It was one of those things that I was SO sure of that I immediately started second guessing it:
- Is it worth putting Maddox in Daycare, paying $900 a month to do so and only being able to play with him between the hours of 6:00pm and 9:00pm during the week?
- Is it worth leaving a job that I love, with doctors that not only do I respect and trust with my child, but that I also call my friends?
- Is it worth losing a boss that not only cares about how our practice runs as an entity but also cares about me personally, my husband and my child?
What I did not do however was call and check status. Each day someone would say, "have you heard anything yet?" and I would say... noooo? (you know, play the dumb card) and when they asked if I had called to check on it, I would simply say no. (like I didn't know that was something you were supposed to do?!)
WELL-- This past week I agreed to work for one of my friends while she went on her honeymoon. Initially I had intended to cancel my nights of night clinic during those 8 days (one of the other things I was sad to give up with the CCPN job... you've got to love that freedom of being PRN) but I was only able to cancel 2 of them since everyone came down with FLU!! The first week I worked 4 night clinic nights... 2 nights of call... and 3 days in the office. The 2nd week I worked 2 nights at night clinic... 2 nights of call... and all 5 days in the office. Although it felt so good to see some of my old patients and catch up with my old co-workers and to envision that check I was creating-- I WAS EXHAUSTED!!!
I have good work ethic, I always have, I am definitely not scared of working... and not to toot my horn, but I am good at my job-- I enjoy it.
But I HATED missing out on my time with my boy. Every day sucked. Each morning I would think about what breakfast I was missing out on... and play time... and bath time... and lunch time... and so on.
I made up my decision... [there is not a price tag on what I have now. I get to stay home with my pookie-pie everyday-- we can still do anything we want to as long as we are done by 4:00 and then I go to work, 4 nights a week. I try to have dinner in the crock pot or made into a casserole so things are easy for Lance or I will cook a big lunch for us and they have leftovers for dinner. My check is the same or more now that it was when I worked full time since I get a night time differential and take call now] ...I am not taking the new job!!
And luckily I did not have to disappoint my family and explain my "stupid" decision. They don't want me! Silly to say, but I am stoked! I got an e-mail last night that they have filled the position!
...And I got a raise from FWP last week at my 4 year evaluation!
I'm going to go with this being a "God thing"... an unanswered prayer. (or maybe a secretly answered prayer!)
Please continue to pray for Lance. WE NEED IT!