then I became a mom.
And though I still want to go back to school...
and want to sell our Haslet house...
and run a race with my husband...
and get out of debt...
and cook only healthy meals...
and make money using my creative mind...
and find a schedule that is more orthodox for our family...
and get Maddox back to the potty training pro he once was...
But that is all minor in the big scale of life.
I just want to raise good kids.


Day 14-A picture you love
As I was searching for this picture to post, I ran across 496 other pictures that are my "absolute favorite"!!
But I have to go with this one... because I think that even at 100 years old, I will be able to look at this picture as get the same overwhelming feeling of joy that I do still today.

Day 15-Bible verse
I guess I really don't have one favorite verse... however I do have few that I turn to for different things.
I write them down when I find one that I think may help me in the future.
And my friend Candace has given me a few in times of need.
But I will post a few...
Because I am a mom:
"Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17
Because I am a nurse...
(And because I sometimes don't want to do the right thing...)
"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do..." Ephesians 6:7-8
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:9-10
Because I am a wife...
all of 1 Corinthians 13. (just look it up-- its too long to post)
And we keep this in the dining room... to remind us not to go to bed angry with one another.

Day 16-Dream house
Oh my gosh... I could go on and on and on, on this one!
I think about my dream house, um-- a lot.
I got to help my mom pick out a lot of things for house, and it gave me a slight 'fix' but I can not wait to build my own custom home one day!
As a matter of fact, I would love nothing more than to get a subscription to a magazine of house plans for a Christmas present one year! ;)
My dream house is very open concept-- with a beautiful entry way-- 2 story, with an open staircase plopped right in the living room.
Hand scraped wood floors, but 12" boards.  Dark stain.
Nothing scrolly or dainty... I want a heavy thick, solid house.
The kitchen is my main focus-- spacious, an island, a beautiful vent above the stove.  (the gas stove)  The cabinets, the faux finished walls, the pantry, I have it all mapped out!
I'd love an office, and a play room-- but, you know I want 50 kids.  I'd like a room for each of them, therefore I'd have to be creative on this part. I plan on living in this house until I die, so I don't want a 5 bedroom, 2 office empty house one day either.  Therefor my master bedroom has a sitting area that for now would be used as an office area.  The boys will share a large room than can be changed into a media or game room once they move out....
I could draw you a map-- talk to you about colors-- and map out details until I am blue in my face.
I wish it were already built, right here, on this land that we are on now-- right in between my brother's new house and my parents....
Here's to wishful thinking.


Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Future vacations.
Growing old with my husband.
Watching my kids grow up, reach different mile stones, play sports, find their niche and become individuals.
I look forward to life.


Day 18-Something you regret
I regret things every day....
There are a lot of mistakes I made when I was younger-- and some I cringe when I think about...
But to pinpoint a specific regret to list here...
I regret being so outspoken/ bitchy when I was younger... I say that Lance took the B. out of me (well a lot of it) but you are always 17 in your hometown, so to the town of Paradise, I am sure I am still an "outspoken B."
I also regret not going away to college.
I stayed for Lance-- so I guess it all played out in the end... but it doesn't mean that I don't regret it.


Day 19-Something you miss
Being young.
Lack-of-responsibility.
No bills.
...When life was easy.


Day 20-Nicknames
The only name my friends call me other than Holly, is Hol.
Maddox calls me momma.
My mom calls me sis.  ...And sugar bear growing up.
Now Lance.... his list goes for miles.
Babe, baby, honey, love, Linda, Collie dog.... and on and on and on....


Day 21-Picture of yourself

Day 22-What's in your makeup bag
I love make-up.
Probably a little too much.
Sephora is one of my top 10 stores, for sure!  (and the MAC counter)
I typically wear Bare Minerals or MAC (Studio Fix) powder for foundation.  But right now I am using Mary Kay's version of Bare Minerals. (my BFF Wendy sells it if you'd like to try it!)
When I think to apply it... I use Smashbox 'photofinish' primer and MAC concealer.
Right now I am using Clinique blush. But I am not particular about my blush.
But use Bare Minerals Pure Radiance for shimmer (a must!), and their bronzer in the summer.
I love Bad Gal mascara but have been using good 'ol Loreal Voluminous Black for a while.
For eyeliner, I either use eyeshadow and a special brush for smokier eyes or Maybelline Eyestudio for think sharp black lines.
I am terrible about wearing color on my lips... so Bath and Body Works tinted- minty- gloss is typically as far as it goes.
I have eye shadow from everywhere... but I honestly go back to the same colors 99% of the time.


Day 23-Favorite vacation
I thought I already answered this? (my honeymoon)
I'll chose a different one.
I loved our vacation to Florida when Maddox was 11 months old.
We needed a get away since we felt as if our world was falling apart at that point in our lives.
We stayed in a friend's beach house, right on the beach...
and didn't worry about anything.
It was great.

Day 24-Something you've learned
Happiness is a decision.
If its worth the fight... then fight a good fight.
Life is hard.


Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Shamefully, I have to tell you that I do not own an Ipod.
That's what Lance was going to get me for my 'pushing present' for Maddox...
I caught wind of that, and changed his gift to an Iphone.
I still have only uploaded maybe 8 or 10 songs to it!  (and most of them were all the songs I needed for Maddox's 2 year old slide show!)
I have an entire Brandon Rhyder CD on it... other than that: Need you Now (Lady A), Temporary Home (Carrie Underwood), Stay (Sugarland), The House that Built Me (Miranda Lambert), Beautiful Boy (Ben Harper), Somewhere Over the Rainbow (IZ), A Mother's Prayer (Rachel Aldous), I Shall Believe (Sheryl Crow)


Day 26-Picture of your family

Day 27-Pets
This one still makes me a little sad.
I try and not think about Macy.
I still miss her...
But not enough to replace her.


Day 28-Something that stresses you out
A lot of things stress me out.
No need to list them.


Day 29-3 Wishes
Lifelong happiness for my kids.


Day 30-a picture
Tonight we watched the meteor shower from our field.
(yes... these were taken at 12:30 at night!)

Oh, did it say one picture?!

Christmas is in the air.....

I feel incredibly blessed lately....
Nothing great is really going on, but I think I am soaking in life a little, ya' know?
I guess it is the Christmas in the air.

I absolutely love my work schedule.... I really love my job.
I love that I get to work, and make money and feel appreciated...
but get to spend the majority of my days at home and don't have to send Maddox to daycare.
I love that my son gets alone time with his daddy while I work, and has built such a great relationship with my parents since they keep him most of the time I am away.
I love my mom.

I love my husband.
He tells me every single day how much he loves my pregnant body.
I think maybe he is hinting that I'm too stickily in my real body, but either way I'll take the compliment.
It's easy to feel like a school bus when you are use to not thinking about your weight.
I appreciate him keeping my spirits up.
He's so patient.
The other night we rented 2 movies.  'Eat, Pray, Love'; for me. And Lance chose 'You Don't Know Jack'.  A movie about the career of Jack Kevorkian.  Mine was slow, not a movie I would probably ever see again, but made you think about the way we race through life.
Lance's was interesting, definitely not my cup of tea, but not completely horrible I guess.
However, late that night, Lance and I found crazy-paranoid Holly.  (it has been a while since we have seen her)  Dr kevorkian ended a majority of his patient's lives with carbon monoxide via a canister and mask. 
I could not stop wondering if our propane fireplaces were leaking carbon monoxide.
At 2:00am I found myself google-ing this info.
And crying.  Hysterically.
I wanted to wake Maddox up and put him in our bed.
I thought that if we were all going to be dead by morning, I at least wanted to be together.
Lance laughed at me... but he put him right beside me, in our bed .
I cried and told him how much I loved him and stared at his peaceful-sleeping-baby-face.... and finally fell asleep.
Morning came too soon but my husband let me sleep.
He scooped Maddox to the living room, fed him breakfast, and cleaned the house before I woke up.
He is such a good husband.
He has the best sense of humor.
I am having crazy- pregnant dreams.... or maybe my mom's sleeping habits--
Either way, twice now, I have flipped out of bed-- screaming-- thinking that there is a roach in our bed.
I am serious as a heart attack while it is happening and nothing makes me more mad than to be told that I am imagining it.
I am sure, at that moment, that I saw it.  (However, logic would say that I can't see anything while sleeping!)
I even asked him at one point, "do you want me to slap your face and see if you are imagining that?!"
Though annoyed, we get a good laugh about it the next day.

I love my baby boy.
He lights up my world daily in a million different ways-- every single day.
He is hilarious.
The things that come out of his mouth keep us rolling.
I wish I could remember everything he says-- but my brain isn't big enough!!
Just yesterday, he said:
"That's crazy talk" when I said his room was a mess.
"My pleasure" when I asked if he could put his empty juice cup in the sink.
"freaking dog!" in a real angry voice as I was carrying him to the car at mom's... and when I said, "that's not nice buddy-- we can't talk like that" he replied with, "well, he licked my toes--" like he was completely justified.  (thanks mom!)
He told me I was "scraggly" last night as I undressed for bed.  I told Lance that there's not much that can make you feel more ugly than the honesty of a 2 year old.
He agreed, since yesterday morning he told lance, "you stink!" Lance said, "Maddox!  That's rude" and he replied, "Its your mouth daddy- it is stinky."  (In his defense, Lance's morning breath is pretty rank!)
Those are only a few.
His imagination is endless--
It is often his birthday... party hats made out of cups, talk of balloons and party cake.
And other times we are pirates and have to say "ARG, Mate-y" all day!!

I love my tiny-tiny.
Who moves and kicks all day long now.
I love nights, laying on the couch or snuggled up in bed while my boys hold their hands on my belly trying to feel him move.
Maddox is never patient enough, but Lance feels him every day.
If you watch closely, you can see my belly move when he kicks.  I love that part.
I'm glad he is a boy now.
I love him already.
(Even if he did just take a huge growth spurt this week)

Anywho...
I pretty much love everyone.
And everything.
December just makes me feel cozy I guess.
Family, fire, Christmas--- I just feel blessed. 

Tonight, we tried the new Mexican food place in Paradise, and I was impressed!!
It was really good!
We left there and went and saw more Christmas lights.
I love to see the magic in Maddox's eyes.
If he said "wow" once, he said it a thousand times!
I love getting to experience moments like these with him... and my parents too!
Maddox still seems like such a baby when he's full of joy like that!
And this is just the beginning....

I have almost all of my Christmas presents bought.
Most of them are small and un-wrapable...
so though I am just about finished, there are only a few wrapped gifts under the tree.
Once I figure out how to put together the other gifts, I'll post a picture.
For now, this is what I've got:

And I made my own tags this year:

(As you can see, baby E still does not have a permanent name)

I had to re-buy a part of the grandmothers' gift.
Maddox got into the bag, and although I know it has to be in this house somewhere, I am running out of time to find it.
I re-purchased.

We have our tacky Christmas sweater party next weekend.
We just KNEW Lance would be on days by now so he never asked off for the day...
He's not.
Thankfully, a lady he works with is covering his shift!
 I can not wait to blog about this night, it is sure to be a blast!

I still have not made my Christmas cards.
A blog I follow posted an offer for 50 free cards for bloggers through shutterfly, but I need to read the details of the offer before I get them done or decide if I am going that route.
I'm running out of time.

It's late.
We are still up.
Maddox fell while climbing on his Bumbo, trying the reach the cream (baby lotion) on the top of his tv and bit his tongue.
It was a bloody massacre.
But nothing a kiss and a popsicle couldn't fix.

We better climb in bed, before we have accident number 2.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

A Christmas filled day!

Yesterday Lance and I took Maddox to Bass Pro Shop to see Santa!!

We chose Grapevine, because I needed to pick up a gift in South Lake on the way-- and they always have a lot of other things for the kids to do in the winter wonderland part.

We got there about 3:00-- just to find out that Santa didn't come out until 5:00.

I hate Bass Pro.  (30 minutes is about my max time that I can enjoy myself.)
2 hours, with an excited 2 year old, was more than I bargained for.

Luckily, we could still go into Santa's workshop area and waste some time there... and there were only a few other kids there a million years early so Maddox got to play with pretty much everything.

We got to drive remote control trucks, race cars on a track, shoot laser guns at targets, color Christmas pictures and shoot bows and foam arrows.

We got our "5:00 voucher"  about 4:20 and by 4:30 we started forming a line.  By 5:00 there were probably 100 people waiting behind us.
40 minutes, waiting in the same area... was testing to my patience.
And Maddox's.

Luckily, I packed snacks.

Santa showed his face about 5:10 and they got the show on the road.

We were maybe 7 people back, and I was nervous about Maddox watching all the screamers ahead of us.
He said, "that boy's very sad mommy"... and I just tried to change the subject.

Lance and I spent the majority of the time in time talking about how excited we were to see Santa and asking Maddox what he wanted to ask Santa for.

By the time it was our go, he was like a rocket-- ready to explode!

He ran up the red carpet to Santa and was spouting off his list before he could even touch him!!
(I wish sooooo bad, that I would have videoed it!)

We did not get a good-smiling picture... because Maddox could not stop talking... but we weren't screaming either-- so I guess I can't complain!!

Santa handed him is candy cane--
And we were off to the Merry go round!

We rode this twice...
There wasn't a line so we got to ride back to back!

We left Bass Pro and headed to the Mills to get the Choo-choo a couple of presents.
He fell asleep in his stroller so we had dinner at Chili's too in the mall...

We left, and drove around and saw Christmas lights.
(I tried to take some pictures of lights but when I put my camera on 'night-mode' they were blurry-- and on auto, they were ugly)

Then we made it home in time to watch Eat, Pray, Love.  (that we had rented the night before.)

Yesterday was a fabulous day!
A fabulously-Christmasy-filled-day!